Parallax
by fortunesque
Summary: Everyone knows that Shepard and Kaidan are in a relationship... too bad they didn't get the memo.
1. Reminiscing

A/n: This is my first Mass Effect fic. The one posted on here will be severely edited, as I tend to write only 18+ fics. Go to my profile if you want the complete version. There is a link to my account on AFF where I post adult content. This will include future oneshot lemons as well. I recomend that anyone that wants to write some adult Mass Effect fics go to AFF. There is a section for ME, but it's not got a lot of fics in it. Show your pervy pride, people! :D

That being said, I will try to say which chapters will be edited for content.

_Parallax (n.)-_ An apparent change in the direction of an object, caused by a change in observational position that provides a new line of sight.

Commander Faith Shepard stared down into her third drink, her despondent countenance reflecting off of the liquid and mocking her with each passing second. The savior of the galaxy sat alone in a secluded corner of the bar. Her murderous hand stirred her deceptively sweet drink as she lost herself in thought. So much had been gained for humanity in the wake of her great campaign against Saren. She chuckled darkly as she sipped more of her drink. It must have shocked the shit out of everyone when she ordered that the _Destiny Ascension_ be saved at all cost. Shepard had her own strange reasons for everything she did. And try as she might, she couldn't get what happened on Virmire out of her head. Having to choose which one of her closest friends would die made the orphaned Earth-born second guess her whole way of life.

Shepard _never_ second guessed herself before.

After her crew dispersed for leave, the first human Spectre was left alone with her inner demons for the first time in a long time. The question of "what now?" addled her mind. Shepard was once again without a plan.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but is this seat taken?" a male voice brought her out of her musings. What was wrong with these men hitting on her? She thought she looked not interested enough.

"What the hell is wrong with…" Shepard stopped when she looked up to meet the honey-brown gaze of her Lieutenant. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she motioned for him to sit down.

Kaidan smiled brightly and looked around at the quiet corner booth. "Quite a nice setup you have here," he remarked before changing his tone considerably. "But, you definitely need someone to share it with. Drinking alone isn't much fun, ma'am". His dark brow furrowed in concern.

"Well, "she rolled her eyes, "until now, decent company has been in very short supply, Lieutenant". Shepard chuckled under her breath as her mischievous eyes met his questioning ones. Anyone that dared to approach her earlier other than her waitress was promptly rejected. It was funny to see the same men from earlier look in her table's direction with jealousy. Ashley would have laughed her ass off about the whole situation. Shepard looked down at her drink and sighed.

"Before we landed on Virmire, I told Ash that each time you kill it gets easier," she closed her eyes and downed the rest of the contents of the drink. Her hand slammed the glass back onto the table as she forcefully exhaled, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Hell," Kaidan leaned back, his thick arms moving to rest on the table. "At least let warn a man before you start saying things like that".

Shepard laughed bitterly and flagged the waitress over.

"Four shots of tequila," she said as Kaidan lifted his eyebrows at her. "Ash told me that when we went on leave, she wanted two things: tequila shots, and to see you get shitfaced".

"Alright," he sighed, "for Ash, then".

Shepard smirked. Getting the extremely self-controlled biotic to agree to a night they wouldn't remember was going to be fun. The waitress returned quickly with the requested shots. The Commander and Lieutenant both grabbed one and raised them for a toast.

"To Ash," they said in unison and downed the first shot. Shepard reached for another shot.

"To Kirrahe," she announced, "though the bastard took my Chief".

"To Kirrahe," Kaidan chuckled before downing the shot.

Shepard flagged the waitress over again. It was going to be a long night.

__________________________________________________

A few hours later found Shepard and her lieutenant in the same corner of the bar, glasses and lemons littering the table. They toasted all kinds of things until they were, on all accounts, far beyond toasted. Reminiscing and having a serious talk seemed to help, so they decided to pay the bill and stumble back to the_ Normandy_.

Shepard opted to slide out of the booth, the vinyl seat protesting as she attempted to scoot across its sticky surface. She braced herself on the table and the side of the booth and slowly stood. She looked over at Kaidan and watched him fail trying to stand up. After three tries, he finally succeeded.

They slowly stumbled out of the bar, holding on to each other. The journey to the elevator was riddled with wrong turns and missteps. Upon reaching the elevator, Kaidan reached to press the button and missed multiple times before finally hitting the mark, jamming his finger in the process.

"We are so shittin' fuckfaced," Shepard mistakenly slurred. The lieutenant looked at her and blinked a few times. His brain tried to assess her statement.

"You want me to do what to your face?" came his serious reply. They stumbled into the elevator and waited for the exasperatingly long ride down.

"Oo! I have an idea!" Shepard's eyes lit up. "Let's dance!" She began to inappropriately grind on her subordinate off beat with the ridiculous elevator music. Kaidan laughed and started dancing along, forgetting that the elevator was made entirely of glass.

The inevitable happened. Shepard lost her balance and fell against the wall. Her hands barely stopped her from face planting as her body automatically tried to rebalance itself by sticking her butt out and leaning over. Unfortunately, Kaidan lost balance as well and ended up draped over Shepard. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You're a horrible dancer," he smirked and stood back, allowing her to right herself. Her eyes grew wide with his accusation.

The elevator doors opened.

"I'll have you know that I'm very good," she narrowed her eyes. "In fact, I'm probably the best there is. I'm absolutely unforgettable."

"Then you'll have to show me, because I'm not convinced," he countered. They exited the elevator, still clinging to each other in order to facilitate walking. After a particularly nasty stumble, Shepard groaned.

"Bed. Now." she said breathlessly. The _Normandy_ was so close.

"God yes," Kaidan replied. He hadn't been this drunk in a very long time and he feared what the next day would bring.

At last, they reached the ship, relieved that they could finally pass out. Neither one of them noticed the slack jawed paparazzo at the bottom of the elevator, shocked at what he had just recorded.


	2. Orly

I do not own Mass effect nor do I make any money from writing this fic.

A/N: It's chapter 2! Thank you everybody for reading, and a special thank you to FireStallion and Lawliet's Shinigami for reviewing. Reviews encourage writers to write more! (Just saying)

Also, there is nothing in this chapter that is different from the one on AFF, so you are NOT missing any smut if you care to read it. Anyway, onward and upward!

The first thing Kaidan became aware of was his head throbbing with a ferocity he had never before felt. His eyes opened slowly as nausea hit him full force. Apparently, he was in the infirmary of the _Normandy_. How in the seven hells he had gotten there was a mystery to him. All he knew was that if he moved quickly, he was sure to throw up.

It took him all his effort to not wince too hard when the infirmary doors opened to reveal a hung over Shepard, her face covered in small red blotches and her hair matted to her head. Their eyes met and she let out a grunt, signaling hello. He gently closed his eyes as she walked over to the med station, each step sounding like it was made by an army of Krogan. Her subsequent rummaging through the drawers forced him into speaking.

"What are you looking for?" came from his raw throat. Kaidan found himself able to slowly roll over to face her.

"Whatever that stuff is that Chakwas gives you," she replied and continued to rummage.

"Top left, fifty milligrams," his eyes closed again as the noise she made became near unbearable.

A sigh escaped his lips when she finally stopped and found what she was looking for. After a little bit of silence, Kaidan opened his eyes. Shepard stood over him with a drug-filled syringe, a serious look etched into her features. Had his condition permitted it, he would have laughed. Instead, the solemn Lieutenant looked his Commander in the eyes to express his thanks as she injected the strong painkiller into his arm.

"Puppy eyes," she cooed, her laugh reverberating through her hand that was still latched onto his bicep. They had always been like this. At times they'd flirt and each would go their separate way, both needing to take a cold shower afterward. On the other hand, they'd bicker like a brother and sister and play ruthless pranks on each other. At the same time, they were inseparable warriors; in battle they moved as one, their teamwork getting the task at hand done quickly and efficiently. Their bizarre friendship was truly unlike any other.

Kaidan slowly sat up as he felt the powerful drug start to take effect and heal his migraine. The stuff was working much quicker than it usually did. But, it was no matter. Right now, a huge glass of water and a shower was his priority.

"This stuff is amazing," Shepard marveled as she began to dispose of the needles.

"Well," Kaidan replied, "it is highly restricted. But I don't see that it should be a problem since you're the CO."

"Hah!" Shepard barked, the sound piercing the serenity of the _Normandy_'s dark hull. "I'll have you know that your CO doesn't know shit about medical anything." She put her hands on her hips as she awaited his response.

"You seemed to know what you were doing with those needles," he said as he narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"I was in a gang and lived in the slums," she rolled her eyes. "Like I wouldn't have _some _experience with needles."

His response was nothing more than a quiet, "oh". Once again, the Lieutenant managed to say something awkward. He turned his head to the side in shame. Shepard's hand came down to gently squeeze his shoulder, telling him it was alright. He looked up when her grip tightened considerably.

"Ma'am?" his brows knit in concern.

"Holy shit," she continued to increase her grip on her Lieutenant's shoulder as her eyes widened. "How much did you say we were supposed to have?"

"Fifty milligrams, why?" his expression became even more concerned.

"Oh," Shepard's expression mellowed out into a lazy smile. "Have fun then".

"Shepard! How much did you…" his question trailed off as his body began to tingle. "Hell".

"Just," Shepard hesitated for a second, "go with it". She swayed on her feet. "I think it's shower time now. I feel gross," the Commander mused out loud, turning to walk toward the door as she spoke.

Kaidan shrugged it off and followed suit. A shower was a good idea after all.

__________________________________________

After a long shower in her personal quarters, Shepard decided to check her messages. She sighed as she logged in to her account. Here she was, many years after learning how to live sober, tripping balls after a night of binge drinking.

"Some fucking hero," she laughed to herself.

Shepard groaned when she read the only message in her inbox. Apparently Councilman Anderson wanted to speak with her and Alenko in private about something immediately. Of course, this meeting was non-negotiable. Her arms collapsed onto the desk, her head following with a plunk and a curse. There was no getting out of this. Resignedly, Shepard pushed off from her desk and left her quarters to find the Lieutenant. She didn't have to look far.

He was at the mess table, presumably clean, eating at an alarming rate. His head popped up when she coughed to get his attention.

"Anderson wants to speak with the two of us," Shepard paused and sighed, "immediately".

"Shit," he cursed around his mouthful of food and swallowed. "What the hell are we going to do? Holy shit!" He looked at her with wide eyes.

Shepard laughed. "You've never been high before, have you Alenko?"

His response was a headshake "no". It was cute how his cheeks colored in embarrassment. It wasn't the first time Shepard saw the man blush, and she was sure it wouldn't be the last.

"Just let me do all the talking," she smirked. "I'm pretty good at having to act sober while under the influence. It's a trick I picked up long ago. Never thought I'd have to do it ever again though".

He simply nodded, already employing the rules Shepard set forth. After another gigantic mouthful of food, he stood and walked up to her, his eyes pleading. Shepard sighed and pulled him in for a hug.

"You'll be fine," she assured him. "I'll take care of everything". Shepard hugged the Lieutenant tighter in a further attempt to ease his paranoia. Her eyes widened when she felt something poking into her lower abdomen. "That _is_ your pistol, isn't it?"

She was met with silence.

"You know, just forget that I asked," Shepard blushed and mumbled under her breath. "Fuckin' awkward".

Leaving the incident behind them, the Commander and Lieutenant walked toward the airlock. Hopefully, they would be able to get to Anderson's office undetected. They had no such luck. Khalisah Al-Jilani was waiting for them, her camera bot floating beside her.

"Commander Shepard!" her ignorant voice echoed throughout the docking area as if she and the Commander were friends, "would I be able to have an interview with you and Lieutenant Alenko?"

Shepard paused for a moment, wondering why Al-Jilani would want to talk to Kaidan as well. She shrugged it off; Shepard felt particularly charitable at that moment and nodded her consent. The camera bot lit up, signaling the beginning of the interview.

"Thank you for your time," Al-Jilani oozed. "Now, how long have you two been together?"

"Since Eden Prime," Shepard recalled, thinking that the question was odd.

"Oh, wow," the reporter was genuinely surprised. "That is quite a while. Do you have any nicknames for Lieutenant Alenko?"

"Yeah," Shepard rolled her eyes at the dumb question, "when he pleases me, I call him Koko. If he's been a naughty boy, I call him Boo-boo. And, if he has a headache, I whisper softly in his ear". By this point Shepard was holding her sides from laughing so hard. Kaidan tried his hardest to not crack up, but ultimately failed. The whole thing was so damn ridiculous, and Al-Jilani didn't seem to get the joke. Shepard was once again trying to make an ass out of the reporter.

"Um, that's very interesting," the reporter wasn't sure if the Commander was being serious. She decided to continue the interview. "In the light of what happened last evening and the rumors that have been circulating, are you afraid the Alliance will separate you two?"

"What?!!" Shepard's laughter cut off abruptly as she became immediately enraged by the question. "That won't happen. We are a team, and I'll be damned if the Alliance wants to take my man away from me. This interview is over. I don't have time for such ridiculous questions". Shepard's glare was enough to make the brazen reporter not bother to insist on further questioning.

The Commander grabbed Kaidan by the crook of the elbow and hauled him over to the elevator. The subsequent ride up and walk to the Councilman's office was filled with Shepard's mumbled curses about stupid reporters and Kaidan's long, pouty sighs of embarrassment. He wondered why the painkillers hadn't mellowed out the high-strung Commander.

Kaidan was brought out of his musings by the office doors opening. He followed Shepard in, only to see Anderson sitting at his desk, his head in his hands. When the Councilman lifted his gaze, Kaidan was struck by his appearance. The man looked tired beyond belief.

"Both of you, sit," Anderson's voice floated witheringly across the empty space of the oversized office. "I'm sure you two have seen the news reports and know why you're here".

"I don't believe either of us has had the time to look at the news, sir," Shepard replied as she sat down across from the weary ex-captain.

"Then you'd better watch this," he said as he pressed a few buttons to load a video on a nearby screen.

Shepard started chuckling as she watched the footage of her and Alenko dancing in the elevator and falling on each other. She burst out laughing when she heard what was said and saw them stumble to the Normandy. Kaidan was much less impressed than Shepard. In fact, he was downright mortified.

"Oh my God!" the Lieutenant burst out, "I had no idea we were that drunk in public! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it! I didn't!"

His eyes were impossibly huge as he began to spew profuse apologies at Councilman Anderson. Shepard put her head in her hands. What was that part of "do not talk" did Alenko not get? And he was staring Anderson right in the eyes!

"Lieutenant," Anderson narrowed his eyes, "are you high?"

Kaidan's mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

"It's my fault, sir," Shepard sighed as she took the blame for Kaidan's state. "We both had hangovers this morning, and I accidentally overdosed us on some meds from the infirmary. I promise you, it will never happen again".

Anderson's mouth twisted into a sad smile. He'd known Shepard for years, and never once had he heard her take the blame for anything. The ruthless Commander usually threw everyone she could under the bus to protect herself; this was a wonderful new development to this bizarre story. Anderson had thought about this debacle for hours and Shepard had just given him proof that his decision was correct.

"Look," Anderson's voice cut through the tension, "Shepard, I've known you since you enlisted, and I've always felt like something of a mentor to you, and at other times, I feel like you're the daughter I never had. You're very lucky that the rest of the Council and the Alliance have allowed me to deal solely in this matter. Most people in my position would feel compelled to punish you for your actions, but I see the impact the Lieutenant has had on you. I wish you two the best, but I have one request: don't let your fraternization cloud your judgment on your missions".

Silence pervaded the room as Shepard and Kaidan traded horrified looks. Anderson waited patiently for their response. It certainly wasn't what he expected; Shepard burst out in nervous laughter, her face turning red with each passing second.

"I assure you," Shepard's voice was tense, "there is nothing of that nature going on between me and the Lieutenant. We were just drunkenly dancing in the elevator". Kaidan fervently nodded in agreement.

"You two should make it easier on yourselves and just admit it," Councilman Anderson replied. "It's okay. You don't have to hide it anymore; I've made sure that there won't be any repercussions".

"But!" they replied in unison.

"No buts," Anderson was suddenly very serious, "you can't hide love like that, and I won't let either of you two suffer while trying to do so. Now, I have a very busy day ahead of me and I need to ask you both to leave. I'm sorry we can't discuss this further". He gently ushered the confused "couple" out of his office.

They looked at each other, both wearing the same confused look. Shepard linked arms with the stunned Lieutenant and smiled sheepishly.

"So, drinks again tonight?"


	3. Ferret

A/N: This chapter took a while to get out. I'm pleased with the results, and I hope you all are as well.

_**IF YOU WANT TO READ THE EXPLICIT VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER, GO TO MY PROFILE AND CLICK ON MY WEBSITE. IT CONTAINS KAIDAN HAVING SEX WITH HIMSELF, SO IF THAT KIND OF THING TURNS YOU OFF, JUST READ THIS CHAPTER HERE!**_

I believe that the _Normandy_ has more to it than the game shows. Where are the showers? And the number of sleeper pods and mess hall seats compared (8 for both) to the number of crew is a little off (30, aliens included). I don't know… I just think it has to be bigger to facilitate actual living. And! And! I know people write about a food dispenser, but where the hell is that? O.O I have the game out now, and I do not see anything that looks even remotely close to being able to do such a thing. That being said, my _Normandy_ has showers in it as well as other necessities. Deal plz :D

Warning! This chapter contains sappy friendship fluff!

A partially emptied bottle of vodka plunked down on the floor of the _Normandy_, its contents sloshing around merrily before settling. The hand holding said bottle lazily slid off of its neck, a greasy trail left in its wake. Both parties decided to scandalously drink in the ship they presided over in order to avoid gossiping reporters and questioning civilians. The crew came back tomorrow evening, and they figured this would be the best possible empty place to hide in the meantime.

Shepard looked up at her Lieutenant, showing him the same lazy smile that she had acquired since her intoxication previously that night. He was equally inebriated. The reserved Lieutenant smiled down at his Commander, his honey-brown eyes hazy from alcohol. He was never good at starting conversations; Shepard broke the silence.

"I vote to just play along with this ridiculous rumor and make an ass of everyone that assumes we're together," she slurred, her lopsided grin making his heart skip an inexplicable beat.

"Whatever you do, I will follow," Kaidan replied. He was never good at insisting that he was right unless there was an explicit reason to insist so. Shepard was charismatic and he was reserved; surely she would deal with these sudden rumors with the utmost charm. And if that didn't work, the Commander could just intimidate them into accepting the truth. They weren't together and God help the pathetic soul that assumed such. She'd punched people in the face for much less. Both thought the same way:

They were just very close friends, weren't they?

Kaidan didn't want to think about the implications of what he was doing. Already, his brain added up that he had a supposed "affair" with his CO, brought contraband on board the vessel that he was in partial authority of, and currently, was lazing about with said CO on said vessel, not sure if he was able to stand and walk without stumbling. He laughed to himself. Never had he thought he'd be in this situation. Shepard made even the most outrageous things out to be mere diversions for her eccentric tastes.

"What was that thing?" Shepard's voice sliced through the Lieutenant's thoughts. "Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live I will live," she paused, trying to remember what came next. What he said earlier made her think of something she heard recited at a friend's wedding.

"Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried," he interjected, skipping a line. Their eyes met as he continued. "I mean it Shepard; I will follow you to the ends of the universe."

Her eyes softened at his declaration. In uncertain times like these, it was good to have a friend like Kaidan as a steady constant. She leaned in to put her head on his shoulder. Somehow, she knew with him by her side, everything would be alright.

"Best friends?" she asked, looking up at him with shining eyes. Alcohol turned her into a sentimental fool at times.

He chuckled. "Yes, best friends, Shepard." He moved his head to rest on top of hers.

Shepard sighed and leaned further in to the Lieutenant, allowing his strong body to catch the brunt of her weight. When he encircled her in his arms a thought came to her mind: If they were best friends, then why did she have the sudden urge to kiss his cheek? She shook her head out of these thoughts and tried to lighten the mood.

"You know," Shepard chuckled, "I think the _Normandy_ might get jealous. She and I do have a thing going on…"

"Well, wherever she dies, we will surely die," Kaidan replied, his rich laughter following his declaration.

"Then we ought to toast to her health," Shepard raised the bottle in salute to the prototype ship before taking a generous swallow. She passed the bottle to her Lieutenant who did likewise. He exhaled with a laugh; she shot him a confused look.

"Shepard, about last night…" he began, "did we toast the Mako???"

Shepard laughed outright, barely remembering the slurred toast to the wondrous vehicle. They often did ridiculous stunts in it to pass the time traveling across terrain that was monotonous and riddled with rocks good for launching the vehicle high in the air. They also liked to use the thrusters to hop over enemy rockets. It was quite a convenient little maneuver. Without a doubt, it was time to toast the Mako once again.

The bottle was raised and emptied.

_________________________________________________________

Slowly, Shepard gained consciousness and awareness of her surroundings. The Spectre decided that she was very wise to drink as much water as her stomach could hold before she went to bed. Her head didn't hurt and neither did her stomach. It was a good morning. Shepard's clothing was intact, minus her boots. There was also a warm body next to her and something inexplicably hard pressed up against her backside. Her eyes shot open when she realized who and what was behind her. Shepard blinked a few times to collect herself. It wouldn't do any good for her to be caught embarrassed again by the man pressing himself against her. She scooted forward, rolled over to face her Lieutenant and socked him in the arm.

"Good morning, Woody," her monotonous voice floated across the bed as Kaidan yelped in surprise at being hit. He opened his eyes and sat up, his tousled hair resembling the fluffy, formless down of a dark newborn chick.

"What was that for?" he asked while rubbing his pulverized arm.

"What do you think, Woody?" she countered, narrowing her eyes at him in mock anger. His subsequent blush showed that he figured out why he had been awoken so violently. The Lieutenant found himself unable to look his Commander in the eye. Shepard burst out laughing at the sight of the battle hardened marine acting like a school boy. They'd been in awkward situations before, but this one took the cake.

"I-I think I'm just going to go now," he said as he slowly scooted off the edge of the bed, putting as much effort as possible into hiding his morning erection. Kaidan sulked from the Captain's quarters, duly mortified as Shepard continued to laugh at the situation.

The whole thing was hilarious once one got over the initial shock. Here they awoke, snuggled up in her bed like lovers when the world thought they were. And they weren't. But they were always permissive with each other; it was only natural that their friendship progress to cuddling. They had been through so much together. Besides, they had been drinking the previous night, and Shepard knew that she, for one, was very likely to get touchy when she drank. That, and Shepard was and always would be one of the guys. Last night was dude time. Really.

No, waking up in each other's arms meant nothing.

Thus satisfied with her internal deduction, Shepard readied herself for the return of her crew. There was much to do, and less time to do it in.

______________________________________

Kaidan found himself slowly calming down after the embarrassing incident as he walked to the shower. All things considered, it would have been hilarious _if_ the person with the erection in question wasn't him. Then again, he knew he couldn't help it, and he was pretty sure Shepard knew that too.

"Dammit!" he cursed when he realized that Shepard was feigning anger to tease him again. He wondered what the hell it was about her that made him completely stupid. Kaidan was extremely smart and witty, but Shepard completely destroyed all of his common sense. He sighed and shrugged it off. Most likely it was "man around beautiful woman" syndrome. Shepard was, after all, very attractive, and he wasn't the first one to admit it. Kaidan walked in on many conversations about the _Normandy_'sgorgeous CO. Yes, Shepard's combination of brains and beauty must have been what continually made the Lieutenant stupid around her.

Kaidan undressed and stepped into the shower, his mind only partially satisfied with the answer it provided. He cowered as the shower automatically turned on, its frigid water not yet warmed. The purpose of an automatic shower with a personnel sensor was to save water, but it sure was horrible for the first minute before it warmed up. Shepard was damn lucky that she could wait for her shower to warm up. There were so many Captain's privileges.

He began to clinically wash himself, trying desperately to ignore the fact that despite the sudden, horrendous blast of cold water did little to abate his masculine issues. His thoughts wandered to when the crew would return to the _Normandy_ for further daring exploits in saving the universe. Those whom he was able to acquaint himself with would be returning this evening. It was one of those cases where a coworker became a comrade, and comrades made for the closest of friends. Though, apparently, there would also be a few new faces as well. Getting them settled in was sure to be interesting. It was always funny to see people's reactions to Shepard's appearance. She was truly a beauty beyond compare.

He huffed when he realized that he had been thinking of Shepard in a very inappropriate manner. What was wrong with him lately? Yesterday's news must have gotten into his head. Kaidan finished washing and exited the shower. He had only a few hours to prepare for the arrival of the crew.

_______________________________________________

Hours later, the crew began to trickle in, though nobody dared to be late. Kaidan situated himself in the cockpit and kept Joker company while they waited for Shepard to arrive. In the time that the Lieutenant had been showering, Shepard disappeared and hadn't been back since. It made the man slightly nervous.

Finally, the sound of the _Normandy_'s door opening reached the crew's ears. Shepard entered the ship, a small unopened bottle of potent alcohol in her hand. She held it against her leg to where the crew wouldn't see it from the side as she walked. Only he and Joker would be privy to Shepard's indiscretion. Kaidan shook his head. This was typical Shepard behavior, always breaking the rules.

Shepard made her way to the intercom button; the crew that saw her entrance waited in anticipation of what this legendary woman would have to say.

"Listen up, _Normandy_," her voice pervaded the ship. "This is your Captain speaking. I'm not very good at speeches. In fact, I'm not very commanderly at all." Her voice trailed off as she mentally debated if commanderly was a word or not. She shook the thought from her head and continued. "There are many on board that have been here before. Welcome back. For those of you who don't know how we operate here, you'll learn soon enough. The _Norman_…" Shepard paused briefly to swallow, "is a wonderful ship and a great atmosphere to work in. Don't fuck it up."

"Um, Commander," Joker piped up, his voice audible through the ship's speakers, "the last I heard, the ship wasn't called the _Norman_."

Shepard blinked innocently before realizing her mistake. "Sorry, I swallowed when I was saying _Normandy_."

"Was it good?" Kaidan's voice floated across the intercom. Shepard apparently hadn't removed her hand from the button. He was immediately horrified at what he said for the whole crew to hear.

"Not as good as you," Shepard quipped, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. The crew sat in stunned silence. Apparently the rumors on the news were true. The Commander and the Lieutenant had a forbidden affair with each other.

The tense silence was interrupted by the sound of the _Normandy_'s door opening once again. Admiral Hackett's voice floated through the air, along with the voice of Councilman Anderson. Shepard looked down at the bottle of alcohol in her hand and frantically scrambled to find a place to hide it. No places revealed themselves. The Commander panicked as the sound of footsteps drew closer.

Kaidan stood up and Shepard hastily shoved the small bottle of contraband down the front of his pants.

"Ah!" his face flamed in indignation. "Shepard, no!"

It was too late. Hackett and Anderson appeared right after the Lieutenant's outburst. He wiltingly saluted them, hoping to God that neither would look down. Everything seemed to be going well.

"We just came to see you off," Hackett's raspy voice brought Kaidan out of his horrified stupor. "We wish you well and I wanted to let you know that…" Hackett's eyes widened. "Jesus Christ, Lieutenant." He was eyeing the impossibly large bulge in Alenko's pants. Shepard turned red, fearing that she'd be caught.

"It's like a small ferret, sir," she interjected, only caring that she wasn't caught with contraband on her ship.

Hackett mumbled something about inhuman biotics and excused himself, hauling a paled Anderson along with him. Shepard turned to Joker and directed him to get the _Normandy_ out of port and not to speak of what he just saw to anyone. She turned to Kaidan, realizing that all eyes were on them and that she had to safely get her booze to her quarters. Her hand snaked its way into the crook of his elbow and she led him down the center of the ship to the stairway on the far end. Whispers of forbidden sexual exploits followed in their wake, the female crew members' faces turning red as they tried to not stare at the well-endowed Lieutenant's package; the male crew members looked on in awed reverence.

They finally reached Shepard's quarters. Kaidan found himself somehow alive after the worst walk of shame in his life.

"I'm sorry about that," Shepard flashed him a stunning smile. "I'll share some with you for putting up with my carelessness." She reached into his pants for the bottle, staring him directly in the eyes. His mouth went dry at her boldness.

He finally found his voice as she safely tucked the bottle away. "Woman, you're going to turn me into a drunk."

"Maybe that isn't such a bad thing," she quipped, her hips swaying as she walked up to him. Shepard's dangerous eyes challenged him to contradict her.

"No, I guess not," he smirked. This woman would surely be the death of him.


	4. Croutons, Handcuffs, and Blindfolds

A/n: Some of this chapter came easily. Other parts were tough to write. I'm not 100% happy with it, but what can you do? I just wanted to give all the readers and reviewers a thank you. The Mass Effect fanfic community, though small, is extremely friendly and welcoming. I wanted to give the reviewers a special thank you as well. I love hearing that I make you laugh :D

Anyway, I hope everybody enjoys this chapter. There's UST on top of UST with some UST and a dash of UST on the side. UST is for dessert btw.

To say that Dr. Liara T'Soni was upset would be a gross understatement. The dim lighting of her small room did little to hide her despondent countenance. She had always suspected that Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko had some sort of special relationship, and recent events proved her suspicions very likely to be true. If only she had confessed her feelings to Shepard earlier! Maybe she would have had a chance. These worries left the young Asari without an appetite.

Liara put her head in her hands as she thought. No, she never stood a chance with Shepard. It was best this way. According to her research, the Lieutenant had everything a human female desired. He was tall, muscular, handsome, smart, and according to recent rumors, had a very large penis. Apparently the bigger this penis was, the more attractive the male. At least, that was the conclusion Liara came to. She didn't even have one of those. And based on what Shepard said about a "ferret" creature, she was glad she didn't! Though, it would seem strange that such an organ would be covered in fur and come equipped with claws and teeth. She startled when the door to her makeshift abode opened to reveal Dr. Chakwas, a tray of food in her hands.

"Dr. T'Soni," she said, "I have taken the liberty to bring some food to you since you seem to not want to bring yourself to it." Her face showed the barest hint of concern before she set the tray next to the defeated Asari.

"Dr. Chakwas," she began, her voice taking on the innocent tone of a young child, "I don't understand why a human woman would want a man with a penis that looks like a ferret." Her big blue eyes turned to look at the Doctor, whose face was rapidly reddening. Had she said something wrong again?

Dr. Chakwas scrunched her eyes shut, trying to choose her next words carefully. "That was just referring to the size," she coughed awkwardly. "It would be similar to the phrase 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse'. It doesn't mean that there's literally a ferret in his pants." Chakwas let out the breath that she had been holding. Mission accomplished, hopefully. God knew she used enough pronouns to sugar coat the situation.

Liara's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, by the Goddess!" the young Asari began to laugh. "That makes much more sense. I… I believe I will eat now. Thank you for your concern." Chakwas wasn't entirely convinced by Liara's false bravado.

"What are you really upset about?" her cobalt eyes pierced into Liara's. The Doctor was ever insightful.

"I just…" the Asari's countenance dimmed, "I am happy for Shepard and the Lieutenant. But I wish I had the courage to tell Shepard how I felt before it was too late. I know now that I would have had no chance with her, but it still would have made me feel better."

"Do you still feel that way?" the ship's doctor's expression softened.

"Yes," Liara smiled. "I appreciate all Shepard has done for me, regardless of her romantic interest. She is truly one of the most caring beings I have ever encountered."

"Then maybe you should tell her that," Chakwas smiled and put her hand on Liara's shoulder. "Shepard has immense pressure put on her to perform. I'm sure she would appreciate hearing that."

Dr. T'Soni sighed. "Why bother when she already has a lover to appreciate everything about her?" She ran her hands down the sides of her face in frustration.

"Just because someone has a lover doesn't mean they don't appreciate a friend," Chakwas said as she stood. "Now, please eat. I don't want Shepard to think I'm not doing my job well."

"Thank you, Dr. Chakwas," Liara smiled softly, "I believe you are right. I will talk to Shepard when I get the chance."

Chakwas nodded and left, the doors opening and generating a light breeze. When the air hit Liara's nose, she put her head in her hands again. Dr. Chakwas smelled very similar to Benezia.

It was strange how little things like that would remind her of her late mother and the awkward relationship they never had the opportunity to repair. She began to pick at the food, disheartened once again. Slowly, she forced herself to eat. Liara knew that it was logical to eat and furthermore, it would be rude to not eat the food that the doctor had brought her. Her thoughts drifted to Shepard and her despondence grew. After eating half of the proffered food, Liara had enough. She stood up and walked to the mess to dispose of the tray of food.

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A feminine hand selected a crouton from a plate and moved it to a bowl of ranch. The hapless crouton was pursed between a delicate thumb and forefinger and submerged three times in the dressing, its dairy baptism smothering it for its demise. The hand dropped it into an awaiting open mouth; the crouton's final sounds were muffled crunches as it was crushed into oblivion by hungry jaws and blunt human teeth.

Shepard selected another and repeated the process, the crunching of the large croutons audible to anyone within a ten foot radius of the mess.

Kaidan cringed when another loud series of crunches reached his ears. He couldn't concentrate with all the noises Shepard's snack created. The frazzled Lieutenant put his tools down and figured he could at least investigate the source of the excessive crunching. He walked the short distance to the table and sat down next to Shepard; in front of her lay a plate of croutons and a bowl of ranch dressing. Her right forefinger and thumb were lightly coated in the dressing. The Lieutenant watched Shepard repeat the process she had been at for an upwards of ten minutes.

Her hand reached for another crouton and thoroughly coated it in dressing. This time, however, Shepard considered the crouton carefully before extending her hand to Alenko's bemused face. He quickly caught her wrist as it appeared that the mischievous Commander was going to try to smash the food directly in his face. Shepard began to pout and Kaidan knew that his assumption was correct.

"We're not going to do that, now," he chided, his voice barely above a whisper. The Lieutenant took the opportunity of Shepard's hand being immobilized to slowly bring his mouth closer to the Commander's exceedingly strange snack. His lips parted as he snagged the crouton in his teeth, taking it from her hand and crunching down on it. He considered Shepard's fingers for a brief second before drawing them into his mouth, suckling gently to remove the dressing. Slowly, he drew back to remove her fingers from his mouth, his tongue running along the sensitive bottom of her index finger. Kaidan looked up into Shepard's eyes and she shuddered, her cheeks red from the sensual contact.

The Lieutenant released Shepard's wrist with a start when the med bay doors opened to reveal Liara, a tray of partially eaten food in her hand. His face turned red to match Shepard's. Just what the hell was he thinking? He was licking his Commander's fingers for God's sake! This was unacceptable, no matter how much he enjoyed it. But that wasn't to say he enjoyed it. Well, maybe he did enjoy it, but just only a little bit. Shepard's voice snapped him out of his mini mental meltdown.

"Liara," she smiled, "I haven't seen you much lately. Sit down and talk with us." The Commander motioned to the seat across from her. It amazed the Lieutenant how this woman could be caught in an awkward moment then suddenly be perfectly fine the next minute. He, on the other hand, didn't recover well from embarrassment.

Liara disposed of her tray and sat down. She couldn't look at them. She sighed; Shepard referred to herself and Alenko as 'us'. There was the proof, undeniable and staring her in the face. Liara steeled herself. She would live for a thousand years; this was merely an upset in the road of life. The young Asari forced her face into a half-hearted smile. Benezia's imparted wisdom would surely guide her.

"You've been thinking about Benezia, haven't you?" Shepard's soothing voice drifted across the table.

Liara blinked. That was certainly unexpected, but then again, Shepard was a very perceptive woman. "Yes," she sighed, "but it is alright. There isn't anything to say about it."

"I'm not entirely convinced, Liara, but I'll respect your privacy. You can talk to us about anything, you know that," Shepard looked Liara straight in the eyes. The word 'us' was reasserted. Liara looked down at the table to avoid Shepard's piercing gaze. The Commander's snack caught her eye.

"Is it customary for humans to make a snack of salad toppings?" Liara questioned. She wondered if she had said something wrong again; Shepard was laughing.

"No," the Commander shook her head, "it's a habit I picked up when I was very poor. It was just something to eat. Now and then I get a craving for it." She smiled as she ate another crouton.

"I see," Liara replied. "Shepard, you truly are the most unique person I have ever met."

Kaidan's mouth quirked into a wicked smirk. "Damn right she's unique. More like a sadistic weirdo." He thought back on how Shepard hid the bottle of booze in his pants. Yes, the Commander was intentionally sadistic.

"Sadistic weirdo?!" Shepard's expression was that of mock anger. "Whatever you say, mister 'extranet fetish'."

"Shepard!" the Lieutenant's cheeks began to stain red. "You know I didn't mean that!"

"Though you are right, I am a little sadistic," Shepard supplied; a devilish grin stretched across her features.

"Really?" he questioned, leaning in to her.

"Though I will admit that I prefer to be on the receiving end of said sadism," the Commander's voice lowered to a conspiratorial tone.

"Heh, so you like being roughed up, then?" He ran a shaky hand through his hair in nervous anticipation. Their faces were mere inches apart.

"Why yes, I do," came Shepard's breathy reply. She leaned back to look Kaidan over, her eyes searing a trail down the length of his body.

"Ma'am, I believe you are objectifying me," he said, his heart racing.

"Perhaps," she responded and bit her lower lip. Her hand casually reached for another crouton and coated it; Shepard ate the crouton and looked across the table.

Liara was gone.

Kaidan shook his head, trying desperately to stave off the hazy cloud of lust that settled in his mind. "I think we scared her off," he chuckled. Sometimes they went overboard in the flirting department. The Lieutenant constantly broke protocol around Shepard. Luckily, the Commander didn't seem to mind; on the contrary, she seemed to enjoy their sexual banter.

"Too hot to handle," Shepard mumbled. She grabbed her snack and gave the Lieutenant a nod before disappearing to her quarters. It was time to get some more work done.

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Liara pushed the elevator button, but it wouldn't come up fast enough. She may have been naïve, but she knew what a fetish was. And she wasn't about to sit around in that thick cloud of lust. One could practically taste the sexual tension between the Commander and Lieutenant. The young Asari decided to make herself scarce after she heard that Shepard liked to be roughed up. She would go to the engineering room and seek out someone to talk with there; human couplings were notoriously loud and she wasn't sure if the Captain's quarters were soundproofed. She'd talk to Shepard later when she didn't have coupling on her mind. Then again, humans were known to constantly have sex on their minds, especially the males. That was obvious enough from the constant sexual advances Alenko made on the Commander.

The elevator mercifully closed behind Liara as she heard Shepard begin to walk to her quarters. It slowly trekked to the engineering level, its Asari cargo unmindful of its lethargic speed. At the bottom, the doors opened and Liara stepped out to find Tali talking with the Requisitions Officer. They seemed like decently distracting company.

"I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best," the Officer addressed the Quarian.

"Thank you," Tali's metallic accent chimed throughout the bay. She noticed the Asari that approached them. There was a strange look on her face. "Hello, Liara," she said, her smile lost in her helmet, "what troubles you?"

Liara blinked. Was she truly that easy to read?

"Shepard and Alenko were getting um…" Liara felt her face turning purple as she began to blush, "they were talking about something and I decided it would be best for me to leave." That sounded evasive enough to her.

"What were they talking about?" the Requisitions Officer leaned in, eager to hear the newest chunk of gossip revolving around the couple.

"Fetishes…" she looked around the room, her discomfort growing. Better to get the whole thing out as quickly as possible and find another place to hide. "I'm not quite sure. The Lieutenant said that he didn't mean something that he did and then Shepard told him she was sadistic but preferred to be on the receiving end of the sadism. And then he said, 'So you like to be roughed up, then?' and she said yes." Her story came out in a gigantic, nervous chunk of rushed speech.

The Requisitions Officer's eyes were impossibly large. "What did he do that he didn't mean to do?" Now, _this_ was the dirt everyone wanted to know.

"I-I don't know," Liara stammered. She had the distinct feeling that she had said way more than she should have. This man had a very predatory gleam in his eyes. "I should go, I need to… do something…" the Asari scientist backed away slowly and turned, walking as fast as possible away from the precarious situation. She hoped to the goddess that what she said hadn't been damaging.

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Shepard sat in front of her computer, trying to concentrate on various reports. It was times like this when she was alone that the weight of responsibility pressed heavily on her heart. Of course, she knew that she'd have to make difficult choices when she enlisted. She also knew that she'd see her friends die. Having been in a gang, she figured she could handle it. The deeper she got into service, however, the more she questioned her grip on the situation.

Sometimes she had to make difficult decisions. Shepard was glad she had friends to see her through, but what if she lost those friends? She already lost Ash. What if she lost Kaidan too?

She swallowed as her eyes misted. Her head bowed and she ran her hands through her hair. Thinking about these things wasn't going to help. Perhaps she just needed a quick nap to refresh her mind. They would be landing on Noveria soon to pick up some recently found information at Peak 15. She needed to be at her best.

Commander Shepard fell into a restless sleep, unaware of the rumors of blindfolds and handcuffs circulating below her.


	5. Room 69

A/n: I'm back! I turned 21… so I wasn't writing for a while. You'll all leave me a birthday review, yes? I have anonymous reviews turned on… since I haven't had reason to turn them off yet… it wouldn't hurt to leave a review now, would it? :D Also, I've decided that Kaidan has really damn good looking thighs… especially in Mantis armor (still looking for Predator [L M H] for mah dear team) In fact, I'm pretty sure that Mantis/Predator is gurddurn sexy on the dudes. Also (also), I decided to divide my Noveria chapter in half because I haven't posted in a while and there's still quite a bit more that will happen on the lovely businessy planet. The Noveria ideas have taken my brain by storm, it would seem.

"I'm sorry Commander Shepard, but currently we only have one room available," the young woman at Port Hanshan's hotel desk offered the couple in front of her an appeasing smile. Certainly they would at least want the one room for themselves.

"What do you mean you only have one room available?" Shepard ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Of all times for the usually empty hotel to be full, it had to be now.

"I think what she means is that all the rooms are taken, except for one," the Lieutenant quipped.

"Hey, Kaidan," Shepard turned to look at her Lieutenant, "Shut the fuck up."

"Yes ma'am," he chuckled, his face turning red as he grinned and looked away. It was so fun and easy to rile Shepard up.

"Which room is it?" Shepard asked. Her attitude switched to all business.

"Room number sixty-nine," the hotel clerk replied, "the honeymoon suite." Somehow the young human clerk kept a straight face. On the other hand, Shepard's face twisted into a cheesy grin.

"Does its bathtub have jets?" the Commander enquired. The clerk nodded an affirmative. "Sold!" Shepard shouted, making the nearby businesspersons jump.

"Alright," the clerk smiled, "I will be able to have this room ready for you within two hours. Do either of you have any special requests?"

Shepard glanced over at the Lieutenant. He was completely spaced out. She glared at him. He was supposed to shut the fuck up and pay attention, not shut the fuck up and check out on her.

"Do you have any condoms for a huge cock the size of a small ferret?!!!" she bellowed in her loudest voice possible. "And pralines. I'm going to get my period soon, so I damn well better have some pralines!!!" She beamed at the sweet-hearted clerk. Shepard would leave a generous tip in compensation for the girl's embarrassment when she left. She turned to face the Lieutenant and one word came to mind: priceless.

"Condoms?" he whimpered. "What the hell?" Kaidan mentally scampered to collect himself. The whole room was staring at him. "Guess you can't resist my huge cock, can you? I've ruined you for all those normal ones, haven't I? I loosened the hell out of that pussy!" he replied loudly, his face reaching maximum redness.

Shepard blinked. That was unexpected. She grinned slyly at the Lieutenant.

"I'm not even mad; I'm impressed. Good job," she drawled and sauntered up to him. Her arm snaked itself around his waist. Shepard turned and looked at the blushing clerk. "Sorry dear, we're a new couple. You know how new couples get. We'll be back within a few hours." She waved and dragged the hapless Lieutenant back to the ship.

"Shepard," he mumbled, "we're not really a couple."

"Nobody will believe us if we said we weren't, now would they?" she dryly replied. The Commander was right.

"Shepard," Kaidan's mumbling took on a whining tone, "everyone's staring at my crotch."

"Of course they are, ferret," she grinned wickedly and slapped him on his unsuspecting ass, earning a very unmasculine squeak.

The should-be couple reached the elevator and took the awkward ride down. When they stepped out, Kaidan found instant relief that nobody in this area of Port Hanshan heard any of Shepard's bellowing. They silently walked to the _Normandy_ to allow Shepard to announce whatever she had planned to her crew. While waiting through the decontamination scan, Kaidan wondered how Shepard would embarrass him next. He watched her walk up to the nearest intercom button.

"Listen up, _Normandy_," her voice was audible to all, "I was going to get enough hotel rooms for everyone on the ship. The bad news is that there is only one room open. I have taken this room; it is room number sixty-nine. If you need something from me in the next few days…" she trailed off for a second, realizing she didn't want an open door policy this time, "knock first."

"That being said," she continued, "I will not force you all to stay here on the ship while business is being conducted. You are all free to do as you see fit under two conditions. First, that you behave properly and don't make jackasses of yourselves. I will leave your ass here on the station if I see a reason to do so. Secondly, I ask that you be ready to leave at twenty minutes notice. Once Mommy and Daddy's business is complete here and I feel like leaving, we will leave." Shepard removed her hand from the intercom button and turned to her Lieutenant.

"Get your shit; we're leaving," she said, smacking him on the arm. The Commander strode over to her quarters and packed a small bag with anything she felt she'd need in the next few days. Like always, the business on Noveria was to be conducted in a shrewd manner; this time the Spectre would be prepared. Kaidan would be helpful if they found themselves in a tough spot. When the man was in business mode, he could be a smooth negotiator. She just had to make sure not to screw with his head first.

Shepard walked toward the airlock where Kaidan waited for her. Even the Commander had to admit that the Lieutenant looked good in his Predator armor. He leaned casually against the doorframe, his legs crossed at the ankles. A bag was slung over his shoulder; the man looked like he had been waiting for a while.

"Man waits for woman," she dryly remarked, a wry grin spread across her face.

"Of course," he said. Kaidan uncrossed his legs and followed Shepard to the airlock.

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The ride to Peak 15 was rather uneventful. Without the presence of the geth, the Commander and Lieutenant simply drove around the winding trail of the Aleutsk Valley to reach the facility.

"It's almost like we're having a normal drive," Kaidan observed. He glanced over at Shepard with a quick smile before turning his eyes back to the snow-covered road.

"Say what?" Shepard's expression grew sly. Her hand lazily drifted over to the Mako's rocket launcher button. The Spectre pressed the button and the rover's main canon fired directly into the mountain in front of the traveling pair. Shepard giggled with glee at the wonderful explosion of rock and snow.

"Ok then," Kaidan chuckled. The Commander's delight was contagious.

Above them, the mountain began to rumble. Kaidan stopped the rover and furrowed his brow. Something felt wrong. His suspicions were confirmed when the rumbling increased in volume. An avalanche was headed straight for them. He stomped the accelerator to get away from the rapidly tumbling snow.

The Mako whipped around the corner and burst into the mountain tunnel, narrowly missing being demolished by the avalanche. The Lieutenant continued to accelerate as Shepard bounced in her seat and cheered. With the increase in speed, the rover burst out of the tunnel; it snagged the ledge and went airborne in a spiral. The unbuckled Shepard gripped her seat with all her might as the Lieutenant righted the Mako. It slammed back into the ground, right side up. The force of the impact threw Shepard face first into Kaidan's lap.

"Shepard," the Lieutenant said as he continued to drive, "I understand you are an adrenaline junkie of sorts, but that might have been a little extreme." His face was drawn into what Shepard called the 'dad face'. Kaidan's brows slanted downward and his forehead wrinkled just above the bridge of his nose; his jaw clenched into a stern line.

Shepard groaned and sat up as the Mako coasted to a gentle stop in front of the Peak 15 garage. It appeared as if the facility was in the middle of repairs.

"I think I split my lip on your balls," the Commander said as her hand moved to catch the blood that dripped down her chin.

"Let me see," he sighed and put the rover in park. "Oh, wow," he mumbled to himself, grateful for his armor's protective cup. Kaidan snagged his glove in his teeth and pulled it off as his other hand reached for some medigel. He gently applied the soothing gel to Shepard's lower lip.

Her eyes closed to slits as her Lieutenant's thumb trekked across her lip. The medigel tingled on contact as it healed the split.

Yet his thumb lingered where it was.

The Lieutenant's heart pounded as he leaned in slowly; his eyes became hooded to match Shepard's. Her sweet smelling breath fanned across his face, beaconing him to kiss her. His hand slid away from her mouth to grasp the back of her head. Like a drowning man, the Lieutenant was helpless against the waves of confusion that battered him.

The garage in front of them opened with a crash.

They jumped back from each other and Kaidan brought the Mako into the garage. Exiting the rover, they were met by a human scientist. The awkward moment was forgotten; now was the time for business.

"Hello!" the scientist had to shout over the sounds of construction, "as you can see, the facility is undergoing repairs. Sorry for the mess. The files are down in the hotlabs at the moment. It's much quieter there." He turned and motioned them to follow.

The sound of the marines' footsteps was drowned out by the nearby construction as they followed the scientist to the hotlabs. Even the multiple elevator rides were noisy, though admittedly, it was much better to hear the noise of construction than the noise of the damaged facility creaking like it did last time. The scientist led them to a desk in the hotlabs. Many empty cups lay on the desk haphazardly; a computer stood proudly amongst the debris. The smell of old coffee permeated the air.

"Our best hacker has been working on these decrypted files for days," the Scientist wrung his hands, "I was hoping that we'd have it ready for viewing when you arrived, but that doesn't seem to be the case. This is rather embarrassing." He offered his fearsome company a nervous smile. The Spectre was scary enough, but her boyfriend looked equally terrifying. The scientist was sincerely worried. What would they do? He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or shaking when Commander Shepard flashed a toothy grin at the man next to her.

"Would the nerd like to come out and play?" she cooed.

"Please?" he asked, giving her his best impression of a begging puppy. The armor he wore and the amount of firearms strapped to his body made said impression look more ridiculous than usual.

"Ok," Shepard said in between laughs, "go ahead."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Kaidan leaped into action. He sat down at the weathered desk and briskly brushed off all the empty coffee cups; a second later, his omni tool flashed to life. The Lieutenant became a blur of typing.

"He's a nerd at heart," Shepard interrupted the scientist's obvious staring. "Just because he looks like a meathead doesn't mean he's dumb." She kicked an empty cup at Kaidan. He was too distracted to notice. Shepard chuckled. The Lieutenant's focus was always perfect when he had a task to do. It was quite a shame that his technical talents were overlooked in favor of his biotics. Sure, his biotic abilities were incredibly strong for a human, but there was something special about seeing Kaidan's smile when he worked with electronics. It was certainly more inviting than the cold, detached look he wore when he used his biotics. She looked up at the Lieutenant and decided that she adored his nerdy smile.

"Done!" Kaidan exclaimed. "Now, let's see what we've got here."

Shepard walked over to where her Lieutenant sat and squatted next to the chair. She leaned in to him to get a better view of the screen. It appeared as if the decrypted file contained many sub-files. Kaidan clicked on the first one, eager to see what information they may have uncovered.

A picture of an asari in a pinstriped suit appeared on the screen.

"This must be from when Benezia was here," Shepard mumbled, "open the next file." The Lieutenant nodded and clicked. Their jaws dropped at what appeared.

"That is…" Kaidan trailed off, not sure if he should be turned on or turned off.

"What the FUCK?!!!" Shepard screamed at the computer. "I wanted information, not pictures of a nip-slip from a thousand old asari matriarch!!!"

Wordlessly, Kaidan began to open the rest of the files. All of them contained some form of perverted hidden-camera photo of the late Lady Benezia in her final days in the hotlabs. He looked on in awe; apparently the asari didn't get wrinkles or any other overt signs of aging. At the same time, the pictures were of a thousand-or-so year old woman.

"Kind of gross, but kind of hot…" he murmured, unable to affix his eyes anywhere but the screen.

Shepard huffed, slapped him on the arm, and stood up to leave. Though a tomboy, the Spectre sometimes had moments where the musings of men frustrated her. If Kaidan knew what was good for him, he would stop making comments about the asari matriarch. The woman was dead, for God's sake! She paused as a thought came to her mind.

"Kaidan," she addressed her Lieutenant in her business voice, "please delete those photos. It would be disrespectful to the dead to keep them around."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he replied and immediately began to erase them all, "I agree." A few seconds later, he turned around and stood up. The photos were no more.

"Thank you for notifying us about the decrypted files," Shepard addressed the scientist with a slight nod, "unfortunately, the files themselves were not useful to our case and have been deleted, due to the nature of said files. I promise you that it was nothing of corporate or scientific significance."

"Alright then," the scientist replied with hesitation, "is there anything else you want from here?"

"At the moment, no," Shepard's gaze grew distant as she thought, "we need to get going so that we reach Port Hanshan before nightfall."

The scientist nodded and escorted them to the garage. He watched the first human Spectre and her Lieutenant with keen eyes. He observed the Lieutenant open the door for her as if they were on a date; he even gave Commander Shepard a hand as she stepped up into the rover. The scientist nodded to the other man and watched as he entered the rover and sealed the door. Through the front windshield, he saw the couple arguing. It brought a smile to his face.

"Oh, to be young and in love," the scientist wistfully smiled and retreated into the confines of Peak 15.

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"I don't give a damn!" Kaidan spat, "put the seatbelt on! Do you want to split your lip again?" He knew he was out of line, but Shepard's safety was a priority. Just because there were no geth prowling around the valley didn't mean that they wouldn't run into trouble. And he'd be damned if he let Shepard ride in the Mako again without a seatbelt.

"You know you want my face in your lap," Shepard glared at him. The Lieutenant sputtered for a second.

"I know you want your face in my lap, but save it for later," he quipped as he reached over and buckled Shepard up.

He backed the Mako out of the garage and drove down the winding, snow-covered trail, content that he had silenced the rebellious woman beside him. Now was not the time for her to act up. His eyes took a quick peek at Shepard; she sat with her arms and legs crossed, a scowl etched across her features. The Lieutenant couldn't help but smile at the sight. Admittedly, Shepard was adorable when she pouted, though he would never tell her. It would give her an unfair advantage if she knew. His eyes turned back to the road.

"Let's not tell Liara about those photos," Shepard's voice sounded to his right.

"Agreed," he quietly supplied. There was no use in letting the young asari know the indignities that were wrought upon her mother in her final days. The indoctrination was bad enough.

A silent truce fell over the pair. The seatbelt incident was over but somehow the air wasn't cleared between the two. The Mako's engines droned on as the Lieutenant guided it to Port Hanshan. Shepard sighed as she looked out the window at the bleak landscape. The monotonous ride soon lulled her into a deep sleep.

They would be back at sunset.


	6. Vodka

A/n: It's back! It's rewritten! It's been TOO LONG! I am so sorry for the delay, and appreciate all that bared with me while I tried to find my writing. I apologize for making an author's note that took up the place of chapter 6. I figured it was better for the readers to know I had an issue rather than waiting forever. I truly appreciate all the positive feedback my writing has received. It makes the experience all the more rewarding :D

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The Mako rumbled smoothly into Port Hanshan just as Pax was in the middle of setting over the frigid planet's horizon. Shepard heard the garage door open and felt the terrain change to smooth concrete; she knew she had to wake up. But the Mako was so warm and wonderful and the lighting of Pax was soft and soothing. She inhaled deeply to the smell of the rover's upholstery, gun cleaner, and a hint of something familiar and comforting, yet unnamed. Shepard scrunched her eyes and decided to play 'name that smell'. Kaidan turned off the rover and reached over to gently wake Shepard from her nap; inquisitive eyes greeted him.

"It's you," she said, her voice soft from sleep. She sniffed him lightly then twisted in her seat to pop her back.

"What's me?" he asked. Kaidan tried to not eye the woman in front of him as she thrust her breasts out to stretch.

"You," she replied, not caring to elaborate.

Shepard inhaled deeply again, this time privately savoring her Lieutenant's scent.

Home.

Since when did she associate the way he smelled with home? What was home like anyway? She'd never had a home before.

Reality came rushing back to Shepard when a blast of cold air slapped her across the face. Kaidan's scent lingered for a brief moment then left as the cold air brought the scents of the foreign garage. It was time to leave.

She exited the Mako and shut the impossibly tough door with a heave. Shepard's feet carried her over to the garage window where the Lieutenant waited. There was something unreadable in his somber expression as he gazed at Noveria's bleak terrain. Though the Commander couldn't begin to guess what he was thinking, she was very aware that he had mentally checked out on her.

For a moment, Shepard contented herself with watching him. The light of the setting Pax illuminated his Mediterranean features. Interestingly enough, the hair she once thought to be dark brown stood out as a shiny black. He turned his eyes to meet hers. They reminded her of sun-brewed iced tea that had been left out all day. Their eyes remained in contact; she figured out what seemed to be bothering him.

"Your head hurts today," she mumbled, her hand reaching behind his head to the base of his skull.

He nodded briefly. Shepard's hand gently massaged the place where his implants lay; his eyes slid shut in response.

"I'll be fine," he opened his eyes and smiled at her.

Shepard furrowed her brow, completely unconvinced by his declaration. She stepped back, put her hands on her hips and waited for him to explain himself.

"Look," Kaidan sighed and leaned in, "you have a lot to worry about right now. I'm fine. It's not bad enough to slow me down." His arms reached around her shoulders as he drew her into a quick hug.

"Kaidan, you're a sweetheart," she smiled.

Hooking her arm in his, she led him to the door. Shepard glanced back at the garage. In her peripheral, she saw that her Lieutenant held both of their bags.

"Seriously," she said, leaning in to hug him, "you're a sweetheart."

His response was little more than a shy nod.

They ambled through the main plaza, arm in arm. Shepard inhaled deeply as they passed one of the many zen-like water sculptures. A warm mist gently rose from the decorative rocks, reminding the Commander of a sauna. She supposed the water sculptures weren't just for show; with how cold and dry the atmosphere on Noveria was, the sculptures seemed to be functional as warm humidifiers. Warm, moist air in the midst of a wintry setting was definitely something that all species could agree on. Shepard nodded to herself as they passed by the public extranet terminals to reach the elevator to the hotel lobby.

The elevator doors closed behind them with a light swoosh, the movement stirring up the air. Slowly, the elevator trekked to its destination. Shepard shifted her weight in impatience. They should have taken the stairs.

She blinked, realizing that not once in her observations of Port Hanshan had she seen a complete stairwell.

Wasn't this a safety hazard? What if the building caught on fire?

No, the building was made of stone. It couldn't catch on fire. But if it was gassed for some reason, perhaps by an 'experiment gone awry', then the elevators would be a major safety hazard. In fact, they'd be turned into a…

"Gas chamber of death," Shepard mumbled.

"Ma'am?" Kaidan blinked and recoiled slightly from the woman on his arm.

"Just thinking out loud," she smiled and detached her arm from his.

The elevator doors opened to reveal the hotel's main lobby. There, among the numerous, scurrying business persons, sat a familiar face. Shepard jogged over to him, nearly tripping in her haste.

"Mr. Qui'in!" she beamed, "how have you been, sir?"

The turian looked up from his reading.

"Shepard. It's always a pleasure," he inclined his head toward the seat in front of him, "please, sit down. Let us talk."

She looked over at Kaidan. His brows were drawn inward, causing a set of wrinkles to form between his squinting eyes. The Lieutenant had the overall countenance of one who was queasy. Shepard shuffled over to him and placed her hand on his arm. It was almost frightening how his headaches could quickly turn into full-blown migraines from just one thing that triggered it.

"What's wrong? You're not fine, are you?" she mumbled, peering up into his eyes.

"It's fine, I think I'll just go and try to sleep it off," Kaidan's voice came out strained as if it was too loud for his own ears.

"Alright," Shepard replied and reached up to gently hug him, "some time alone in the dark might help. I'll be here for a while. Send me a message if you need anything."

He nodded in response and for a brief moment, he wondered if the movement was going to kill him. Turning, he walked toward the staircase. Each footfall reverberated throughout his skull as if it was underwater; perhaps the pressure that was squeezing his brain into oblivion would be let out by way of his ears popping. He peered up at the daunting staircase and steeled himself against the nausea that climbed its way up his throat. Slowly, his leaden legs trudged up the stairs as his arms gripped the railing with all their might.

Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko had faced off against a race of sentient machines. He'd committed mutiny to help save the galaxy from certain destruction. He'd become proficient at killing; as a biotic, he had to visualize exactly what he would do to the enemy before he did it. These things were of little consequence.

No, it was days like this that tested him beyond anything he'd ever faced.

* * *

Shepard watched her Lieutenant until he disappeared from view. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time; in fact, he seemed to have migrainesless often than when they'd first met. Perhaps the substantial increase in his power and training had something to do with it, but Shepard couldn't be too sure. Whatever it was, she hoped that someday he could be migraine free. He certainly deserved as much. She turned to Lorik Qui'in with an apologetic smile.

"He gets migraines from time to time. His biotic implants cause them," she explained. Shepard drew up a chair and sat down across from the turian.

"I certainly wouldn't want to keep you, especially if he is unwell…" Qui'in trailed off, unsure of whether to refer to the man who had left as Shepard's mate or not. According to the recent news vids, Shepard and her subordinate had some form of intimate relationship. Whether or not they were mates was another matter entirely. Did humans even use the term 'mate'?

"No Mr. Qui'in," Shepard sighed, "it is better for me to leave him alone for a while. My presence would probably make things worse. I'm sure I couldn't possibly be quiet enough to be of any help for him."

He nodded and signaled a human waitress over.

"I'll have my usual and," he motioned to Shepard, "please give her whatever a classy, sophisticated woman of high standing would drink." The waitress briefly considered the Spectre, nodded, and left.

"Mr. Qui'in," Shepard laughed, "I am involved in some very dirty business at times. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself classy or sophisticated."

"As am I," he replied, "but I find it rather easy to appear so, especially when the rest of the galaxy seems to revel in atrocity."

"Anoleis?" she arched a brow at the turian's thinly veiled jab at the late administrator.

"Indeed," he replied, "I must thank you, Spectre. Had you not convinced me to testify to the board about Anoleis' corruption, I would not have been named the next administrator."

The waitress returned and placed the drinks on the table. Administrator Qui'in's drink was of a navy hue, and no matter how hard the frazzled human tried to pronounce it, she always ended up butchering the name. For Commander Shepard, she chose a fine champagne of the most inoffensive, mellow flavor possible. It seemed to be a hit with the well-to-do that frequented the hotel bar. She just hoped that the Spectre would have similar tastes.

"Is this acceptable, ma'am?" the waitress asked, warily eyeing the heavily armed, beautiful woman in front of her.

"Yes," Shepard nodded, not bothering to take a sip, "champagne is always lovely. Thank you."

The waitress nodded in return and left, grateful that her selection was a success.

"Did you know, Commander, that turians make toasts on their beverages much like humans do?" Qui'in inquired, his beverage in hand. "I believe we should toast, then, to our enemies. May we always have the better hand of cards."

"To the downfall of our enemies," Shepard chuckled, a feral grin spread across her face.

They clinked glasses and drank.

"So," Shepard began, "how did this promotion come about?"

"It's quite a long story," Qui'in replied, "but I'd be more than willing to share if you have the time."

Shepard thought of Kaidan and his migraine. Though she wanted to go to him, she knew that there was nothing she could do to ease his pain other than stay out of the way. Perhaps he was sleeping. She certainly hoped so. Her eyes turned to the turian across from her. Yes, spending time with Qui'in would be a good idea.

* * *

Three hours passed and though the buzzed Spectre had her company manners on, she found Lorik Qui'in to be quite an interesting individual. Shepard was aware that he most likely had his company manners on as well. Regardless, she felt that there was a mutual respect between them; if she ever had future dealings with Noveria, she was sure that Qui'in would be as cooperative as possible.

She blinked as she glanced at her omni-tool. It was flashing. Motioning for a break in the conversation, Shepard accessed her message. It was from Kaidan and it contained one word:

Vodka.

"That was my Lieutenant," she sighed, "so I must take my leave."

"Please send my regards. Don't worry about the tab; I'll take care of it," Qui'in replied.

"Thank you, Mr. Qui'in," Shepard shook the turian's hand.

"You're welcome. Good evening, Spectre," he replied with a nod.

Shepard stood up and exhaled as the reality of how much she'd had to drink hit her full force. She shook her head and strode over to the bar. Unsure of exactly what her Lieutenant wanted, Shepard purchased a full bottle of vodka. Any extra left over was simply more for her to add to her private stash of contraband.

Thus satisfied, she headed to the room. She tried her best to appear sober; after telling her crew to behave, it would be very bad for her to appear drunk in public. Finally, she reached her destination.

The door opened to reveal a very lavish, dimly lit room. In its center lay a single bed that contained Kaidan. He lay on his stomach, his head sandwiched by pillows. Shepard removed the bottle of vodka from its bag and slowly approached the bed. Was he sleeping?

His hand reached out from under the covers to grab the bottle. Slowly, Kaidan rolled over and sat up. He closed his eyes for a brief moment while he unscrewed the top to the bottle. The cool glass of the rim touched his lips and he sighed in indecision. He let out an anguished groan as he realized there was no other way. Tilting back the bottle, Kaidan guzzled as much as he could stand before wrenching it from his lips.

"Okay, I have two questions," the slack jawed Shepard began, "What the hell was that all about? And…" she trailed off, eyeing his bare torso. Was he naked? Really?

As if he read Shepard's mind, Kaidan flipped back the covers. He then took another gigantic swig of the potent alcohol.

"Well, you're wearing pants, so that answers one question…" Shepard mumbled. She mentally noted that said pants lay very low on his hips. Her eyes widened.

"Lieutenant, I am led to believe that you aren't wearing any underdrawers," she drawled and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Nine times out of ten, I'm not," he replied then took yet another swig of the vodka.

Oh, that was some interesting information. Shepard was drunk enough to let her gaze linger on his finely toned body and sinfully low pants. Though her career choice had her interacting with muscle-bound marines on a daily basis, she always found herself appraising the vast array of body types so readily available for her perusal. Shepard, the muscle connoisseur, definitely would rank her Lieutenant's body in her top ten that she'd had the pleasure of viewing. In fact, he looked positively…

"Delicious…" she murmured, her eyes very happy to follow the trail of hair that led from his bellybutton to his navy-clad unmentionables.

"Huh?" he questioned the Commander's random outburst.

"That vodka looks delicious," she replied, not missing a beat. It was fortunate for Shepard that her Lieutenant was too occupied with the bottle to catch her staring. The fact that he seemed so intent on getting himself plastered was odd enough.

"You're reminding me of myself at the moment," Shepard gestured toward the bottle, "care to tell me why?"

"Painkillers," Kaidan mumbled, "if I'm trashed, it'll stop hurting."

"That's pretty bad," she cringed.

He considered her for a moment then handed the bottle off; Shepard took a generous swallow and handed it back. An idea suddenly came to her and she quickly exited the room as he again downed more of the bottle's contents. In less than a minute, the triumphant Commander returned with a bucket of ice in her hands. She placed it on the nightstand next to the bed and turned to grab her bag.

"So, what triggered it this time?" Shepard asked as she opened her bag to retrieve a tank top and a pair of yoga pants, both in black. The Commander ducked into the bathroom to change.

"The lighting change from the elevator to the hotel lobby," he replied, his eyes wandering around the room as he waited for her to reenter the room.

"It happens that easily then?" her voice was muffled through the cracked door.

"Sometimes, yes," Kaidan allowed himself to fall back onto the bed. The alcohol was thankfully beginning to numb the pain. "How is Qui'in?" he asked, regretful that he missed a possibly important conversation.

"He's rather charming. Handsome, I guess… for a turian," Shepard appeared in the doorway with an armful of armor and weapons, "gave me so much champagne that I feel like I'm going to fizz over. But he is so charming. I may have even gone home with him." Shepard chuckled at her joke and set her armor down on the small table in the corner of the room, her movements overly cautious as if the equipment were made of glass.

"Shepard, do you know what a cloaca is?" Kaidan spat, completely missing the joke. He didn't like the idea of anyone, acquaintance or not, making moves on his Commander. What bothered him the most was that he wasn't there to watch out for her. He was sure that Shepard could easily watch out for herself, but it was the principle of the matter that got him. Qui'in didn't deserve Shepard. Nobody deserved Shepard, and he'd make damned sure that somebody was looking out for her.

"Ew," Shepard laughed, "no, I guess you're right. It would be too awkward to hook up with a turian anyway. I guess the alcohol's gotten my mind in the gutter." She grabbed her sidearm and moseyed over to the bed.

"Expecting trouble?" he asked and motioned to her sidearm.

"Only if you're naughty," she replied, placing the gun on the table and sitting on the bed.

Kaidan inhaled sharply at Shepard's remark.

"You keep talking like that and you're going to have trouble," he breathed as he watched her cross her legs and put a pillow in her lap.

Shepard chuckled and motioned for him to lay his head on top of the pillow. Kaidan wasn't sure what she had in mind, but he wasn't about to protest. Gingerly, he allowed his head to fall back onto her pillow-covered lap. The migraine was now bearable but only by a small margin. The Lieutenant closed his eyes, content that he was able to at least function. He hated having to drink to get rid of a migraine.

"I hate having to drink my migraines away," he murmured, unsure of why he had the urge to explain his actions to Shepard.

She simply shushed him and placed her iced fingers on his forehead. Pressing firmly, Shepard's cold fingers massaged in a circular motion. The Lieutenant below her sighed in relief.

"And that's what the ice was for," she whispered, not slowing in her ministrations.

Shepard continued to massage her Lieutenant's forehead until her hands warmed up. She then iced them again and repeated the process, unmindful of the raw pain of her fingers being continually subjected to sudden temperature changes. The Commander would keep this up as long as it took for her Lieutenant to feel better. He was worth it.

Then again, the alcohol was very helpful in making the pain bearable as well.

* * *

Over time, the hotel's temperature control unit pumped out cold air until the Commander wondered if it was broken. Shepard looked down at the man whose head lay in her lap and recalled how often she caught him wiping sweat from his brow when he worked at his terminal on the Normandy. The room's temperature must have been his doing.

She watched as her Lieutenant sat up, an expression of relief etched into his features. Her hands reached for the bottle of vodka; it was time to celebrate a small victory. Just a small swig would do the trick to warm her up. Smiling, Shepard tilted the bottle back and drank.

Kaidan watched the woman in front of him and waited for her to put the bottle back down. He didn't know what he was going to do; he just had to do something. Catching her gaze, the Lieutenant leaned in, his hand reaching out to hesitantly hover over the side of her face in indecision. For a moment, their breath mingled as they stood on the precipice of something new.

The dam broke, a static shock jolting the couple as their lips met. Mouths opened and his tongue darted out to taste hers. Shepard crawled forward to straddle her Lieutenant's lap as she drunkenly plundered his mouth. Warm hands slithered up the hem of the back of her shirt in an attempt to remove it; the intoxicated Shepard was all the while unaware.

Kaidan's hands fumbled with the clasp of her bra; after a failed attempt, he leaned into Shepard to get a better angle. His weight pushed them over into a drunken tangle of limbs. Lazily, he stretched himself out over the woman below him and rested his head on her shoulder. Shepard's arms and legs remained wrapped around him, providing the couple with an accurate impersonation of a felled tree trapping a hapless koala bear.

They groaned in unison, both unwilling to move. Wordlessly, they fell asleep.

Perhaps they'd remember where they left off in the morning.


	7. Seven!

A/n: Happy October! Again, I wanted to thank everyone for reading and appreciate the support that people have given to my work. A quick note: This chapter pushes the limits of the M rating (which seems to be happening more and more frequently with me -.-). There is nothing sexually explicit, but there are very heavy implications. *sigh* It's tough from going to writing all explicit fics to having to be rating conscious.

* * *

Shepard was vodka.

At least, that was the first thing she told herself when she woke up.

The Commander willed her eyes to open. Sparks danced across her vision as the room spun uncontrollably. Nausea quickly set in; Shepard stumbled out of the bed as fast as possible to run to the bathroom and retch into the toilet.

What happened last night?

She leaned her head on the toilet seat, the cool surface soothing the heat on her sweaty forehead. Slowly, pieces of what happened the previous night came back to her. She talked with Qui'in and had a lot of champagne. She went back to the hotel room and she and Kaidan…

Oh God.

Did they have sex?

Shepard closed her eyes as a hangover headache of massive proportions set in. Through the pain, she tried to remember all of what happened. They kissed. She sat in his lap. But, all of her clothes were still intact. The Commander winced as her headache intensified.

She leaned back against the wall, something small poking her in the back. Shepard closed her eyes and reached behind her to feel what caused her discomfort. It was a hook from her bra. The article of clothing remained on her body with a lone hook; vaguely, Shepard remembered her Lieutenant's hands fumbling at the clasp in the dark. Shepard rehooked the bra.

Kaidan medicated his migraine with copious amounts of vodka. He must have been completely trashed with how much he drank; Shepard remembered how he collapsed on top of her body without making further attempt to proceed with undressing her. There was no way that her wasted Lieutenant was in control of his actions the previous night. Hell, he probably wouldn't even remember what happened when he woke up. So where did that put her?

Shepard closed her eyes and bowed her head in shame. She had almost taken advantage of her drunk Lieutenant. For her to do such a thing to him reminded her of her past too much.

Shepard wasn't that woman anymore.

The ashamed Commander slunk back to the bed, her weight pressing onto the mattress. It was enough to rouse the bed's other occupant. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned.

"Your turn," Shepard mumbled and laid back down on the bed.

Kaidan blinked a few times then bolted for the bathroom. In the meantime, Shepard rolled over to face the nightstand. She eyed the former bucket of ice and absently wondered if it wouldn't be too disgusting to drink the water in it. Getting up to get water was out of the question. Curious, the Commander reached over to open the door on the nightstand. A lazy smile stretched across her face; the nightstand was a fridge. There were bottles of water in it.

She grabbed two bottles and placed them on the tabletop as she felt the bed shift with the added weight of her Lieutenant. Shepard brought out her omnitool and began to type a message to notify the crew for their time of departure.

"You think we can leave in six hours?" she asked.

His response was an affirmative grunt.

"Okay," Shepard murmured, "I'll set an alarm for five hours from now for us." She sent off the message. The crew would have ample time to prepare for departure. Her omnitool fell to the floor as she grabbed a bottle of water and curled herself into a fetal position. Chills wracked through her body, causing her to shiver.

Kaidan rolled over on his side and scooted his body to a position where he could curl it around Shepard's smaller frame. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed himself flush against her. The Lieutenant began to rub her arms when her shivers turned into shaking. He buried his face in her hair and thought about last night.

Did she remember what happened?

No, if she had remembered, she would have said something or made some kind of indication that they almost had sex. God only knew how much she had to drink before she reached the room. Kaidan snuggled closer to her, ashamed at what he almost did. Shepard didn't deserve him drunkenly slobbering all over her.

"I don't think that I drank water before I went to sleep," Shepard interrupted the Lieutenant's thoughts, the sound of her teeth chattering together accenting her speech.

Kaidan knew she didn't have any water before she slept; he had her pinned down with his body when they fell asleep. Her legs had been wrapped tightly around his hips. The thought set his thoughts on fire. He continued to rub Shepard's arms in an attempt to warm her.

"So, why did you save the council?" Kaidan asked, hoping to distract himself from the idea that they were spooning. He knew that Shepard resented the council and believed that they were holding humanity back.

"Because I wanted them to owe me a favor," she replied, "because I wanted them to feel bad about how they've treated us. I wanted to be able to throw it in their faces if they ever again questioned me. You couldn't do that with a new council. No, this time I am the one in control."

The Lieutenant froze. Shepard's reasoning was horrifying, yet sound.

"So, you want to tell the council what to do," he murmured, "Wouldn't that make you a dictator of sorts?"

"Not really," Shepard snuggled closer to her Lieutenant, "I just want to get my shit done without them impeding my progress."

Kaidan stifled a groan as she unwittingly pressed her rear into his crotch.

"Yeah, they were getting rather frustrating," he ground out through clenched teeth.

"Mhm," she nodded slightly then closed her eyes.

Kaidan drew he covers up about them and closed his eyes. They had five hours to sleep this hangover off.

* * *

A series of melodic beeps roused the Commander from her sleep. She reached down and turned off the alarm on her omnitool. It was time to get moving, though Shepard was loathed to do so; Kaidan was so warm and snuggly.

"I don't want to get up," she mumbled and buried the side of her face into the pillow.

Her Lieutenant grunted in response. Sometime during the course of their sleep, his hand had drifted down to hold her hip. His sleepy mind ran in hazy circles as his subconscious whispered thoughts to him. Their bodies were so close. He could have her. All he needed to do was slip both of their pants down then...

Kaidan's eyes shot open as he quickly bolted upright. He mentally berated himself for his less than honorable thoughts.

Shepard sighed at the sudden blast of cold air at her back. Begrudgingly, she sat up, having found the incentive to get ready for departure.

"I get the shower first," she said as she sat up and gathered her things. Shepard retreated to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Her clothes clung to her body as she tried to remove them; the drunken night's sweat permeated the normally breathable material.

The sooner Shepard got clean, the better she would feel.

She turned the water on and stuck her foot under the spray to test the temperature. After a short moment, it was to her preference. The Commander stepped in, closed the curtain, and began to wash herself. Her scalp felt disgustingly greasy.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Yeah?" the Commander shouted above the sound of the shower.

"Can I go pee?" Kaidan asked through the door.

"Sure," Shepard replied and barely suppressed a giggle. The battle hardened marine had just sounded like a little kid. It was too cute.

She heard the door close and her mind traveled to the gutter. Shepard put her soap down and crept over to the curtain's edge. The devil inside her wanted to sneak a peek at her Lieutenant's hardware. A peek couldn't hurt, could it?

Kaidan was glad Shepard let him in; his bladder was about to explode. He heard the sounds of her showering. She was very much naked behind that curtain and he was very much curious. Maybe he could take a peek at her. The Lieutenant leaned over from his stance at the toilet and put his hand on the curtain. Was he really going to do this? Ever so carefully he drew the curtain back, hoping that Shepard wouldn't notice.

Their shocked gazes met, their faces mere inches apart.

"What are you doing?" Shepard questioned.

"What are you doing?" Kaidan countered.

"Peeking…" Shepard blushed and trailed off, "but what are you doing?"

"Peeking…" he answered, completely embarrassed.

"Oh," Shepard replied and shut the curtain. She continued to shower.

"Permission to act like this isn't a big deal?" Kaidan asked as he flushed the toilet.

"Granted," the Commander said. After that, she heard him leave the bathroom. So, they were trying to peek at each other. Shepard laughed outright at the hilariousness of it all. Her laugh cut off when she realized that getting caught trying to peek at her Lieutenant's shotgun made her forget to peek. Shepard sighed; perhaps this was for the best. She didn't need to see more of his body than she had seen last night.

But, there was a difference between need and want; Shepard felt the latter.

* * *

Forty minutes later found the duo ready to depart for the Normandy. Shepard glanced over at the table and noticed two wrapped boxes on it. How long had those been there?

She grabbed one of the boxes and opened it; pralines were inside. The Commander chuckled and put it in her bag to save for another day. She eyed the other box, knowing what must be in it.

Casually, Kaidan grabbed the wrapped box of condoms and put it in his bag.

"You know, those are going to be huge," she quirked her brow.

"I'm aware of that," he said as he finished tying his bag shut, "Why are you telling me this? I thought you peeked."

"I was too startled to remember to peek," Shepard replied.

"Actually, I was too," Kaidan chuckled and looked away, his face turning red.

If Shepard hadn't known her Lieutenant better, she would have called bullshit on his large claim. Instead, she linked arms with him and made her way down to the hotel lobby to check out. Perhaps another time she would get a chance to fulfill her desire to peek.

The lobby doors opened automatically and Shepard caught sight of the girl that had checked them in the previous day. They exchanged a smile as the Commander checked out. She made sure to give the girl a generous tip.

"I don't care if you're allowed to accept these or not," Shepard looked the girl straight in the eye, "you deserve it for putting up with my shenanigans."

The young woman's eyes got huge as she looked at the large tip the Spectre offered her. Slowly she shook her head.

"Let me guess, you have a 'refuse three times then accept the tip' policy, don't you?" the Commander asked, her expression going soft.

The girl nodded hesitantly.

"Okay," Shepard nodded, "just take it then. We don't have to play the polite refusal game. Have a spa day or something. Take your friends shopping. I don't know." She smiled at the teen.

"Thank you so much, ma'am," the girl replied quietly.

"Take care," Shepard nodded then turned to leave, her Lieutenant in tow.

The young girl at the hotel watched the couple leave. Commander Shepard was nothing like the vids portrayed. She was edgy yet relaxed. She was very kind as well. The teen watched the Commander smile up at the man on her arm and sighed. Truly, it was a fairytale of its own right; Shepard had a tall, dark and handsome man to stay by her side through her perilous journeys and to make passionate love to her while the nebulas illuminated the room. There was danger, excitement, romance and lust in everything they did. Undoubtedly, they were soul mates. The hotel girl sighed and got back to work. She really needed to stop reading romantic fiction.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean by 'Murray isn't up yet'?!" Shepard spat at the unfortunate marine in front of her.

"Ma'am, he was passed out when I left, ma'am!" he saluted as quickly as he could. This woman was terrifying.

"Look," she sighed, "it's not your fault. I can't fucking kill the messenger. Dismissed."

The scared man saluted and ran off to a dark corner of the ship. Murray was so dead when he got back. He almost felt sorry for the guy.

Shepard leaned against the inner doorframe of the airlock, her arms crossed as she waited for Corporal Murray to enter the ship.

He was over an hour late.

Kaidan stood next to Shepard, adopting the same agitated posture as the Commander.

Five minutes later found Shepard still glaring at the airlock. Her stance didn't change as she heard the decon scan begin. The door opened to reveal Murray, his appearance disheveled and dirty. His face was covered in small, red blotches and his hair clung to his sweaty brow in greasy clumps.

Shepard's eyes landed on him, her body posture unchanged.

"You caught me at a really fucking bad time," she said, her tone flat, "I'm pmsing, have a hangover, and I'm sexually frustrated."

Murray stopped and saluted as best he could under the circumstances. He glanced over at Lieutenant Alenko. The man wore a scowl almost as fearsome as the one Commander Shepard wore.

"I want to know something. Did you not get my message?" Shepard hissed. "No, wait, I can answer that question. You fucking did. You look like you've got a hangover Murray. Care to tell me about it?"

"Ma'am, I…" he coughed, his voice unwilling to work properly after hours of being ill.

"I've heard all I need to hear," the Commander interrupted, "There's absolutely no excuse. I was fucking shitfaced last night but I got my ass back to work. The message was sent about six hours ago!"

"Seven, actually," Kaidan interjected.

"Seven!" Shepard's ire increased at this revelation. "Seven goddamn fucking hours! Seven!"

"Seven," the Lieutenant repeated, his gaze narrowing on Murray.

The Corporal's face looked ashen as if he was going to be ill.

"So help me, sweet Jesus, if you throw up on my deck, you'll be licking it clean," she spat, "For God's sake, you had five or so hours to sleep it off! I don't want to know how much you had to have had to not only ignore my message, but to not make yourself halfway presentable to leave on time. Honestly, I'm really fucking astounded."

"Care to add anything else?" Shepard turned to look at her Lieutenant, seeking his input.

"I'm not mad as much as I'm disappointed," he uncrossed his arms and frowned, "this is a highly-sought posting. I'm bewildered as to why anyone would want to screw things up this early on. That message was sent seven hours ago."

Shepard nodded.

"How old are you, Murray?" she asked.

"Ma'am, eighteen, ma'am," he replied, his expression that of fear.

"I used to pull stupid shit like this before I joined the Alliance," Shepard sighed, "I don't know what to do with you. Part of me wants to keep you around to light a fire under your ass, and another part of me wants to turn your life into all sorts of hell."

"Whatever the case turns out to be, I'm not going to burden Administrator Qui'in with your presence, so you'll be leaving with us," her expression grew stern again, "in the meantime, if you so much as blink wrongly, I will come after you and beat the ever living fuck out of you. Now get your pitiful ass out of my sight before I decide to fuck it up with my boot."

"Aye aye, ma'am!" Murray saluted and left as quickly as possible.

Shepard turned to her Lieutenant and shook her head. In the normal, non-military world, Murray might be able to get away with a warning on something like this. But this was one of the most coveted posts in the entire galaxy. And who the hell got so hung over that they were late to their posting? Shepard now had to decide if she would cut Murray off at the knees or give him a second chance. She looked over at Kaidan; he would be able to help her with the decision. He would be fair and impartial. It was one of the qualities Shepard admired in Kaidan. She touched his arm gently and his expression softened.

"Come on," she flashed him a weary smile, "join me in the Shep-lair. I'd like to discuss with you how I should handle this."

Kaidan chuckled. Ever since Shepard became Commanding Officer of the Normandy, she called the captain's quarters the 'Shep-lair'. Somehow, Shepard managed to pepper humor into almost everything she said and did. It made frustrations much more bearable.

Sometimes, she was just too damn cute.

"Joker," the Commander interrupted Kaidan's thoughts, "set course for the Citadel. Let's get the fuck out of the Whore's Head Nebula."

The Lieutenant cringed; at other times, Shepard could be extremely crude.

"Don't you mean Horse Head?" Kaidan asked as the Commander dragged him down to her quarters.

"Whore's Head," Shepard replied and gave him a saucy look.

Damn did she want those pralines. A peek at her Lieutenant would be nice as well.


	8. Something

A/n: This went somewhere strange that I didn't want it to go. Oh well! I love you, you hopefully love me. :D Also, I titled my chapters for added flair.

* * *

"Come onnnnnn…"

Shepard's voice drifted out of the bathroom in her quarters as she changed into civilian clothes.

"What?! No!" Kaidan was aghast.

"Come on!" she shouted. "I'll trade you."

"Trade what?" the Lieutenant narrowed his eyes at the door.

"I'll show you my boobs," Shepard replied.

"That's not an even trade at all!" Kaidan's jaw dropped. Was she really that curious?

"Then just show me part of it. Like the tip or something." the Commander laughed as she entered her quarters.

The Lieutenant arched a brow. He should have been used to Shepard's crudeness by now, but every day brought something hilariously disturbing and new for him to hear. Kaidan's eyes widened as soon as he saw Shepard. She wore a tight button-down shirt that was unbuttoned enough on the top and bottom to reveal her stomach and ample cleavage. Far below her exposed stomach, something that resembled a skirt rested. To complete the ensemble, the Commander wore a pair of shiny, black stilettos.

"Would you care to wear a skirt with that belt?" Kaidan asked.

"What's wrong with this?" Shepard countered and turned in a small circle.

"Oh my God…" the Lieutenant murmured. The skirt was so short that he could see part of her ass when she turned. He tried to not admire the fleshy jiggle as she stepped in a small circle. Did Shepard know that he secretly loved the 'naughty school girl' thing?

"Can you even sit in that?" he asked, fascinated by what he saw.

Shepard nodded and sat down in a nearby chair. The buttons on her shirt strained with the movement, creating a large gap that revealed her lacy bra. The observing Lieutenant sucked in a short breath; her black, lacy panties were showing. It was sexy.

"Shepard," Kaidan snapped out of his stupor and looked away out of respect, "you should change."

"Why? Does this make me look fat?" she huffed.

Kaidan blinked. Apparently even the most fit and powerful women in the galaxy suffered from the 'fat' syndrome. He looked over at the Commander again and concluded definitively that she looked far from fat. The outfit was completely oversexed.

"Not at all," he replied, "you're just showing too much skin."

"Fat skin?" Shepard looked up at him with large, fearful eyes.

Kaidan sighed and wondered why Shepard thought the outfit was fine to wear in public.

"No," the Lieutenant tried to rephrase, "it's indecent. You look like you could work at Chora's Den in that outfit. Please change."

"So it's sexy then?" she asked as she stood, a seductive look on her face.

"Yeah," Kaidan replied, unwilling to tell her that the outfit was more slutty than anything else. It was the kind of thing a woman would wear to surprise her boyfriend or husband. He liked it, but not on her in public.

The Commander turned and walked back to her bathroom to change, her ass disappearing through the doorframe with a jiggle. Kaidan sighed, realizing that there would inevitably be many cold showers in his future.

"I'll just put my uniform on," Shepard's voice drifted out from the bathroom, "screw it."

Kaidan nodded, his eyes glued to the last place the scantily clad Commander was. Hadn't her mother taught her what clothes were and weren't appropriate?

Oh.

Shepard didn't have a mother. Maybe that was part of the issue, but the Lieutenant suspected that the outfit she had selected stemmed from her persistent need to be outrageous and loud. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Maybe she hadn't even planned on wearing that outfit in public. Maybe she wanted to know if he thought she was sexy.

That couldn't be it, could it? Why would she want to know what he thought of her looks?

"So you're sure you won't show me?" the Commander's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"You show me yours and I'll show you mine," Kaidan said as he rolled his eyes.

Shepard stepped out of the bathroom in her uniform.

"You can't see Miss Puss-puss!" she declared, her eyes huge.

"Why not? It's a fair trade," the Lieutenant replied. The whole situation made him feel like a highschooler again. It was kind of cute.

"Because she's occupied," Shepard retorted, her nose in the air.

Kaidan cringed. She was on her period. The idea effectively turned him off and for a moment, he was grateful. Perhaps there wouldn't be as many cold showers in his future as he had previously thought.

"You know what?" Shepard sighed, "Let's just drop it for now. There's other stuff we should be doing."

She walked over to the intercom button and pushed it; the speakers beeped as they turned on.

"Murray to the principal's office," she said, her voice devoid of any emotion. The Commander looked over at her Lieutenant and furrowed her brow in thought. "So, we're in agreement then?"

He nodded in reply and looked toward the door. Within a minute, the chime sounded, announcing Corporal Murray's presence. Shepard pushed the button to open the door; immediately the Corporal saluted. The Commander nodded and invited him in.

"We've had some time to think about this," Shepard frowned, "and while we're not happy, we are willing to give you a chance to redeem yourself. You will be under probation. Don't mess up again. Now, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Ma'am, no excuses, ma'am," Murray replied, relief etched into his features.

"Good," she said, showing the barest hint of a smile, "we'll be watching you. Dismissed." Shepard was very pleased with Murray's response. He didn't offer an excuse or an apology; she didn't want to hear either. All she wanted was compliance. The Commander knew that she would get it this time.

Shepard smiled at her Lieutenant, glad that things had worked out well with Murray. She could only hope that the meeting with Anderson and Udina would go as smoothly. But they had a bit of time before then, so Shepard decided they would wander the Presidium.

* * *

Large, green eyes looked around the brightly colored store in wonder. There were so many kinds of candy to choose from. Shepard's handclutched a plastic bag in anticipation.

The asari behind the counter giggled as the Commander wandered around the store, randomly scooping large quantities of candy into her bag. She glanced over at the man that accompanied the Spectre and slowly blinked in recognition. The tall, muscular man was her partner, if she recalled correctly. The asari watched the way he looked at Shepard; it confirmed her suspicions. There was nothing short of complete adoration in his gaze.

"Want anything?" the Commander asked as she shuffled up to her Lieutenant and tilted her head to the side.

"No, I'm fine," he chuckled, "thanks."

"Well, in case you want any later," she beamed, "I'll share."

Kaidan merely nodded in reply, suspicious of the woman that offered to share her candy stash with him. What had he done right for her to share with him? Most women didn't share their candy.

"And I don't just share with anyone!" Shepard declared, confirming the Lieutenant's suspicions. Her index finger repeatedly poked him in the chest.

He didn't respond as the Commander whirled around, transfixed by another large display of candy. Quickly, she opened the door and grabbed the scoop.

"Thresher maws!" she exclaimed, heaping a generous helping of gummy worms into her bag.

Shepard grabbed a hapless worm and bit into it, its other half hanging out the side of her mouth. Kaidan slowly approached her and leaned down. He captured the other half of the hapless candy in his mouth and bit down, effectively severing it. Free of the candy, his lips gently captured hers then disappeared as quickly as the kiss began.

Wide eyed, the Lieutenant glanced around then turned his back on the blushing Shepard and giggling asari clerk. He mentally berated himself as he tried to figure out what possessed him to do something so bold. Whatever made him kiss his Commander terrified the hell out of him.

Shepard collected herself as the asari weighed her purchase and charged her account. Kaidan confused her. One minute he was calling her ma'am or Commander, and the next he was flirting with her. Or he was kissing the hell out of her in a hotel bed. Or… something. She would have chalked it up to just lust, but he was always so kind with her. He seemed to care about her.

Shepard didn't know how to deal with a guy that seemed to care about her.

The Commander mentally shook the thought off and drew her dagger, methodically poking holes around the bag's opening. She glanced up at the suddenly frightened clerk and sheathed the dagger with an 'oh'.

"Do you have any string?" Shepard asked, beaming at the asari behind the counter.

Quickly, the clerk offered a spool of ribbon and a pair of scissors. Shepard mumbled her thanks, ignored the scissors and drew her dagger once again. She measured a long piece of ribbon and methodically chopped it, leaving a dent in the counter, much to the chagrin of the observing asari and embarrassed Lieutenant. Threading the ribbon through the holes, Shepard tied the bag on her hip through a loop in her armor, much like a coin pouch of medieval times. She turned to meet her Lieutenant's baffled gaze.

"Shepard, you are by far the most quirky person I've ever met," he shook his head. "What are you going to do next, tie a blanket around your neck as a cape?" His sentence ended with a dry chuckle.

"That's a pretty sweet idea," Shepard replied. "Should I find an elcor so I can ride on its back up to the Ambassador's office?"

The Lieutenant laughed as Shepard linked arms with him. It was time to meet Anderson for a moment over the findings on Noveria.

* * *

Admiral Hackett was a walrus.

At least, that was Shepard's initial impression of the once disembodied voice that called her ship often. Now there was a face to go with the voice; Hackett was a stout man with a thick, silvering reddish-blonde handlebar mustache. He was the kind of man that Shepard pictured sitting at his desk with his feet propped up and crossed at the ankles, a cigar in one hand and a scotch on the rocks in the other. Hearing Hackett speak was always interesting, but watching him speak was a whole new experience.

Shepard watched the Admiral's mustache come alive with each raspy syllable he uttered. Her head cocked to the side as she pondered the mustache. How long had the mustache been part of Hackett? And what about eating? Did he have a comb for his moustache? If he shaved it, would the skin underneath be lighter from not seeing the light of day?

Kaidan saw the Commander tilt her head slightly to the side like a curious kitten. He knew that look; something had her undivided attention. Her mouth drew into a confused pout and the Lieutenant felt himself grinning like a fool. He couldn't help it; Shepard was an adorable little hellcat.

Hackett stopped speaking and narrowed his eyes at Shepard. She was giving him a look that oddly resembled the same look his two year old granddaughter would give him before tugging on his mustache. The similarity was slightly disturbing. He glanced over at Lieutenant Alenko and caught another familiar face. It was the same look he had when he saw Mrs. Mary Hackett when they were dating and it was the same face he still made when he saw her thirty-six years later. The Admiral chuckled; he felt old.

"Shepard," Hackett sighed, "I get the feeling that you're not listening."

The Commander blinked as she tried to recall what the Admiral had said. Little pieces came to the forefront of her mind.

"Ontarom, scientists. Eletania, muh- module," she recited, mentally wincing when she almost said mustache instead of module.

"Good," Hackett nodded, "I'll upload the details to your ship. I look forward to your reports."He fully trusted that the Commander would get the job done. It was the reason she'd been assigned to Torfan and it was the reason that she was the first human Spectre.

"Is there any particular order you wanted me to complete these in?" Shepard asked.

"I'd prefer you go to Eletania first," he replied, "that data is extremely important."

Shepard nodded in reply. She agreed wholeheartedly with the Admiral's assessment; the scientist could die, but if that data got into the wrong hands, something catastrophic could happen. She looked over at Anderson and Udina; Hackett's briefing was taking up their time. Anderson didn't seem to mind, but Udina was predictably upset.

"Thank you for allowing me to take a moment of your time," the Admiral nodded at the Councilor and Ambassador, "the Alliance appreciates it."

"It's not a problem," Anderson waved his arm dismissively, "the Alliance's business is the Council's business as well."

"So you found nothing on Noveria," Udina interjected and looked pointedly at Shepard, "are you absolutely sure that you looked at those files carefully? Should we have sent someone more qualified to see to the decryption?" He glanced distastefully at the Lieutenant. Shepard should have brought the quarian along instead of her pet plaything.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Udina. The little shit thought he knew everything. Anderson got his revenge after the lockdown order was issued and now it was her turn. She'd be damned if she let Udina get away with insulting her Lieutenant.

"You should have come to help," she smiled, "you know, since you've become a certified master in electronics and decryption. Not that Kaidan hasn't. But, you know, having an extra set of hands would have been totally appropriate to help with the absolutely useless files."

"I'm simply concerned with you picking favorites when someone else may have been able to do a more thorough job, Commander," Udina snorted, "settle down."

Before they had a human councilmember, Shepard would have relented and settled for a glare. But, she was encouraged by Hackett and Anderson's narrowed eyes, both directed at the Ambassador. It was empowering. The Commander walked up to Udina and stared him down.

"Respectfully," she spat, "you can't tell me what to do. You certainly can't tell me how to do my job." Shepard leaned in closer, forcing the Ambassador to back up. "Eat my shorts," she hissed.

"Shepard," Anderson interjected, "stand down."

The Commander nodded and backed up, still glaring at Udina. Her hand shot out to point at the newly appointed Councilor.

"I answer to him," she mouthed as she stared Udina down.

"Commander, you're dismissed," Anderson sighed, "if anything else comes up, we will be sure to let you know. My apologies for the Ambassador's ignorance." He glanced at the pair of marines and nodded.

Shepard returned the nod and began to leave, a red faced Kaidan following close behind. Anderson didn't wait for them to finish leaving before he addressed Udina.

"I hand picked him myself for the crew because of his expertise in electronics, decryption, medicine, first aid and biotics," the Councilor said, his tone very matter-of-fact.

"Lieutenant Alenko is one of the Alliance's top Sentinels," Hackett added.

The Commander and Lieutenant stepped across the threshold, the door s slowly sliding shut. Shepard turned quickly to face the Ambassador before the doors finished closing.

"Your mom!" she exclaimed, the passageway sealing before Anderson could tell her to be quiet again.

Shepard turned to look at her Lieutenant; his face was bright red. Pouting, she shuffled up to him and wrapped her arms around his midsection. Squeezing him tightly, Shepard looked up into Kaidan's eyes.

"Nobody talks about my Koko like that and gets away with it," she murmured, "are you okay? Your face was getting really red." The Lieutenant often kept a blank expression, so it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Shepard always looked for the telltale redness that would spread across his cheeks to tell if he was having a change of emotion.

"I…" he started, "you didn't have to say anything. It was fine."

"No," she shook her head, "it wasn't fine. I know you don't like being fussed over, but I'm not going to let anyone get away with saying that kind of stuff about you."

"Shepard," he mumbled and leaned down to gently capture her lips with his. No, he didn't care about what Udina had to say. It was Shepard that made him turn so red. Shepard that acted so cute and crude. Shepard that embarrassed the hell out of him and Shepard that turned him on so much and made him feel human for the first time in a long time. He wasn't sure what felt for her, but it was something.

As her hands reached up to bury themselves in his hair, Kaidan wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. He felt; it was something.

"See! This is what I was talking about!" Udina's voice made the Commander and Lieutenant jump away from each other.

"Leave the kids alone, Udina," Hackett sighed, "geez." The Admiral rolled his eyes. Did the Ambassador not understand young love? Sure, the Commander and Lieutenant were both around thirty years old, but to the aged Hackett, they were kids in love.

"Look, I know you two are crazy about each other but," Anderson offered the Commander a small smile, "please, don't do things like that in public. We don't need more attention drawn to your relationship." He crossed his arms and nodded once, putting on his Captain face.

Shepard glanced around, her eyes wide. In her shock, the Commander couldn't form a proper rebuttal to Anderson's claim. She watched as the trio passed them by.

"I think it's time for a cigar and a scotch," Hackett grumbled. Anderson grunted an affirmative and walked with the Admiral. Udina huffed and reluctantly followed close behind.

Soon Shepard and Kaidan were alone once again. The Commander stared in the direction the trio had disappeared and cocked her head to the side.

"Huh," she murmured and narrowed her eyes, "I was right."

"About what?" the Lieutenant asked, worried that Shepard was going to say something possibly hurtful.

"Hackett likes cigars and scotch," she nodded and grinned.

Kaidan let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Shaking his head, he wondered why her opinion mattered so much. What was he so scared of?

He didn't know. And as Shepard linked her arm with his, he found himself hoping that this would never end. But what was 'this' exactly? What was this feeling?

He didn't know.

All Kaidan knew was that he couldn't ignore it much longer.


	9. Deflated

A/n: So, here's another chapter of Parallax. It's funny how I have two chair scenes, one here and one in Conduit. Apparently making out in chairs is on my mind. And! I have less scene changes in this chapter! Go me!

* * *

"Oh my God!" was all the warning Kaidan had before he found himself enwrapped by a terrified Shepard.

The Lieutenant stumbled backward along the docking platform and hissed an unintelligible curse. All of his hair stood on end; Shepard had activated her biotic barrier, her eyes wide in terror. Kaidan looked all around the docking bay for the source of the Commander's fear.

What was it?

A pulsing, dark blue glow formed at his fingertips. His eyes narrowed in the direction Shepard looked.

The Commander let out a fearful scream as tears began to form in her eyes. The object of her terror moved from its hiding spot in the shade of a shipping crate. It was so small that many would overlook it, but to Shepard, it was a miniature version of Sovereign itself. Its six legs carried it quickly across the synthetic floor and the Commander could swear that she heard its movement. Tiny, bristled feet skittered while the filthy creature's wing-clad abdomen scraped across the ground.

"Oh my God!" she wailed, "It's coming right for us!" Shepard sobbed loudly and increased her barrier.

Kaidan finally spotted the little black-winged problem on the lightly colored metal gangway. He cocked his head to the side. How did the little guy get so far? Did he come on the Normandy or from the shipping container?

It was a cockroach in space.

The Lieutenant shook his head at the roach's valiant effort of colonization. It had been for naught. Kaidan raised his hand and released an excessively large wave of dark energy at the creature, shearing it into a small collection of floating insect bits.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Shepard cried, repeating her mantra until her Lieutenant used his biotics to throw the remainders of the roach off the platform.

Though Shepard's biotic barrier disappeared, she still clung to her Lieutenant in fear. What if there were more? Where there was one roach, another was sure to be another lurking nearby. She whimpered and hid her face against Kaidan's chest, her legs and arms tightening around him.

"Shhh…" Kaidan murmured, "the roach is gone. You can relax now." His hand gently rubbed her back in an effort to calm her.

It had no effect. At the mere mention of the roach, Shepard whimpered and increased the strength of her hold. Sighing, Kaidan walked toward the ship, hoping that she'd relax with the added distance from the location of the incident. His feet crossed the threshold into the decon chamber, and still the Commander clung to him. The Lieutenant continued to soothe Shepard through the decon scan and felt her grip relax slightly.

"Are you okay now?" he asked. The scan was complete and they had to enter the ship. Kaidan felt her shake her head 'no' against his chest. "Shepard," he sighed, "you know you can't let the crew see you like this."

She peered up at him, her eyes large and glassy. Realizing he was right, she gave her Lieutenant one last squeeze before sliding down to place her feet on the ground.

Kaidan gently grabbed her arms and kissed her on the forehead. The Normandy's airlock door opened. Shepard put on her Commander face and grabbed her Lieutenant's hand, intertwining their fingers. Together they entered the ship, the crew staring and whispering amongst themselves over this new development. It was apparent that the couple completely adored each other.

In an instant, bets were won and lost. The Commander and Lieutenant's relationship was clearly not based on lust.

Shepard turned to Pressley and told him to set course for Eletania then opened the door to the second level. She wanted to get to her quarters as quickly as possible. Upon nearing Kaidan's workstation, she felt him tug on her hand as if he expected to be allowed to go to work.

"No," she tugged back and dragged him to her quarters.

The doors closed behind them and Shepard engaged the lock. Shepard led her Lieutenant to a chair and let go of his hand before gently pushing him to sit. She crawled into his lap and curled up like a kid. After a moment, she sighed and spoke up.

"It was a bad acid trip," she said, leaning her head against his chest.

"Huh?" Kaidan asked, his expression confused.

"I had a bad trip once," Shepard snorted, "I saw a bunch of roaches. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. The little fuckers still scare me shitless." She brought her arms up to rest on his shoulders.

"That makes sense," he replied, returning her hug.

For a few minutes, a companionable silence pervaded the room.

Shepard shifted to straddle his lap in an attempt to get more comfortable. Their eyes met and in a second, both were very aware of the position they were in. The Commander remembered the feel of his lips when he kissed her in the hallway. She didn't remember how he tasted when they kissed drunkenly on Noveria. The Commander didn't like not remembering things. She rationalized the matter:

It was just a taste.

Shepard leaned in and kissed him, her tongue immediately seeking his. Their tongues danced across each other and she sighed; Kaidan tasted so good. She felt his hands wandering down her back to grip her hips. Leaning in to the kiss further, Shepard scooted up his lap to draw closer to him. Kaidan groaned and thrust upward at the woman on his lap in an attempt to ease his burning lust.

The Commander paused for a moment then eased up on her kisses. Her insistent Lieutenant picked up the slack and began to increase his fervor; he wanted her here and now in the chair. Sensing this, Shepard scooted further back toward his knees and placed her hands on his chest, gently pushing him back. She couldn't give it to him like this, her period notwithstanding.

"At ease, Lieutenant," Shepard murmured.

Kaidan leaned forward and brought his head to rest on top of hers. Though frustrated, he was glad she cut the moment short. He was unsure of his feelings for Shepard and sex would only serve to confuse him more.

"I should go," he gently grabbed her arms and held her gaze, "you know, mission reports, that kind of thing."

There were no mission reports.

Shepard nodded her consent, stood, and watched him leave. The doors to her quarters closed quietly and she was alone to think. Earlier, she ignored the signals of sexual attraction between them but now she couldn't deny it existed.

The Commander plunked down at her console, crossed her arms and legs, and began to make a mental list about her Lieutenant.

Kaidan was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. Marine training had whittled his body into one of the finest specimens of the male gender that Shepard had seen. His voice was dreamy as well. He was a biotic; they both were. Human biotics were a rare breed and it gave them a bond deeper than she'd had with her other non-biotic friends. And not only was he a stable L2, he was a strong one. His powers were supposedly on par with those of an asari and she was inclined to agree.

And he had some damn sexy brains to go with the whole package.

There was a mutual attraction between them and everyone already thought they were having sex. They were at the point where they could decide to be sex buddies. Shepard narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips in thought.

No.

She shook her head and dismissed the idea. Kaidan didn't deserve to have a woman that had lost the number of men she'd slept with pawing on him. Never before had her regret of her past actions stung as much as it did when considering her Lieutenant. Shepard felt ashamed that she'd even considered him for a random encounter.

Her best friend deserved the best woman in the world; she wasn't even close.

Shepard logged in to her console and huffed. She threw out her line of thought altogether. They would be on Eletania soon and she had to keep her head in the mission. Hackett was counting on that data.

* * *

The Mako fell from the sky and landed with a jolt, the rover's shocks absorbing the brunt of the impact. Gripping wheels kicked up chunks of moss and fertile terrain as pollen and various seeds floated throughout the clear, blue sky.

"You know, this is a lovely place," Shepard smiled, "the rings add a nice touch too." She nodded toward the thin, white band in the sky.

"Except for the deadly, microscopic creatures floating in the air," Kaidan said, his voice devoid of emotion. He maneuvered the rover to head in the direction of the data probe.

"You're always such a downer," she quipped, rolling her eyes.

Tali just chuckled. She'd been with Shepard since the Commander had become a Spectre. And the Quarian knew why she'd been selected to go with them on this particular mission; she'd be leaving for the Flotilla soon and Shepard wanted to make sure that she spent time with her. Tali glanced between the Commander and Lieutenant and smiled. She hoped to find a love like theirs someday.

The rover stopped in front of the downed probe and the ground team hopped out. Tali approached the probe, ready to help the Lieutenant in extracting the data module. Her eyes widened in realization.

The module was gone.

Tali looked over at Kaidan. His eyes were closed, his body language tense. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"Shepard," he hesitated then sighed again, "the module's missing."

The Commander looked at her Lieutenant, her brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry," she crossed her arms, "it sounded like you said the module was missing."

"Yes ma'am," he nodded, his expression apologetic.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her forehead. Nothing was ever easy. She motioned toward the downed probe with her hand, signaling Kaidan to inspect the empty module port.

Kaidan nodded. He and Tali approached the panel, examining it closely.

"See," he murmured, "claw marks. Some kind of animal probably took it." Kneeling down, he pressed two fingers into a suspicious indentation in the earth below the probe. "Footprints from some kind of animal, maybe half a day old." It was impossible to tell what kind of animal had taken the probe based on the print alone.

Tali nodded and mentally filed the Lieutenant's information away. The exiled Quarians didn't have much time to learn about the tracking of animals; she would have to research this subject as well. Tali sighed, the sound lost in the confines of her environmental suit. Part of her didn't want to leave. These humans had let her in and treated her like an equal. She would never forget their kindness.

"Well," Shepard sighed, "we should probably start by checking out the Prothean ruins to the southwest. The animals may have taken shelter near them."

Kaidan nodded in reply. He strode over to the Mako and opened the door, helping both Commander and Quarian get in before hoisting himself into the driver's seat.

"You're cute," Shepard looked over at her Lieutenant and chuckled, "helping two very capable ladies into the rover like that."

"It's what I do, Shepard," he smiled.

She leaned over and gently hugged him before sitting back to watch the scenery. It was quite a shame that Eletania's very air was poisonous to non-natives. The planet itself was so gorgeous. But she wondered what kind of animal had taken the module. The evidence on the downed probe said that the animal was clawed.

In front of the Mako, a large, jagged foothill loomed. The Commander looked at the topography map, trying to find a way around the rocky area. To the south, there seemed to be small letup in the hill's altitude and incline. She looked up just in time to watch the Mako slam into the near vertical hillside.

"Kaidan," she said, her eyes huge, "there's an easier way than just straight through."

He merely shrugged and floored the accelerator. The Mako ground up the hillside, barely losing momentum. Shepard rolled her eyes and mumbled something about 'stupid men', her grumblings drowned out by the sound of the rover roaring at its maximum power.

Soon, all the passengers could see was sky. The Mako's all terrain wheels desperately grabbed at the loose dirt on the hill and began to slowly roll backward.

"Everyone lean forward," Kaidan directed, his hands gripping the rover's controls tightly.

"Why?" Shepard crossed her legs and arms, "are you going to pop the left front tire again?" A smirk spread across her lips.

"Woman…" he warned, his eyes narrowing.

Kaidan's hand shot out to poke Shepard in the side, the action causing her to jump forward with a squeak. With her added movement, the Mako slowly tilted forward then plummeted down the sheer face of the hillside to land with a jarring thud.

"Left front tire deflated," Tali remarked, amused that the Lieutenant had succeeded in popping the combat grade tire once again.

"You know, Kaidan," Shepard chuckled as he helped her out of the rover, "you always seem to turn mischievous every time you drive the Mako."

"That's not the only time," he replied, leaning in closer to the Commander's face.

"Behave, mister," Shepard chided and turned to look at the ruin.

There were no signs of animals, which seemed strange. The ruins looked as if they were in a decent area that was sheltered from the elements, especially wind. Shepard's eyes were drawn to a large, floating metallic sphere. It was familiar. Without examining the orb in detail, she returned to the Mako and retrieved the trinket that the Consort had given her.

"I've been here," Shepard murmured as she approached the ruin.

Kaidan and Tali stepped back and watched Shepard place the trinket into a small slot on the side of the metal sphere. A flash of light momentarily blinded them and when their eyes adjusted, Shepard was out cold.

The Lieutenant hissed a curse and ran over to his Commander. Kneeling down, he checked her vitals; she was fine, but her eyes were rapidly moving under her eyelids. A memory of Shepard unconscious in the med bay after Eden Prime came to him; she was having another vision. Kaidan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Leaning down, he gently reached under her body to transport her to the Mako.

He froze when she began to speak.

"Oh, officer" Shepard whispered.

That was unexpected. Kaidan chuckled under his breath.

"Oh, please handcuff me," she mumbled, her back arching slightly.

Kaidan scrunched his eyes closed, trying not to think about the dream Shepard was having. So she liked cops, eh? He could play that game. The Lieutenant filed the bit of information away.

Why?

It wasn't like he'd hold that information against Shepard. And he wasn't planning on having deviant sex with her anytime soon. Kaidan shook his head and looked down at Shepard.

She was awake.

"Hey," Shepard whispered, squinting up at him.

"Hey," he replied. His hand moved to brush her hair away from her face.

The Commander paused for a moment and blinked.

"You know," she mused, "you have really nice breath."

"Um…" Kaidan closed his eyes and chuckled, "thanks, I guess."

Shepard reached up and wound her arms around his shoulders. For a brief moment, her lips brushed against his before he gently lifted her and carried her to the Mako. She didn't need to be carried, but she wasn't about to protest.

Tali followed the couple to the rover and shut the door behind her. Glancing down at the radar image of the planet, she blinked.

"We've picked up some new readings," the Quarian said, "it looks like the systems have detected some colonies of animals nearby."

"Good catch," Shepard replied, "are there any structures near the colonies?" She smiled. They were back in business.

"There seems to be an anomaly to the northeast," she pointed to the marker on the map.

"Alright, let's go there," Shepard directed.

Kaidan nodded, put the Mako in reverse, and stomped the accelerator. Shepard jerked forward, her seatbelt jarring her back.

"Dammit, Kaidan!" she cursed.

The Mako trekked backward up the hill, dirt flying in front of the windshield. For a moment, all motion stopped as the rover's weight shifted. Suddenly, the hillside gave way and the Mako tumbled backward through the air and landed with a crunch.

"Right rear tire deflated," Tali announced, "At least they still work when they're flat."

Shepard sighed. Every time she let Kaidan drive the Mako, things like this happened. Though it was fun to allow him to go wild while driving, Shepard knew she had to draw the line somewhere. Garrus wouldn't always be around to fix the rover.

"So, what kind of animal do you think we're tracking?" Tali enquired, sensing Shepard's tension.

"Hm," Kaidan tapped his fingers on the Mako's controls in thought, "well, it was clawed and it had to have hands in order to get that control panel off."

"It could have special paws," Shepard said, "like a squirrel or rodent of some form. Those kinds of paws have good gripping capabilities, you know." She crossed her arms, convinced that she was right.

"I'm not so sure, Commander," Kaidan countered, "I think we're dealing with something similar to a monkey."

The worse-for-wear Mako rumbled toward the area marked on the radar. Shepard thought about her Lieutenant's proposal of monkey-like creatures taking the module. To her, there was no creature more ugly than a monkey. She narrowed her eyes at the horizon.

"They better not be monkeys," Shepard huffed, "I fucking hate monkeys."


	10. Lacy

A/n: I'm not dead, nor have I forgotten this fic. Life's been hectic lately. I've finished up classes for the semester and I've been having major noise issues with my neighbors below me. So, in the next month, I will be moving (just across town, fortunately). **I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I figured that it was way overdue and that I needed to get it out and fast. The longer I sit on this chapter and stew about how displeased I am with it, the longer it will just sit on my computer. So here's my micro-chapter :P**

* * *

"No, it's not," Shepard insisted, stamping her foot at her frustrating Lieutenant.

"It's got hands," Kaidan gestured to the creature in front of them, "it's got a long, prehensile tail. It's a space monkey."

The Commander rolled her eyes and knelt down to inspect the creature. Unlike the wild animals of Earth, this one was not immediately afraid of humans. It had large, glassy eyes and a long, thin snout. There was no denying that its body was similar to that of a monkey. Shepard cautiously reached out to touch the animal.

It hesitated at being touched then decided it didn't want to be touched. In a split second, the creature was gone. Shepard sighed and stood.

"Well," she turned around, "I guess it's time to check the mineshaft."

"Right behind you, Commander," Kaidan called out to Shepard.

"I can feel that you're right behind me, Kaidan," she blinked. Shepard felt a pair of hands gripping her hips and something else poking into her bottom.

The Lieutenant merely laughed, the sound coming from further behind the Commander than she expected. Shepard glanced down to see a long, thin space monkey snout poke its way between her thighs. She bent over to look the bold creature in the eyes.

"Excuse me, sir," Shepard giggled, "but you are getting mighty fresh with me."

The creature responded with a strange noise that sounded like a mix between a purr and an owl's hoot. Shepard shook her head, sighed, and began to waddle toward the mine shaft, the space monkey hanging off the back of her hips and peering between her legs. She continued to attempt to walk before huffing and peering down at the creature once again.

"I'm having a bit of trouble walking, you know," she addressed the monkey.

And oddly enough, it clambered up to her shoulders where it wouldn't hinder her progress. Shepard turned around to speak to her Lieutenant, the monkey's tail wrapping around her bicep.

"This guy needs a name," she said.

"How do you know it's a guy?" Kaidan asked.

"Because I can feel his balls on the back of my neck," Shepard chuckled.

The Lieutenant cringed in disgust.

"What?" Shepard laughed, "they're just balls. It's not like he's humping me."

"It's still balls," Kaidan murmured.

The creature began to gently run its hands through Shepard's hair, its nails lightly scratching her scalp.

"This is nice," Shepard smiled, "I wonder if he gives massages?" She approached the mineshaft and pressed the button to open the large door.

"I could give you a massage too," Kaidan huffed, his words not meant for the Commander to overhear.

"You've got him beat if your massage includes a happy ending," Shepard smirked and turned to pin her Lieutenant with her sultry gaze.

"Of course it would," he replied. His mouth went dry as his Commander turned around with a wink and continued to descend into the cavern below. He watched her shapely ass jiggle under her obscenely tight armor; before he knew it, his mouth ran away on him again. "Though there's no telling what I'd do to you when I get you under me."

Shepard's stride faltered; it was the only indication Kaidan had that the Commander had indeed heard him. He didn't see her bite her lip in thought nor did he see how her face turned red.

Her thoughts ran wild at her Lieutenant's declaration. But was he all talk? Did his words have any intent behind them?

"Then we'll have to see later, won't we?" she asked, glancing back to the flabbergasted Lieutenant.

Tali stood off to the side and listened intently at the couple's sexual banter. To the quarian, the topic of discussion was as foreign as the quietness of the Normandy. Her people had sex to create more quarians; sex was not looked upon as something recreational. But humans had an interesting culture that, in a large part, revolved around sex. Tali was curious and didn't mind that she was being ignored to a certain extent.

She silently followed the couple and the curious little creature that clung to Shepard's shoulders.

* * *

At some point during the geth firefight, the monkey jumped off of Shepard. The Commander wondered why the geth arrived shortly after the ground crew had successfully retrieved the module. Were the geth working alone? Did they want the data or did they want to kill her? Had they known she would be there?

A tech mine flew out from behind cover, its explosion destroying the last of the geth.

"Clear," Kaidan declared. He holstered his sidearm and looked over at Shepard, patiently waiting for orders.

The Commander looked around the cavern. Geth were strewn about the base of the cave; various fluids leaked from the silent machines' wounds. Overturned crates lay riddled with bullet holes. Off to the side, a fire containment cell squealed loudly, the last sound of the quick skirmish.

And all around lay the tiny corpses of monkeys that were caught in the crossfire.

"Little monkey man?" Shepard called out, her voice resembling the questioning tone of a child.

There was no response.

Kaidan's heart fell. He knew Shepard had a soft spot for animals, and in their line of work it was more often that one saw a dead soldier than a dead animal.

"He could have escaped. He…" Kaidan trailed off, knowing that Shepard wouldn't be fooled.

"Let's just go," she sighed, "I want to get out of here. Now."

The Lieutenant nodded in response, silently following her from a distance.

And even when they made it back to the ship and had set course for Ontarom, Shepard was silent. After a few hours, Kaidan had enough of the silence. He shut down his console work and headed to Shepard's quarters.

Maybe it was silly that he check on the battle-hardened Commander after the death of an anonymous space monkey. Maybe he just wanted to talk to her. He certainly didn't intend to snoop.

Kaidan's finger pressed the button to open the door. It was locked; he moved to press the door's chime button. The door opened a crack.

"Hi," Kaidan drawled, "Can I borrow a cup of sugar?"

There was no response. He sighed. He'd been saving that line for a while and now it was wasted.

The Lieutenant glanced around before stepping into Shepard's quarters. The doors closed behind him and he was alone with a trail of clothes that led to the Commander's running shower. His eyes fell upon the last two articles of clothing. Kneeling down, Kaidan hooked the strap of the bra with his finger.

Lacy.

He turned the sheer bra around to read the size label then dropped it back onto the floor. And though almost every fiber of his being told him to leave, Kaidan opted to stay and pick up Shepard's panties. They were lacy too.

Thong.

It was a thong not unlike the one he'd accidentally been exposed to a few days earlier. Turning it around, he admired the bow on the back. His eyes widened when he heard a moan drift out from Shepard's bathroom.

Had his ears deceived him?

"She's just enjoying her shower," he murmured, "get your mind out of the gutter, Alenko."

Another moan sounded; it wasn't the kind one would normally make in a shower.

Kaidan's mouth went dry and his brain shut down. He patiently awaited the next noise that would drift out of the door in front of him.

"Oh my God! What the hell are you doing in here?!!" came from the Commander's bathroom; it was not what he'd expected to hear.

Kaidan dropped the panties and skittered toward the door, mumbling apologies as he went. Thankfully, there was nobody around to witness the Lieutenant's hasty escape. He slinked back to his console and pretended to work. After the shock of being caught wore off, the self-flagellation began.

What the hell was he thinking?

Sure, he and Shepard were close, but that gave him no excuse to barge into her quarters unannounced. It certainly didn't excuse him from examining her unmentionables. And the listening! Why did he listen in on Shepard's activities while she was in the shower?

Like a drooling letch, he'd stood there, her panties in his hand, waiting for her to keep moaning. He knew better than to do that. Kaidan had always made it a point to treat women with the respect and dignity they deserved.

He'd broken his code of conduct and would find some way to make it up to Shepard.


	11. Medication I

A/n: It's been too long since I updated last. I've finally moved to another apartment, so hopefully I'll be more in the mood to write. Unfortunately, this damn headache I've got tonight has prevented me from writing more, so you're getting a chapter that's 500 words shorter than normal. I think that's okay, right? O.o

Also, if you're on the Bioware Social site, you should join the group, "Ashley, Kaidan, and Liara fans unite here!"

You need an ID to get started. Create an account if you don't have one, then click the 'groups' tab on the top. Our group is on the first page of the 'most viewed' list. We'd love to have more people join to discuss Ashley/Kaidan/Liara with us! :)

* * *

There was a reason that Kaidan never used large doses of narcotics to treat his migraines.

He knew that if just once, he had the immediate euphoria from meds after being tortured by the pounding of his head, he would want it again. So he always made sure that the doctors oversaw his dosage and that they gave him just enough to take the edge off of the pain.

But what was the point? Thanks to Shepard accidentally overdosing them on meds to treat their hangovers, he'd had a taste of the forbidden fruit.

Kaidan's older L2 implants were painful at times, and only the hardest mental training had steeled him against the inevitable pain they were to cause him. One thing was for certain:

The pain would always return.

But at the same time, the Lieutenant's implants made him who he was. He was a powerful biotic, for human standards. And part of him knew that was why he was alive and Ashley Williams wasn't.

Sometimes he resented that he was 'useful'. He was a tool, as was the rest of the Alliance. Shepard had talked him into reason long ago. In her words, the Council had buried their heads in the sand while Saren rolled over the Terminus systems with an army of geth. After how the Council treated his Commander, his belief in them waned, as did his faith in the Alliance, the system, the man, and even some of the regs.

For the second time in his life, his extreme self control had slipped. The pain had to go away; it could not be minimized. He hated himself for his weakness.

Kaidan's self-loathing led him to Shepard's door.

The normally melodic door chime was shrill to the migraine-addled Lieutenant. He didn't know what he'd say to Shepard. After all, she'd caught him listening in on her shower, a pair of her panties in his hand.

A blast of cold air from the opening door momentarily relieved Kaidan. Following the initial blast, the consistent coolness of Shepard's quarters washed over him, followed by a pungent odor.

"Came to see little old me, did you?" Shepard cooed. The smell came from Shepard's direction, specifically from the space monkey perched on her shoulders.

Kaidan stared, perplexed. Wasn't that monkey dead? And why was it on the Normandy?

"I know! I thought he was dead too!" the Commander exclaimed and ushered the Lieutenant into her quarters. "I caught him watching me in the shower. I shit you not." She walked off toward her console and continued to talk about the monkey.

Kaidan furrowed his brow, wondering how the woman managed to read his mind. He winced as another wave of pain made his head throb unbearably. And Shepard continued to chatter quickly; she was in an extremely good mood.

"You're rather quiet today," Shepard turned around to look at him. Her eyes widened. The Commander skittered over to her Lieutenant and reached up to apply pressure to both of his temples.

"Make it stop," Kaidan whispered, his voice sounding pathetic to his own ears.

Shepard's hands dropped to his waist and pulled him in for a tight hug. The Lieutenant leaned his aching head down to nestle his face into her dark hair. He inhaled deeply, expecting the clean, musky smell that was unique to Shepard.

Kaidan smelled the rankness of the never-bathed space monkey instead.

He cringed and let out a displeased groan. And as Shepard stepped back from him, Kaidan greedily inhaled the slightly fresher air. Her gentle hands guided him to a nearby chair and pushed him to sit. Kaidan closed his eyes, trying his best to shield himself from the lights of the ship. A stinky shadow passed over him and he felt Shepard gently kiss him on the forehead and run her hand through his hair.

"I'll be back," she whispered.

The plunk of her boots on the ship's metal flooring signaled her departure. Kaidan swiveled slightly in his chair to face the small table in Shepard's quarters. Leaning forward, he placed the side of his face against the cool metal and wrapped his arms around his head, shielding his eyes from as much light as possible. The Lieutenant had no idea how long he lay there in the cool silence until the doors opened once again.

"So Lieutenant, I take it that you're willing to have a normal dose of medication for your migraine this time?" came the voice of Dr. Chakwas.

Kaidan made no indication that he'd heard the Doctor.

"Has this migraine made you throw up yet?" Chakwas inquired.

The Lieutenant's hands popped up from the table, indicating the number seven. He made no move to lift his head from the table.

"Hm, that's about four more than normal," the Doctor mumbled. "On a scale of one to ten, ten being among one of your worst migraines ever, how would you rate this one?"

Kaidan raised his middle finger.

"Give him as much shit as you can without making him sicker," Shepard murmured, "he never does that."

The Lieutenant's arm fell to the table in a position to receive the injection. Yet he felt no alcohol swab on his arm. He almost lifted his head to see what the holdup was, but Shepard's voice cut through his confusion.

"I don't care," she hissed, "get him higher than a fucking cow grazing in the middle of a weed crop. I'll babysit him if I have to."

Kaidan thumped his arm against the table insistently. He wanted relief, at any cost.

The long-awaited alcohol swab made contact with his arm. Soon afterward, a needle pierced his skin and the burning medicine flowed into his veins. And even as Dr. Chakwas gently bandaged the injection site, the Lieutenant kept his head down.

Part of him was ashamed.

"You may want to keep him out of sight for a few hours, Commander," the Doctor sighed.

Kaidan didn't lift his head until he was sure that Dr. Chakwas had left the room. Shepard's hands grabbed his shoulders and slowly spun him around to face her.

The medicine began to take effect and the bottom dropped out of his world.

He was looking at the most beautiful woman that had ever lived. Her skin was so pale; her eyes were the greenest and loveliest of all greens. Kaidan had the urge to giggle. Marines didn't giggle, dammit.

"Well, you're looking mighty happy," Shepard chuckled, "Care to share what's gotten your interest?"

She touched his arm and his nerves exploded in rapture. Kaidan shook his head vehemently, untrusting of what he would say to the woman in front of him.

"I'll get it out of you sometime," the Commander cooed, "just wait and see."

Immediately, Kaidan's thoughts traveled south. His eyes perused her form and he wished that he could will away her clothes with his stare alone. Maybe his biotics could be employed in this manner.

But the damn monkey had to lean over Shepard's shoulders and wave its putrid hand in front of his eyes.

"Your monkey stinks," Kaidan cringed and wedged himself as far back into the seat as was physically possible.

"Simon," the Commander gently corrected. She removed the protesting animal from her shoulders, smelled her uniform, and cringed.

"Does my hair smell bad too?" she asked, leaning in to the drugged Lieutenant.

His response was a grunt and a turn of the head.

"Shit," Shepard stamped her foot, "this is my last clean uniform too. I'll have to take another shower." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "Okay, I'm going to shower and give Simon a bath. Don't leave the room," the Commander ordered, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Kaidan nodded mutely and watched Shepard gather some clothes to change into after her shower. She scooped up the monkey and disappeared into the bathroom.

Now what was he going to do?

He looked around the Commander's quarters with his new sight. By the bedside, Kaidan noticed a series of drawers. He recalled Shepard's comment about not having a clean uniform to wear; it was nonsensical. Surely the woman had a clean uniform hiding somewhere in one of the drawers.

Kaidan would find it. Shepard would reward him. Would she give him a medal? Would she show him her boobs? Or, would she allow him to meddle with her boobs?

The Lieutenant stood and stumbled toward the bedside drawers. He reached out to the metal handle, receiving a static shock.

"Now you better cooperate with me," he scolded.

Kaidan smiled when the drawer complied. Rummaging through the drawer's contents, he soon found himself in a panty wonderland. Maybe there was a uniform crammed in the back of the drawer. It made perfect sense to the medicated Lieutenant.

A clinking noise made him stop.

"Could be a belt buckle," he mumbled.

Kaidan reached into the back recesses of the drawer and grabbed the object that made the noise. He blinked when he withdrew it.

The object was made glass and contained blue and green spirals, much like those of a marble. Its form was long and thin. Near one end, the object curved slightly. The other end was considerably larger than the rest of the object. It appeared that it was meant to be held by the large end.

Realization washed over the Lieutenant; the object was a glass dildo.

He glanced over at the bathroom door and grinned as he placed the dildo back into the dark recesses of the drawer.

"She won't need you when I'm done with her," he chuckled as he took a last look at it before shutting the drawer.

Kaidan turned from the drawer and sighed. He was all talk; he'd never been able to have his way with Shepard. He'd always stopped before they had a chance to have sex. Or, something would interrupt them. It was completely unfair.

In that moment, the Lieutenant steeled his resolve. He would have Shepard that very day and she would like it.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the chime that announced company at the door. Rising to his feet, Kaidan stumbled toward the person waiting outside. The Lieutenant's hand smacked the button and the door slid open to reveal a saluting Murray.

"Sir, Vakarian would like to speak with the Commander," the Corporal informed.

Kaidan turned to look toward the bathroom. He knew he was told to stay in the room, but he was sure he could handle this.

"Oooo," Shepard's voice drifted out of the shower, "you're such a naughty boy. I'm going to have to punish you when I get out."

Kaidan's gaze drifted back to a blushing Murray. He shrugged, knowing that the Corporal had the wrong impression of his relationship with the Commander.

"I'll see what's going on," Kaidan nodded at Murray and motioned him to follow.

The elevator ride was filled with silence. Murray tried his best to not sneak glances at his superior officer, but ultimately failed. Kaidan felt the Corporal's eyes on him and sighed. He motioned the younger man to speak.

"Sir," Murray said, "I don't want to speak out of turn, but…" He hesitated when his eyes met the Lieutenant's obviously drugged ones. "Are you high?"

"Why do you ask?" Kaidan sighed, "I had one of the worst migraines of my life. Does that make me look weak to you? Am I unfit for command?"

The Corporal's eyes widened and Kaidan fought the urge to sigh again. He knew that taking the high dose of meds would cause problems. He knew he should have stayed in Shepard's quarters. He knew lots of things, and he knew that if he thought about it just enough, he could still feel a small amount of pain through the meds' tingly haze.

"No Sir," Murray's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "You rarely take medication for your headaches and I was surprised to see you taking the time to do this for the Commander. I meant no disrespect, Sir."

"So, what do they say about me then?" Kaidan asked.

He almost grinned when Murray shifted uncomfortably. Now the Lieutenant had to know the rumors. He looked over at the red faced Corporal.

"Come on," he chuckled, "I'm high. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Sir, the fact that you could win a fight with just your mind is a bit intimidating," Murray replied. He sighed when his superior shot him a pointed look. "Well, everyone thinks that you and the Commander are quite ummm…" the Corporal paused to find the proper word, "active."

Kaidan let out a short, sharp bark of laughter, causing Murray to jump. The elevator opened before either could finish the awkward conversation. Dismissing Murray with a quick nod and grunt, the Lieutenant trudged over to a waiting Garrus.

"Shepard's busy. Was there something you needed?" Kaidan asked.

The turian looked up from the Mako's diagnostic terminal and met the Lieutenant's gaze with an exasperated sigh. He glanced back at the screen and sighed once more.

"Lieutenant," Garrus shook his head, "I'd appreciate it if the Mako returned unscathed the next time you take it planetside."

"It came back fine after Noveria," Kaidan smiled. He fought the urge to chuckle when he realized that Garrus' eyes resembled those of his mom's ragdoll cat.

Unlike Garrus, that cat was an asshole.

"That was one time," the turian laughed, oblivious to the Lieutenant's wandering mind, "just make sure that if you're going to have fun like that to invite me along. The trip makes the tire repairs worth the effort."

"So, was there anything else you needed?" the Lieutenant asked. He blinked a few times as his vision blurred in and out of focus.

"No, that was it," Garrus replied, "just a request that you please not pop the Mako's tires."

Kaidan shook his head in understanding then began his walk to the elevator. He paused at Ash's old station and gave it a nod and a quick "Chief" before entering the impossibly slow elevator. The Lieutenant watched the tiles on the side of the shaft creep by, and for a moment it made him wonder if the tiles were moving and the elevator wasn't. Certainly the Normandy wasn't as tall as the elevator shaft appeared.

Perhaps the elevator was a prank.

And as the door slid open, Kaidan realized it was his duty to inform the Commander of his revelation. He strode to Shepard's quarters with purpose. Once the doors closed behind him, Kaidan sat down at the small table. His eyes wandered about the room as he waited for Shepard to get out of the shower so he could share his theory.

The room began to spin and Kaidan found his eyes unable to focus on anything. Eventually, the Lieutenant put his head in his hands. An oppressive weight settled over his eyelids as he tried to fight the medication's exhausting effects.

Kaidan lost the battle and drifted off to sleep.


	12. A bit of finger

A/n: Join the Bioware social site. I am on there with the same name (fortunesque).

**This chapter is short because it had to be edited for sexual content. The uncensored, 18+ version of this chapter is available on adult fan fiction; there is a link on my author's profile here that leads to my aff profile. If you've read any of my adult works before, then you know that the unedited scene is very graphic. **

* * *

A voice roused Kaidan from his sleep and he groaned in protest. Dream-Shepard was about to remove her bra, and he'd missed out on the awesomeness that the dream was sure to provide. The Lieutenant slid his eyes open reluctantly.

It was worth it.

In front of him was the inquisitive face of the freshly cleaned Shepard, her green eyes wide and doe-like. Her mouth was set into an inquisitive 'o' as she blinked at him. God, but she was beautiful.

"Now what's that look mean, mister?" she teased.

He wasn't aware that he'd been giving her a look of any sort. Kaidan cautiously sat up as Shepard giggled at him. It was then that he noticed her state of dress.

It was a navy sports bra and a pair of tiny, spandex shorts. Or maybe they were underwear. He didn't care. Shepard's quarters were cold, just like she liked them. And her nipples were hard, just like he decided that he liked them. Kaidan grinned.

"And now you're staring at my breasts and smiling," Shepard raised a brow, "charming."

The Lieutenant's eyes grew wide and he stood. Ignoring the sudden spinning of the room, he grabbed her hands and stared intently into her eyes.

"Shepard," he crooned, "you are so beautiful; I want to kiss your lips."

Kaidan was lucid enough to notice Shepard's cheeks flush red. He smiled shyly at her. Would she let him kiss her?

His hand brushed her cheek in hesitation before he leaned in to gently plant his lips on hers. Shepard responded with a sigh and deepened the kiss, drawing her arms up to rest on his shoulders. Kaidan couldn't help but groan at the sudden explosion of ecstasy that danced along his nerves at her touch. Kissing Shepard was amazing; kissing Shepard while on meds was mind-blowing.

His tongue darted out to meet hers; without hesitation, she returned his touch. Kaidan reveled in her taste and the feel of the soft skin of her back under his calloused hands. Shepard languidly drew her nails down his chest and he shivered under her touch. After another passionate kiss, Kaidan drew back to catch his breath. He peered into Shepard's eyes and it hit him:

He was absolutely madly in love with her.

The very thought terrified him.

Kaidan blinked and backed up from the Commander, the backs of his calves running into Shepard's bed. He sat down and looked up at the woman in front of him. The expression on her face was indiscernible; an awkward silence pervaded the room. Kaidan had to say something. It was then that he remembered what he was going to tell Shepard before he fell asleep.

"I think the elevator is an elaborate prank, Shepard," he shook his head then looked up at a perplexed Shepard.

"Oh?" she crossed her arms, "What makes you think this?"

The Lieutenant sighed and made a frustrated gesture with his hands.

"There appears to be many more tiles than there ought to be with the size of the elevator shaft," Kaidan replied.

Shepard sat down next to him on the bed, wrapping her arm around his shoulder.

"So what you're saying is that there's a belt of tiles that moves at the same time that the elevator moves and its purpose is to make the Normandy look bigger than it actually is," the Commander supplied.

Kaidan nodded cautiously; the idea was a good one when he first thought of it. He was having second thoughts.

Shepard shook her head and mumbled a quick 'so adorable' before kissing her Lieutenant on the cheek. Smiling, she laid back on the bed and put her hands behind her head. A blushing Kaidan followed suit.

"You know," Shepard glanced over at the man next to her, "I really wonder who's killing all those scientists that worked on the Akuze project."

"I guess we'll find out soon," Kaidan mused, "hopefully we get there in time."

A tense quiet set over the couple. The Lieutenant wondered if there'd ever be a time when he and Shepard would be able to have a completely peaceful, worry-free moment. And as he looked at her, he realized that it was unlikely. The reapers were coming. To say, "maybe when this is all over," was a loaded statement.

Neither of them noticed the monkey that crept its way to the bed. Simon crawled up to nestle himself between the couple, making strange vocalizations as he did. Kaidan couldn't decide if the noise was a purr or a hoot; he looked down at the newly washed monkey and ran his hands through the creature's glossy fur.

No, there wouldn't be a time where he and Shepard could truly be at peace, but Kaidan would spend as much time with her as he could. It didn't matter if she loved him back or not. Somehow, her life had become intertwined with his and he knew that he would never be the same without her.

Kaidan gently picked Simon up and relocated him to the foot of the bed. Scooting closer to Shepard, he drew her into his arms and stared deeply into her eyes, silently begging her to read his mind and know that he loved her. His hand crept up to sweep her hair behind her ear; Shepard rewarded him by scooting closer and snuggling herself against him. She kissed him on the forehead and began to gently run her hands through his hair.

Her face was the last thing Kaidan saw before he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Shepard waited for Kaidan to fall asleep before she gently extracted herself from his arms. She sighed wistfully as she gazed on his sleeping form. The meds had made him rather affectionate. And though it was wonderful for him to say such sweet things to her, Shepard had to force herself to remember that it was pain meds that made him act so tenderly and nothing more.

She turned away from her sleeping Lieutenant and went to her terminal. At least she could catch up on her work. The console blinked to life under Shepard's touch. Soon, the Commander lost herself in the Eletania report.

A pair of hands settled on her shoulders and began to knead gently. Shepard glanced over at the bed and sighed; her mystery massager was Simon, not Kaidan. Receiving a massage from a space monkey was among one of the strangest things the Commander had experienced yet. Still, it wasn't quite what she wanted.

But what did she want?

Shepard looked over at the man in her bed once more. To say that she wanted him was an understatement. She shook her head, turned back to her console and zoned out.

Kaidan had changed her.

She'd always been looking out for herself only. She enjoyed her 'kill or be killed' lifestyle. It was simple; there were no rules other than the premise that nothing was to stand between her and herself. Shepard was convinced that she'd die in a blaze of glory. She didn't need or want anyone.

She wasn't afraid of dying; she was afraid of growing old.

Then she'd met Kaidan. Shepard wasn't sure when things had changed for her. In her experience, change had come quickly. Change was an epiphany or a sudden experience wrought from a brutal struggle.

But this change was different. She didn't know how it happened and it was the most terrifying and exciting change Shepard had experienced.

She found herself wanting to do everything she could for Kaidan; she needed him. Maybe it was because he'd shown her respect and caring out of a genuine heart.

Shepard chuckled to herself. Kaidan was one of the only people she'd known that wasn't out to get something from her and she didn't know how to deal with it.

The tricky part was that she wanted to give him something in return and always found that her efforts fell short. Nothing could compare to the amount of kindness he'd shown her. Nothing could compare to the new outlook on life that he'd provided for her.

She found herself feeling like a normal woman when he was around. She wasn't a galactic savior or the first human Spectre. She was Shepard, a woman with thoughts and feelings.

Her brows knit in confusion. She was in love with Kaidan Alenko.

Shepard sighed as Simon's massage stopped for a second then began to intensify. His previous aimless kneading turned into a pinpointed targeting of various groups of nerves.

"You look like you're thinking about something," Kaidan murmured directly into her ear.

Shepard bolted upright in her chair.

"Simon let me switch," the Lieutenant smiled, "you looked stressed out."

The Commander laughed awkwardly, the sound coming out in a squeak. Kaidan's hands slowed in their massage.

"Do you not want me touching you?" he asked, fear creeping into his voice.

"Oh, it's fine," Shepard regained her composure, "You just startled me. Feel free to touch as much as you want." She glanced at her terminal's clock and realized that she'd been working for three hours straight. Deciding that she deserved a break, Shepard shut her work down and sighed.

Kaidan lifted a brow and ushered her over to the bed to continue the massage. Shepard knelt on the bed, removing her bra without thinking. The Commander laid face-down on the bed as her Lieutenant moved to straddle her hips.

His hands roamed Shepard's back, seeking out key points that were sure to be sore in their line of work. Kaidan marveled at the soft paleness of her skin. And as he sat on her bottom, he was taken aback by how small Shepard actually was. Her personality was so huge and her confidence was so strong that he'd never noticed that behind them was a small-framed, lightly muscled woman. It struck him again that Shepard was so beautiful.

He shifted to get a better angle for the massage.

"Is the gun online, Lieutenant?" Shepard chuckled below him.

"Yes, the gun is online," Kaidan chuckled. "You're topless and I'm all over you. Of course the gun would be online."

A strange silence settled over the pair as their lighthearted mood shifted to one more primal. Shepard mentally weighed her options. On one hand, Kaidan was high out of his mind on meds. On the other hand, it was clear that he was interested in her in some form, even when he was sober. They were alone and would be alone for a few hours. Shepard pursed her lips; she'd made up her mind.

"Does the masseuse want to trade happy endings?" she asked.

The Commander heard a sharp intake of air from the man above her. Kaidan's hands massaged idle circles in between her shoulder blades as he tried to wrap his mind around her proposal. Shepard wanted to fool around.

"I'd like that," he murmured, his hands sliding up to massage around the base of her neck.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wanted this for a long time.

Later, Kaidan felt her nude form curl up next to him. He was content to lie there with her, all the while trying to ignore how complicated everything had just become.


	13. Breakfast

A/n: HI CAN WE HAVE SOME DLC NOW? DO WE REALLY HAVE TO WAIT TWO YEARS FOR MORE KAIDAN?????

*sobs into pillow*

Apologies for the micro-chapter. I'm not quite satisfied with it, but I needed to get the plot-ball rolling again. :(

* * *

It was surprising how easy it was for them to slip back into business mode; somehow, waking up next to each other hadn't been awkward in the least.

Kaidan told her, "good morning," and cuddled with her. After a while, he kissed her on the cheek, put his clothes on, and left with the promise that he was fit to go on the mission.

Shepard stretched lazily, her toes gripping the sheet and sliding it down her body. Simon lay at the foot of the bed. His gigantic, sleepy eyes seemed to question her as to why Kaidan had left.

"We have a job to do today," Shepard smiled, "you'll have to stay here."

Simon hooted and cocked his head to the side. Ignorance was bliss, and she wondered if he'd give the crew trouble when she left. Shepard opened and closed her mouth a few times, smacking her tongue around.

"My mouth tastes like a stale cock," she murmured.

Simon blinked at her, his head drifting to the side.

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Shepard chuckled, "but it was worth it."

She stepped into the shower and felt renewed. They didn't have sex, but just a little bit of fooling around was worth it. Admittedly, the Commander was quite proud of herself; in the past, she'd been the kind that was willing to have sex on the first date or even have a random encounter with a handsome stranger.

But this time, everything was different. They were moving slowly and it was just what Shepard needed. Sure, he could have had sex with her much sooner; the way she flirted with him was rather obvious. Maybe there was something more there, but Shepard couldn't quite figure it out.

She didn't know what she had with Kaidan, but it had slowly gone in a direction that she approved.

* * *

Kaidan meticulously ran a razor down the side of his face. Satisfied by the stroke, he repeated the process as Corproal Murray entered the bathroom. In his hand was a pair of clippers . The Corporal sneaked nervous glances in his direction.

"Don't clog up the sink, please," a towel-wrapped Kaidan murmured.

"Yes, sir," Murray replied, lining the sink with paper towels.

Satisfied that the he'd be able to prevent clogging the sink, the Corporal turned the clippers on and began his haircut.

"Yes, I know what you're doing," Kaidan sighed.

Murray jumped, the clippers almost lopping off a large chunk of his sandy hair. He turned to his superior officer, his eyes wide.

"You're buzzing your hair without being asked because you hope Shepard will notice you're putting in more effort," the Lieutenant shrugged.

"I..." Murray began, unable to find a respectable answer.

Kaidan finished shaving and splashed water on his face. Sighing, he turned to the younger man.

"Look, just do your job the right way and be confident," he offered a half-smile, "Shepard senses worry very well."

The Corporal's eyes widened in panic.

"Yeah, like that," Kaidan chuckled, "you'll be fine, kid. Finish your haircut."

Murray replied with a 'yes, sir' as the Lieutenant put on his uniform and headed out of the bathroom to the mess hall.

Shepard was already at the table, feeding bits of her breakfast to Simon.

Kaidan grabbed a tray of food and sat down next to her. Leaning over, he gave Shepard a quick peck on the cheek. A comfortable silence settled over the pair as they ate.

In the time that Simon was content to lick some pancake syrup out of a spoon, Shepard studied the man next to her. Her hand reached over to cup his cheek. Before she knew it, she was kissing him.

After a moment, Shepard pulled back and peered into his eyes.

"I might be falling for you," she smiled, "then again, it might be gas. It's been so long that I can't tell the difference."

He laughed, the sound delighting her. She put her hand on his arm to get his attention; they had to talk. She was tired of games, tired of flirting and kissing and not knowing what it meant. But she knew how she felt and needed to let him know.

"Kaidan," Shepard mumbled, "I...."

Oh God. This was tough.

He grabbed her hands and stared intently into her eyes.

"I love you, Shepard," Kaidan murmured, his thumbs rubbing circles on the backs of her hands.

"I was gonna say that, you know," she chuckled, "I love you."

"Well, I didn't know that," he replied, "but I'm glad. One of us had to say it."

For a moment they simply sat there, amazed that they'd finally come to admit their love for each other. It struck Shepard how completely normal the whole thing was; the confession of their feelings didn't involve explosions or a sudden rush of adrenaline from danger. It wasn't broadcast to the galaxy in some flowery admission of passion. It happened over breakfast; it was mundane and wonderful all at the same time.

"Entering Ontarom's orbit, Commander" blasted from the Normandy's comm system, startling the newly-formed couple.

"See you in the engineering bay, Lieutenant," she smiled.

Loving and being loved was sure to be fun.

* * *

The mission had gone from bad to worse from the moment the mako malfunctioned upon landing. It was one thing to have to drive in reverse the whole time, but was it was a whole different problem when they learned the truth behind the missing scientists.

The Commander stood with her Lieutenant in the middle of an isolated bunker, trying to negotiate with a jumpy Corporal Toombs.

"If you shoot him, you will be tried as a murderer," Shepard narrowed her eyes, "let me shoot him; I'm a Spectre, and I can shoot Cerberus pieces of shit like this one."

"Commander," Kaidan interjected, "he could stand trial and we could have Cerberus exposed."

Toombs looked between the officers in front of him, panic written across his face. What would they do?

"If Cerberus is behind this, then we don't know how much of their grubby mitts will be in the trial," the Commander replied. She paused for a moment in thought.

"I'll tell you what, Wayne," Shepard narrowed her eyes, "if you live long enough to become a prisoner, then use your second chance to do the right thing. If you bleed out, then it was supposed to happen."

The scientist's eyes widened in panic. Before he could protest, a gunshot rang out. Wayne crumbled to the floor, clutching his leg.

"So that's it?" Toombs asked. "It's finally over. Maybe the screaming will stop."

Shepard sighed and holstered her weapon.

"It won't," she shook her head, "but with time, you learn to live with the past. Just know that you will never be left behind."

"We're marines," Kaidan nodded grimly, "we stick together."

They ushered Toombs out to the mako; Shepard signaled the Fifth Fleet to take care of the bleeding scientist. Toombs would be coming with them. His emotional state was such that he needed to be in the company of others. The Commander intended to make good on her promise that he would never be left behind.

* * *

As Joker reviewed the previous day's security footage, he was able to conclude one thing:

Shepard knew how to suck a dick.

It had only been a matter of time until such footage made its way to the pilot's collection of interesting things that he'd found on the security cameras. Joker liked knowing everything he could about the crew, for better or for worse. It was especially fun to watch Alenko and Shepard's interactions; if their outrageous flirting was to be any indication, it was safe to say that they'd be having sex sometime soon.

Joker was surprised that they hadn't had sex yet.

Admittedly, he'd felt bad at first when he saw Shepard having private time in her quarters. But after a while, he'd grown accustomed to his little peep show. Shepard was gorgeous and nobody would know what he was up to. Joker could even ignore that she began to moan Kaidan's name every time she used that glass dildo for the past three months.

"Good morning, baby," drifted into his earpeice. He watched Kaidan roll over and kiss Shepard on the cheek.

Joker sighed and turned the video off. The fact that his friend was madly in love with the woman that he liked to watch put quite a damper on his voyeuristic fun.

He'd be back to watching when they quit being mushy and started the good stuff.

* * *

Liara sighed and held Simon closer to her body with her free arm. He was such a needy creature; upon entering Ontarom's orbit, he had to be pried off of Shepard so she could complete her assignment. When he saw that Shepard would indeed be leaving without him, he latched on to his next favorite person, Kaidan.

And oh how the creature wailed when he was separated yet again.

Simon had been entrusted to the care of Corporal Murray, but he wasn't able to console the monkey. Like a distrustful toddler, Simon hid from the person he didn't know. It took many bribes and sweet words to get Simon to reluctantly follow Murray.

He didn't know where the idea to visit Dr. T'soni came from, but Murray was glad he'd thought of it. Simon took to Liara instantly. He watched the asari pet Simon as she browsed the extranet.

"Pyjack," Liara nodded at the monkey, "you are a pyjack, Simon."

Her eyes rapidly scanned the page, soaking in the information instantly. Shutting down the browser, she turned in her chair.

"Apparently, he'll adapt to almost any environment and can eat almost anything," Liara said.

"So," the Corporal replied, "I take it that Commander Shepard will be happy with this information?"

She nodded and Murray sighed in relief.

"I'm glad," he murmured, running his hands through his shortly cropped hair, "I want her to approve. I want to be the best."

Liara smiled at the young human in front of her.

"Shepard may be gruff but she cares," she said.

The Corporal shook his head in disagreement. Commander Shepard was completely ruthless and took no pity on anyone.

"No ma'am," Murray sighed, "if it weren't for Lieutenant Alenko, I'm positive that she would have dumped me off somewhere as quickly as she could."

"I promise you," Liara smiled, "Shepard cares a lot for her crew. She sees something in you; that is why she chewed you out."

"You know her well, then?" he asked.

"I-I try to, yes," the asari responded, her face flushing.

"Maybe it's just her Commander face that I'm seeing," Murray sighed, "It's tough having a female CO, especially a pretty one like her. If she wouldn't kill me for saying that, I'm sure Lieutenant Alenko would."

"Tell me about him," Liara said.

She wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Why was Shepard so madly in love with him? She understood the physical aspect well enough.

"Um, well," the Corporal shifted in his seat, "he's the kind of CO that everybody wants. He's tough, but very fair, the kind of guy everyone looks up to."

Liara nodded slowly. She knew these things. What she didn't know was how it transitioned into Shepard loving Kaidan.

"But isn't it strange about him and Shepard?" she asked.

"Eh," he shrugged, "It's not really my place to say."

Liara sighed in frustration. She wouldn't get anything out of him.

But, she was a scientist and a researcher at heart. Maybe it was time that she had a talk with Shepard.


	14. Tea for One

Long a/n: People have asked me why I haven't posted the explicit parts of my work on this site. This is a very valid question and I'd like to take the time to answer it the best I can.

Yes, I know that many authors will post explicit work here, but I don't. I've read a lot of complaints from various sources that state that they read an M fic on here and did not expect explicit content and furthermore did not want to see it. I recall the phrase "eye bleach" being used XD

I have a link to my work on aff from here. It's on my profile. It's easy to access.

Another reason that I have is that I want the freedom to go anywhere with my explicit content. I could probably get away with a normal lemon or masturbation scene on here. But something like sub/dom or choking? Roleplaying? All the other nasty, kinky sex I have planned for this fic? Not so much. It's an all or nothing kind of deal, you know? If you want to read explicit versions, just follow the stories on aff :)

* * *

Corporal Toombs stood in the engineering bay, transfixed by a picture of a woman in a frame. She looked young, probably in her mid-twenties, and her dark eyes held a determined fire. The woman wore the Alliance uniform, her hair and makeup done perfectly to regulation. He could tell that she was no-nonesense from the fierce look on her unconventionally beautiful face.

She was dead.

He knew she was; there wouldn't be a picture otherwise. How did she die? Toombs hoped it didn't hurt her too much; his unit was not so fortunate. Thresher acid slowly dissolved armor and flesh. He still remembered the pain and the screams that roared through his head whenever it got too quiet. And the Corporal knew that the VAO would tell him that he had PTSD. Then they'd give him medication that made him number than he already was; perhaps they'd make him talk about what happened.

Toombs tensed up when he heard someone approach.

"They are our best friends; they become closer than words can describe," Shepard murmured.

He nodded, still staring at the picture.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, killed in action," she sighed.

"That's what they tell you to say," Toombs murmured, "but it's not just 'killed in action'."

Shepard nodded solemnly, focusing intently on the photo.

"Ash, my only sister," she mumbled, "sentenced to death because I had to choose who had to live or die."

"Why?" Toombs asked, his voice taking on a child-like tone.

"There were two teams," Shepard replied, "Ash was in one, Kaidan in the other. Geth had her team pinned down at her location; Kaidan and a small group were guarding a bomb. The bomb was about to go off; I had to choose."

"Secure the bomb, save the higher ranking soldier," the Corporal murmured, "Why did the corporal live while everyone else died?"

Shepard sighed and shook her head, her eyes downcast.

"I don't know why shit happens the way it does," she said, putting a tentative arm around Toombs' shoulder. "What I do know is that when life gives you another chance, you take it."

"They're going to give me drugs and then leave me," he said.

"You'll get some therapy too," Shepard replied, "they'll check in with you. You aren't going to be ditched, Corporal."

Toombs visibly shook, his hands balling into fists. The Commander placed a reassuring hand on his arm and ushered him toward the elevator to get him to the med bay. Every so often, Toombs glanced backward at the photo of Ash, seemingly unwilling to part with it.

Shepard felt the hawk-like gazes of Garrus and Wrex upon her as she approached the elevator.

"I've got some tea in my quarters," she said, her voice louder than necessary, "it's got valerian root extract in it. It's a gentle, natural sedative; I drink some to sleep easier sometimes. You look tired, Toombs. Would you like some tea?"

His response was a dull affirmative, the elevator doors shutting behind them. As they slowly trekked to the middle level, Shepard calculated her next move. Toombs was ready to snap at any moment. And though Shepard cared about the Corporal, the safety of her crew took precedence. He had to be sedated.

Doing so without further traumatizing Toombs would be a risky task. He was already worried about being given drugs, and thanks to Cerberus, was likely terrified of syringes. And there was no way that he'd agree to being sedated.

When the elevator doors opened, Shepard ushered Toombs to the mess table and signaled for Murray to keep an eye on him. Over in the corner, her Lieutenant worked diligently, his hands flying over his work console. She hated to break his concentration, but she'd need his help in case things got out of hand.

"Lieutenant," Shepard called, immediately gaining his attention, "my office please."

"Yes, ma'am" he replied. He'd been meaning to talk to her.

Kaidan followed Shepard into her quarters. The doors closed behind him and he took the opportunity to pounce. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind, his head resting on top of hers. Kaidan inhaled deeply, taking pleasure in her clean, musky scent. Sighing, he ran his hands down to her hips and drew body flush against his.

"I want you tonight," Kaidan murmured.

His mouth traveled to the area behind her ear to plant a row of kisses down her neck. Shepard stepped forward, trying to remove herself from his amorous advances. He followed hips first, his body staying in contact with hers as much as possible.

"Love you," he cooed. Bringing his face to the back of her neck, Kaidan hunched his back in order keep his hips in contact with her backside. He inhaled deeply into the bottom of her hairline; he'd never tire of her smell.

"I've got to sedate Toombs," Shepard sighed.

She broke out of Kaidan's embrace and turned around to see him giving her a puppy face.

"Wait, what?" he hook his head, trying to change gears.

"He's losing it," Shepard replied, "I have to sedate him. He's becoming a liability."

She turned from her Lieutenant to rummage through her storage cabinet. Grabbing a mug and a bag of tea, she closed the door.

"Why are you getting tea?" Kaidan asked, suspicious.

"I'm going to put the meds in the tea and give it to Toombs," she shrugged, "I need you to be aware of the situation." Shepard turned to leave. She was set to take care of the problem.

"You can't do that!" Kaidan exclaimed, gently grabbing her arm.

"Why the hell not?" She countered, wrenching her arm away.

Kaidan's jaw dropped. He knew she was willing to do whatever it took to get her job done, but this crossed the line.

"It's completely unethical!" he said, throwing his arms in the air.

"Kaidan, you know me," Shepard hissed, "you know I wouldn't do this if it weren't for the right reasons."

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Knowing that Shepard had already thought of all possible outcomes to the situation, he was torn.

"Fine," Kaidan sighed, "but next time, I won't be so nice about it."

Shepard turned to face him and sauntered over.

"And what will you do next time?" she purred.

"I'll punish you, naughty girl," Kaidan growled, his hands seeking her hips.

He leaned over and planted his mouth on hers. Immediately, his tongue darted out to taste her. Kaidan ignored the awkward jab of the coffee mug that Shepard held in favor of drawing her closer. Memories of them messing around the other night flooded his mind as his hands roamed her body. Now that he knew where they stood, he wasn't going to hold back. Shepard pushed against his chest, effectively breaking off the kiss.

"Down boy," she chuckled, "we've got a traumatized soldier on board that will need constant monitoring regardless of if he's passed out on meds or not. Better cool it down or we'll end up spending the whole night hot and bothered."

"Too late," Kaidan huffed.

Shepard laughed and he cracked a smile. Yes, she was right. He'd rather have the whole night to themselves than to worry about anything pressing. Waiting would make everything worthwhile.

Kaidan followed her as she exited her quarters, exchanging a quick, affectionate gesture before turning his eyes to the mess table where Toombs was seated. Accompanying him was the dutiful Murray. Toombs talked in a rushed voice; Murray nodded and listened, trying to exude calmness to his traumatized counterpart.

Shepard and Kaidan made their way to the med bay to acquire the meds. Handing the mug to Kaidan and motioning for him to get hot water, the Commander spoke to Dr. Chakwas. Kaidan set about his work and intentionally ignored the heated debate between the doctor and Shepard. He was a neutral party in the matter; he had interest on both sides of the argument. Regardless of whether or not the tea would be drugged, Toombs would drink it.

"Make sure you do it right," Shepard's voice drifted over to him.

Kaidan chuckled and arched a brow in her direction.

"It's tea," he replied, "boil water and pour it into a cup. Add the bag. The end."

"But, if you cover it, you keep the steam inside," Shepard said.

"And what does that accomplish if he's going to drink it soon anyway?" Kaidan asked.

"It..." she trailed off, unable to think of an answer. "You just do it that way! Goddamn."

Shepard stormed out of the med bay as Kaidan chuckled and poured the water over the teabag. With a whoosh of air, the Commander was back, a plate tightly clutched in her hands. She grabbed the mug from Kaidan and put it on Chakwas' desk, slapping the plate on top of the mug with more force than necessary. Kaidan watched Shepard attempt to intimidate the tea into brewing faster with her glare alone. He could tell that she wasn't genuinely angry. Her mouth drew into a small pout, her brows furrowed. Her posture was hunched and her arms crossed. She looked more like a little waif than a fierce intergalactic special agent. Kaidan liked it when she pouted; it was too adorable.

Shepard's face slowly relaxed as the tea brewed. Reaching forward, she removed the plate and drained the excess tea from the bag.

"Here," Dr. Chakwas frowned, "this is on you. I will not put these in that drink."

She handed the Commander a cluster of capsules. Without preamble, Shepard uncapped them and dumped their powdery contents into the tea. With the capsules came a generous dose of sweetener to disguise the medicine's taste. She stirred the drink and left the med bay, her Lieutenant following behind her dutifully.

Shepard noted that Toombs stayed right where he had been. Placing the tea in front of the strung-out Corporal, she waited for it to take effect. It wouldn't be long before Toombs fell safely asleep.

* * *

Hours later, Shepard sat at her desk, typing reports as quickly as she could. She'd been staring at her console too long; the letters blurred together into an endless stream of military jargon that sugar coated the fact that she'd drugged a traumatized man against his will.

The Commander heard a beep from her console. Someone was trying to call her. Glancing at the signature, she sighed. It was Anderson. Shepard pressed the button on her console to accept the untraceable call.

"Shepard," the Councilman's voice entered the room, "I have news that you need to hear about before you dock at the Citadel."

"What kind of news, sir?" she asked, hoping that it wouldn't interfere with her work.

"The Alliance has issued a statement about what happened between you and Alenko on the elevator two weeks ago. They've also released the elevator security footage as proof that the media took things out of context," Anderson said.

Shepard opened her mouth but found herself unable to come up with some form of rebuttal.

"That being said, the Alliance has stated that there were insufficient grounds to accuse the both of you of fraternization," he sighed, "at least, that's the official word. Classified files made accurate note of the truth of your relationship and will remain classified."

"So they're just sweeping everything under the rug," Shepard murmured.

Anderson sighed and ran his hands through his thinning hair. Shepard was always blunt about things. He knew he could count on her to complete her mission and be able to accept the risks with the grim determination and stubbornness she was capable of. Yet at the same time, Anderson knew that her sharp tongue was a liability. In fact, it was the reason that he'd picked the soft-spoken Alenko to be one of her officers. The Councilman had no idea that he'd become a matchmaker in the process.

"Essentially, yes," he replied, "your mission is too important for us to bog you down with regulations like that. You and Alenko are both too valuable to the Alliance to charge with fraternization, but the Alliance needs to support its own regulations. That being said, we are asking you to be discreet with your relationship; if you are not, then the Alliance will be forced to bring charges against you."

Anderson finished his sentence with a nod, a clear indication that he was done speaking about the matter.

"Understood, sir," Shepard replied, "there will not be any problems."

They said their goodbyes and the Commander leaned back in her chair, a large grin spread across her face. It made her happy beyond belief that the Alliance had issued a statement about her and Kaidan. She didn't care that it was, on all accounts, a complete and utter lie. Sure, they weren't together at the time that she and Kaidan had been caught dancing in the elevator, but it didn't matter. They were something now. It relieved Shepard that they wouldn't be hounded by the press over their relationship. There wouldn't be the swirling rumors of breakups and affairs that most famous people tended to receive.

Shepard and Kaidan would be together without the meddling of others. Suddenly, the world had gotten a lot less complicated.

Commander Shepard shut down her console work in favor of going to bed. Sleep would come easily that night.


	15. Interlude: Dreams

A/n: This is a quick interlude of sexy dreams.

* * *

That night, she dreamed of nipples.

They were tiny, dark rose colored things and they were attached to a muscular chest that had a light sprinkling of dark hair. And as she gazed upon them, she knew she'd been acquainted with this pair of nipples before. Shepard glanced up and was happy to find that Kaidan was indeed their owner.

"Hello," she purred, running her hands across his chest.

He peered at her though hooded eyes and gave her a lopsided grin. Shepard returned his grin, finding a personal challenge from his cocky visage. She leaned in and flicked her tongue across his nipple; her reward was a loud hiss. Knowing that she found the right spot, Shepard returned to the nipple and gently bit down, her tongue swooping in to caress the entrapped bud.

Kaidan gasped, his hips thrusting forward against her lithe form. His hands shot out to grip her hips as he wantonly ground himself against her. Shepard laughed outright; he was certainly needy. She brought her mouth to his other nipple and suckled gently, her hips rotating to grind her sex into his lap.

"So, you like it like this?" she murmured, "because I can think of all kinds of ways to torture until you beg for..."

Her sentence was cut off by a slap to the face.

Shepard gasped in indignation.

"What the..."

Another slap.

Shepard bolted upright and found herself staring into the inquisitive eyes of Simon. She sighed, glaring at the pyjack.

"Next time I am having an erotic dream, do not, under any circumstance, wake me up," she huffed.

Shepard yawned and stretched. Hot and bothered would have to be the unfortunate mood of the day.

* * *

Kaidan knew that they were right there; all he had to do was reach out and grab them.

Hips. Shepard's hips, to be more precise.

They made her tiny ass look like a little heart in her armor. Just when he'd been wondering if there was any possible way that he could get even hornier around her, it'd happened. He wanted her more than ever before.

The Lieutenant stalked his prey; she was there, standing in front of the table in her quarters. His hands twitched in anticipation as he formed a quick mental plan of attack. He'd come upon her quickly and seize her hips.

Thus decided, Kaidan watched for the proper moment. As Shepard bent over the table to grab an OSD, he leaped into action. His hands gripped her hips as he ground himself into her from behind.

"Ooo," Shepard purred, "you caught me. What will you do now?"

A silly grin spread across his face; he continued to thrust against her. Jolts of pleasure spread from the bulge in his pants outward. Kaidan didn't want to stop.

"Are you going to fuck me?" she teased. She rubbed back against him.

"Yesssss," he hissed.

Somewhere between his brain and his groin, a communications link had been severed. Kaidan continued to wantonly hump against her. If he could stop for just long enough for them to remove their clothes, it would be very worthwhile.

"So, are you?" Shepard asked, her tone growing impatient.

Kaidan found himself unable to speak as his body continued to disobey its orders. His hips merrily chugged along, completely against his will.

"Kaidan?" she asked, "Kaidan!" Shepard's voice grew increasingly impatient.

He awoke to find himself grinding against the bottom of his sleeper pod, a silly grin spread across his face.

"Kaidan," Shepard sighed, "Please wake up." Her voice came from the small speaker inside the pod.

"I'm up," he replied, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Good. We're docking at the Citadel soon. Meet me at the airlock in your armor within the hour," she ordered.

Kaidan didn't have time to reply as the communications shut off. Grumbling to himself about how pissy Shepard seemed and his impossibly painful erection, the Lieutenant opened the sleeper pod. Thankfully, nobody was around to witness him perform the 'waistband tuck' before he left to get ready to join Shepard.

Though his armor would hide any physical evidence, hot and bothered would be the unfortunate mood of the day.


	16. Old and New

A/n: I took an alignment quiz for Faith Shepard because I was curious about what she'd turn out to be. Here are the results, and I find them to be spot-on:

You Scored as **Lawful Evil: **A Lawful Evil person is someone who respects laws, customs, or traditions, but will try to bend them to suit their own needs. These people have little concern for others they hurt, being intrinsically self motivated. Despite this, they value order and obedience to authority.

Lawful Evil 85%

Chaotic Evil 80%

True Neutral 70%

Chaotic Good 65%

Neutral Evil 65%

Lawful Good 55%

Chaotic Neutral 50%

Neutral Good 35%

Lawful Neutral 30%

* * *

The glow of an omni tool lit Kaidan's face as he read a message from his mother. As soon as he finished reading the message, the Lieutenant felt a headache begin to stir behind his eyes. He put his omni tool away in favor of making his way to the airlock. There he saw Liara with Toombs and Shepard. Simon perched atop the Commander's shoulders, his hands picking their way through her glossy black hair. Shepard turned to address Kaidan.

"We're going to get Toombs to the Ambassador's office," she explained. "From there, he will rendezvous with the people that are going to work with him. After that, we'll be getting another assignment. Is everyone clear on that?"

She turned to catch the eye of everyone in her party as she acknowledged each person's affirmation. A chipper 'yes' and a nod came from Liara. There was a crisp 'aye-aye, ma'am' from Kaidan. And from the drowsy Corporal came something unintelligible that resembled Kaidan's response. Toombs added in a flailing salute for extra measure.

The shore party made their way from the Normandy's private docking bay to C-Sec. While Kaidan supported Toombs with his arm, Shepard summoned a rapid transit cab to drop them off at the embassies. The view of the Citadel blurred by the group and in a short amount of time, they had arrived at their destination.

After taking the flight of stairs to the embassy, the group stopped short. In front of the door stood a middle aged man who wore a suit. He was flanked by two of the most finely polished guards Shepard had seen in a long time. The manner in which they composed themselves seemed odd to her. The unarmed man stood straight and stiff-jawed, all the while tensely rubbing his fingers together. His guards slouched in their carefully polished armor. They eyed the human embassy door like it was on fire.

"Didn't feel like troubling the Councilor with a traumatized veteran?" Shepard asked.

The guards snapped to attention and quickly saluted the Spectre.

"Commander Shepard," the suited man took a step forward, "Dr. Richard Wernth. I work closely with the Veterans Affairs office in rehabilitating our veterans."

He reached to shake her hand while the unresponsive Commander stared at him for a moment, blankly studying him. Like many times before, she found herself pondering the meaning of a handshake, especially from a man like this who appeared to be as phony as a politician. Shepard knew that he was wondering why she wouldn't shake his hand. A blink later, she knew that he perceived her to be another slow meathead that he'd encountered many times before in working with the Alliance. Now that Shepard had him feeling falsely secure, she offered her hand.

Kaidan stood back and watched his Commander closely. She liked to have fun with people like the man in front of them. They shook hands and the man nodded, his eyes quickly darting down to steal a glance at Shepard's breasts. Kaidan tensed up in anger. He almost snapped when the doctor glanced over at Liara then back to Shepard. Just who the hell did the man think he was?

"So, did you want to meet your patient, or were you going continue to leer at me and my teammate?" Shepard snapped, a cocky grin plastered to her face.

The doctor's eyes impassively regarded Toombs as his guards' faces turned red, trying to hold in laughter. He nodded curtly then turned to the Commander.

"I'll make sure that he's taken care of," Dr. Wernth said, "I've seen many PTSD patients."

"Then talk to the patient, not me," Shepard hissed.

Corporal Toombs swayed on his feet, barely registering the conversation.

"Mr. Toombs, I'm your doctor," Wernth droned, "you'll be coming with me today."

For a moment the traumatized Corporal snapped out of his medicine induced haze.

"I don't want to go, Commander," he whined, "I want to stay with you and Lieutenant Alenko and Liara and Murray."

Before anyone could answer, Simon reached out placed a hand on the Corporal's shoulder. A loud hoot came out of his tiny mouth.

"You too, Simon," Toombs smiled.

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way," the Doctor replied, "Commander Shepard's time is very valuable and you are in need of recovery. We should leave –"

"Corporal," Shepard interjected, "your current assignment is to get counseling. I know you'll be fine." She turned her hawkish gaze to the Dr. Wernth. "And so help me, if you don't take care of him, I will flay you alive with my mind," she smiled.

With that, the panicked doctor and his guards gathered Toombs and left as soon as possible. The now quiet hallway held a grinning Shepard and her shore party.

"You'll flay him alive with your mind?" Liara murmured, "That was good. I'll have to remember that one."

Kaidan turned to the asari and lifted an eyebrow.

"Don't you start picking up Shepard's nasty habits," he chided, "you're a good girl."

Shepard spun around and narrowed her eyes at her Lieutenant. Stepping forward, she brought her face as close to his as possible.

"So, what are you saying Kaidan?" she asked, "Am I a bad girl with nasty habits?"

"Perhaps," he replied, his voice becoming hoarse.

"Then I'll just have to show you some of those bad habits," Shepard chuckled. She turned away from him to walk to the embassy door.

"I'd like that," Kaidan murmured, reaching out to quickly squeeze her bottom before the doors opened.

A blushing Shepard entered the human embassy, her ground crew behind her. She glanced around the room; Udina was nowhere to be found. This made her extremely happy. The presence of Admiral Hackett was a surprise, albeit not an unpleasant one.

"Shepard," Anderson smiled, "it's good to see you. We've got two things for you. I'll let the Admiral go first." He stood from behind his desk, stretching his muscles that had been cramped from sitting for so long.

"The Alliance needs you, Shepard, and we all agree that you're the only one that can get this job done the right way," Hackett grumbled, his mustache awakening like an ancient monster.

Shepard listened carefully, a smile breaking out on her face at the sight of Hackett's mustache.

"We need you to negotiate a cease fire – " he continued.

A sharp bark of laughter cut him off.

"You're kidding," Shepard chuckled, "Admiral, I'm the last person who should be negotiating a cease fire." She wiped at her tearing eyes.

"You can and you will," Hackett replied, "Shepard, the person we need you to talk to is named Darius. He has a group that has been interfering with mining efforts. You can find him in the Hades Gamma cluster, in Plutus system on the planet Nonuel. We will be forwarding details to your ship."

"Yes sir," she said, "but I still think this is a bad idea. You may want to send a negotiator instead."

"Shepard, Darius is a warrior," the Admiral sighed, "he'll respect you."

"Um, quite frankly, I'm a bitch," Shepard pointed an accusatory finger at herself, "I could end up getting pissed off and killing the shit out of him."

"The Alliance cannot be held accountable for the actions of a Spectre," Hackett stared her in the eyes, "You're being sent in there, Spectre. End of story."

Shepard blinked a few times before glancing back at her Lieutenant. His ever expressive right eyebrow quirked upward slightly, the only outward sign that he found the Admiral's choice of assignment to be strange. Kaidan was looked so cute in that moment; she resisted the insatiable urge to throw him against the wall and kiss him. Shepard shook her head. There would be time for that later. She had to talk to Hackett about one more thing.

"Sir," she said, "I hate to ask something of you, but I feel compelled to."

The older man nodded in reply, his mustache twitching slightly.

"The man we picked up on Ontarom, Corporal Toombs, is in the care of someone named Dr. Wernth. In the brief time that I talked with him, I found that it had been abundantly clear that he did not care about his patient. Toombs deserves better," Shepard declared.

"How set are you on this?" the Admiral grumbled.

"I will use my Spectre status and go in there with my gun if I have to," Shepard replied, her voice low.

Hackett nodded once and stared out at the Presidium in thought. Turning to the Commander, he activated his omni-tool.

"What was the name again?" he asked.

"Wernth, sir," she replied.

The Admiral nodded again and entered the name. After a moment, the omni-tool's glow dissipated.

"Shepard," he sighed, "If it were anyone but you, I'd tell you to take a hike. But you have good instincts; everyone has seen this firsthand. I've sent in an order to have Toombs discreetly referred to another doctor. We'll look through patient reviews and see if there's anything else to further investigate."

"I appreciate it," Shepard nodded, genuinely surprised that the Admiral had taken her request.

"Not a problem," he replied, "Now I must attend to business." Hackett said his goodbyes and he and his mustache left the room, the semi-awkward pall of acquaintanceship leaving with him.

Anderson turned to Shepard and smiled. He was proud of his protege; she'd accomplished more than he could have dreamed. More importantly, without her, everyone would be dead. The fact that his thought wasn't an exaggeration was sobering.

"Shepard," he cleared his throat, "while things settle down around here, we want you to search the Traverse for remaining geth. They may have important intel. It's also important that the remaining stragglers be put down before more problems start."

"That seems simple enough," Shepard replied, "I'll keep you posted."

Out of habit, she saluted the Councilman. He saluted back and the two exchanged a quick chuckle over their old habit. Motioning to her crew to follow, Shepard stepped out of the embassy and into the hallway. As soon as they had left the room, Kaidan activated his omni-tool, a frown creasing his face.

"What's up?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan's hand quickly rattled off a message, his frown increasing.

"My family is here on vacation," he replied, "they're at Flux right now."

He didn't need to say anything more; Shepard understood the situation. She'd never known her family and from what Kaidan had told her about his, she was a little glad that she hadn't. Things were different for biotic children. Their families didn't understand them and Kaidan's was no exception.

"Do what you need," she smiled, "Liara and I will do some shopping. Message me when you want to leave."

Shepard pulled him in for a quick hug; Kaidan missed the devilish smirk on her face.

* * *

Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko sat at a table with a man and a woman. The woman's name was Wendy or Mom. Her companion, who appeared to be as annoyed as a dog wearing clothes, was named William or Father. His name wasn't Dad.

"And there you go again," Kaidan's mom giggled, "you get just like your father did when he was in uniform; he always zoned out, thinking about the stuff he had to do. So, anyway, Katlyn and her friends..."

Katlyn was a name that meant so much to Kaidan and yet so little. After he'd been gone at BAaT, he'd returned to a toddler in his house. She was his sister and she'd been everything he couldn't be. Katlyn was a normal human girl; she wasn't biotic, she made average grades, and she had normal relationships.

Kaidan didn't get to know her.

He didn't resent his sister nor did he resent his mother. Instead, the Lieutenant found himself entirely ambivalent. He spoke with them because it was normal to do so and was expected of him. His parents would never understand him; eventually they stopped trying. His mom found it easy to just act like nothing had happened, like he hadn't come back from BAaT as a lonely, broken teen. His father found it easy to hide behind a mask of stoicism, like he didn't care what happened with his son. Instead, Kaidan's parents poured all their hopes and dreams of grandchildren and normalcy on Katlyn.

Kaidan once again found himself on the outside looking in as a young woman of sixteen approached the table with her friends. Since when had Katlyn become so old? Her baby fat had disappeared and left a softly shaped teen in its wake.

"Hi," she smiled and waved. It was a spazzy teen wave.

Kaidan returned her greeting with a small smile and found it sad that he didn't know his own sister enough to give her a hug. She introduced him to her gaggle of giggling friends; he immediately forgot their names. And while they sat and sucked down fake apple-tinis, his mom turned her attention toward him.

"So, what is it like to work with Commander Shepard?" she asked.

"Well, it's certainly different than any assignment I've been on before," he replied, "She runs everything smoothly and I have to say that she's the best CO I've had yet. She's firm but fair and extremely passionate about our job."

Kaidan noted how his father perked up a bit at the mention of Shepard and of work. Years of being in the service and being a biotic gave the Lieutenant the means of reading people. His father felt trapped at times; he longed for the adventure that he had while he was in the Alliance.

Kaidan heard whispers across the table that he was sure his parents couldn't hear. Apparently Katlyn's friends thought he was a 'total hottie'. He listened to his sister being grossed out. He heard the blonde friend ask for his contact information. The brunette thought his armor was sexy. The scrawny one just stared and blushed.

"And the Normandy. That's got to be exciting, being on a prototype ship," his mom added.

"It is," he replied, "Normandy is incredible. If they can find a way to make the technology we have available to other ships, we'll end up saving a lot of lives."

His father seemed to perk up even more at the mention of the ship, though he made no move to ask any questions. He knew information regarding the Normandy would be classified, but he could have easily figured out a way to ask a question that didn't involve classified information. Kaidan's heart fell though he knew that he should have expected his father to not make an effort to converse with him.

"Any pretty girls on the ship?" Kaidan's mom asked.

"Mother," Kaidan sighed, "that is wholly improper and you know it." He knew the next portion of conversation by heart.

"I was just wondering if you were going to get married sometime, dear," she smiled, "I want grandchildren and the Alenko name needs to be carried on."

His father snorted, his eyes transfixed on the view of the nebula.

"Now don't be like that!" his mom huffed and slapped her husband on the arm.

"He doesn't want a woman," his father groused, "that's obvious."

Kaidan activated his omni-tool and sent a quick message to Shepard. He didn't want to drag the visit with his family on any longer.

"William," his mom hissed, her eyes wide. It was clear that they'd discussed this before.

For the first time since their visit, his father looked him in the eye. The look said 'you are not the son that I wanted'. Kaidan stared back with equal disappointment, the phrase 'I deserved better than you' repeating in his head. He hated how his father was one of the few people that could make him lose control of his emotions.

Kaidan also hated how his parents were so out of touch that they didn't know his sexual preference. It was painfully obvious that they currently assumed that he was gay. There was no point in correcting them; his parents would assume whatever they believed.

A tense silence settled over the table. Even Katlyn's gaggle of friends had stopped talking in favor of quietly sipping on their drinks. Kaidan felt bad that they had been dragged into observing his family's dysfunctional mess.

"Lieutenant," a familiar voice cut through the silence.

Kaidan turned to see a Simon-adorned Shepard and Liara approach. They were holding hands; in the Commander's unoccupied hand was a large bag from an adult store named 'The Toy Chest'. He found himself wondering what kind of goodies Shepard had bought for him rather than his current uncomfortable situation with his family.

A flurry of whispering behind him reminded him of where he was. He heard the blonde friend mention Shepard's fansite. The brunette thought her makeup was super cute. The scrawny one just sighed and said that she wanted to look like Shepard. He listened to his sister mention that Shepard could probably hear them; this made him smirk. Perhaps they weren't so different.

"Commander," Kaidan stood and smiled, "thanks for letting me see my family. This is my mom, Wendy and my father, William. And this is Katlyn, my sister, and those are her friends."

"Sup," Shepard nodded.

"This is Commander Shepard and Dr. Liara T'Soni, who is part of our crew," he continued.

Kaidan found this to be among one of the most awkward yet humorous introductions that he'd had the privilege of performing. His parents eyed Shepard, wondering why she held hands with an alien crewmember and carried a bag from an illicit shop. He then watched with horror as Liara beamed at his mother and offered an extremely praise-filled greeting; his mother's eyes lit up with renewed hope. This woman, though alien, thought her son was 'a truly rare example of the potential of human biotics' and was 'extremely kind and accepting'.

"I'd love to have everyone chat," Shepard interjected, "but unfortunately we have many people to kill." She said it with a smile so unnerving and charming that it diffused the awkward exchange.

The Lieutenant hugged his mom goodbye and waved to Katlyn; father received a grunt and a nod. He left the familiar strangers behind to go home with his love and his friend.

* * *

"So, what is it like to have a father?" Liara asked.

Beams of light surrounded the ground crew as the decon scan ran. Shepard stayed back from her normal place at the front of the group and had opted to sandwich Kaidan between Liara and herself. He felt surrounded, though it wasn't an unwelcome or obtrusive feeling.

"I don't know," he replied, staring at the floor.

Shepard leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Her armored fingers wove their way between his.

"But, I just met him today," Liara said, "so I do not understand what you mean."

"He was absent most of the time," Kaidan murmured, "I never got to know him; whenever we speak, it's like talking to a stranger."

"Oh!" the asari gasped, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something uncomfortable."

"It's fine," he replied, "you didn't know. I'll tell you something, though. Friends are ten times better than family."

Kaidan wrapped his arm around Liara's shoulder and gave her a small hug. Though she was much older than him, he felt protective of her; it was the same way he'd felt about Ash. He sighed as he thought about the fallen soldier. Kaidan felt strung out from the day's events.

Shepard leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, bringing a smile to his face. How did she know the right moment to do what she did?

The decon finished and the doors opened; it was time to put the command face on. The shore party disarmed and dispersed. Shepard packed her toys away and gave the new course to navigation. Soon, the Normandy slipped off into the inky blackness of space.

And with every light year the ship took Kaidan from his family, the less troubled he became. An hour passed before he received a page from Shepard in her quarters. The Lieutenant approached the door, wondering what shenanigans she'd be up to this time.

"Oh my God, you've got to help me!" came out of the door as soon as it shot open.

Shepard sat at her console, her hands in her hair. She wore fatigues and, much to Kaidan's dismay, the shopping bag from earlier had disappeared entirely.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"The Ontarom report was due, like, yesterday," Shepard replied, her eyes wide, "and I am so shitty at writing. I've reread it and re-reread it and it still looks like a child wrote it."

Kaidan closed his eyes and chuckled. Ever since he'd been stationed on the Normandy, he'd proofread and corrected Shepard's reports.

"Let me take a look at it," he smiled.

The Lieutenant took her seat at the console and quickly shuffled through the report while she squatted next to him and leaned on his arm. He sighed and put his face in his hands. It was the worst report he'd seen yet.

"It's awful, isn't it?" Shepard whined, "I'm such an awful writer and I'm so sorry that I keep doing this but you're so smart and I'm not and you went to school and I didn't and –"

Kaidan reached up, gently cupped her chin and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"You're plenty smart, Shepard," Kaidan murmured, "being a bad writer doesn't make you stupid."

She sighed and leaned over to hug him tightly.

"It's just that you went to medical school and I'm a dropout," Shepard mumbled, "I feel stupid next to you."

"And you're much more of a tactician and marksman than I could ever hope to be," he replied, "We all have our strengths."

They exchanged a small smile and kissed again as Kaidan began to work on the report. After a moment, Shepard's hand wound its way down his chest to fondle him through his pants. A sharp hiss left his mouth as he felt himself quickly respond to her advances.

"When you finish, the reward could be very worth your while," she purred, nibbling on his ear.

"Color me intrigued," Kaidan replied.

He accepted her challenge. He tirelessly worked on correcting the report and lost track of time. When he finished, he glanced at the clock. It was very late.

Kaidan's eyes darted over to the Commander's bed where she had fallen asleep long ago. A little pout spread across her face; Simon lay clutched to her chest like a stuffed animal. He didn't want to wake her and found himself to be exhausted as well.

The moment had passed, but Kaidan would remember Shepard's promise.


	17. Rut

A/n: Liberty with the in-game dialogue? Me? Pssshhh. XD

**The unedited, adult version of this chapter is available on AFF. **

* * *

The mako touched down on Nonuel, the wheels churning up the barely solidified ground. In front of the ground crew lay a small complex. Its white exterior gleamed against the planet's gray and red surface. Shepard sat in her seat, her legs thumping in excitement.

"You're awfully excited for a negotiation," Wrex rumbled, "too excited."

The Commander turned in her seat and caught a whiff of the Krogan's leathery scent.

"I've got a good feeling about this one, Wrex," she beamed.

He snorted in reply as the mako fell from a sudden drop in terrain. The familiar feeling of free falling caught in his chest and he idly observed a few stray locks of Shepard's hair drift upward. In a second, the mako slammed back to the ground, the Commander's hair following soon afterward.

Hair was a curious thing; it separated the humans from other aliens. It was soft and pliable, much like the rest of their bodies. Such softness made humans easy kills for a Krogan. That was at least the general consensus.

Wrex looked between the soft-bodied creatures in front of him and chuckled as he recounted the number of times they had caught a Krogan off guard. What they didn't have in physical prowess they made up for in skill.

"You drive very rough," Shepard grumbled, snapping Wrex out of his trance.

"You have no idea," the Lieutenant replied. He shot a smoldering glance to the female on his right.

Wrex rolled his eyes. The scent of heat wafted to his nostrils; the humans continually denying their need to rut each other was becoming annoying.

An awkward silence set over the group as the mako rolled toward the complex. Finally, the building drew close and the rover stopped, allowing the ground crew to step foot onto Nonuel's hot terrain. Wrex scowled inside his helmet as the scent of human heat circulated through his breathing system. He followed behind Shepard, taking his customary spot on the right.

The complex doors opened without preamble; the ground team's helmets automatically compensated for the breathable air. And for the first time in a long time, Wrex found himself grateful for the sudden blast of the scent of drugs from the complex's air.

"It sure took the Alliance long enough to send someone!" a voice shouted from the upper level of the complex.

"Sorry about that," Shepard called back, "I was recently informed about what was going on."

A man emerged at the railing of the second floor, disdain etched into his scarred face.

"And they send a woman!" he shouted, "Does the Alliance think this is a joke? Do they send you to attempt to distract me with your whorish charms?" He sneered down at the trio below him.

"Hardly," Shepard spat, "your mom has more than enough whorish charms. I'm sure you'd be immune to mine."

The man's eyes widened before his face contorted in rage.

"You come to my kingdom and offer insults instead of tribute," he roared, "I am Lord Darius! You will address me as such!" Darius slammed his fist against the railing, the slap of armor against metal ringing throughout the complex.

"Alright, Lord Darius," Shepard sniggered, "I am a Spectre. I don't have to answer to anyone's law except my own. I am a Commander. You will address me as such."

"I don't give a rat's ass about the Alliance or the Council," Darius seethed, "your Alliance has trespassed on my territory and taken element zero from a mine on my asteroid."

The Commander quirked an eyebrow. The asteroid and mine were both Alliance claims.

"What do you want in exchange for us being allowed to mine on the asteroid?" she asked.

"The miners are welcome to mine element zero on my asteroid in exchange for a few small considerations," he replied, "The miners will pay a reasonable fee for extracting element zero on my asteroid. In addition, part of that element zero will go to us in a monthly fee, as well as equipment to produce red sand."

"That's," Shepard scratched her head, "kind of steep..."

"And one more thing," Darius shouted, "you must say 'please' Commander Shepard. You must beg me for the privilege to have the Alliance mine on my asteroid."

The Commander's eyes snapped up to the madman on the second level. He was on incredibly thin ice.

"I've read about what you've done; you kill those who surrender. Your arrogance knows no bounds, but the one thing you hold above all else is completing the mission," he demanded, "Beg me and be my whore for a night. Then I will allow the Alliance to continue mining."

Darius barely had time to finish his sentence before a biotic orb sliced through the air toward the second floor. The complex exploded into a flurry of gunfire and shouting. Throwing up a barrier, Shepard ripped her shotgun from her lower back and began to plow through the untrained mercenaries. She glanced around and saw that Wrex had control of the lower floor. And while she fought her way to get to Darius, Shepard noticed her Lieutenant slink up the stairwell, the crackling hum of his biotics battering the door frame.

"Dammit, Kaidan," she hissed as a sudden wave of tech drones prevented her from following him.

Shepard dove behind a support pillar and listened carefully to the drone's movements, popping out to pick them off one by one.

"Bottom floor clear," Wrex's voice rumbled through the comms.

The Commander stepped out from behind her cover, only to watch as Darius' retainers flew off the balcony to slam into the ground with a sickening crunch. In the next instant, Darius followed; his body and armor shattering with the force of impact. Shepard found herself transfixed by the macabre tangle of broken limbs and the splatters of blood that flung in all directions.

"Packs a punch like an asari commando," Wrex snorted, "I'd think he's earned your breeding rights, Shepard."

Shepard turned to address the Battlemaster, but he was already gone. Behind her, the sound of armored boots drew closer.

"All clear," Kaidan announced.

He shuffled up to Shepard wrapped his arms around her, inhaling deeply at the back of her neck.

"If you hadn't started the fight I might have," he murmured. "There's no way in hell he would have gotten away with saying what he did to you."

Maybe he would have; in a moment of passion, the Lieutenant found himself sure that he would have defended Shepard's honor by breaking rank and ruining the mission. But as his rage began to cool, the rational Kaidan came back into focus. The mission took precedence over everything to Shepard; he'd known this since before he'd met her. Rumors of what she'd done on Torfan spread like wildfire. Shepard would throw her entire unit at the enemy to get the task done. She would sacrifice civilians if necessary in order to do the greater amount of good. Without a doubt, she would sleep with the enemy if it meant she could complete the mission.

Shepard believed she was a tool that could be used to make the galaxy safe. It made her capable of doing things that most wouldn't dare. She would use any skill or resource in her power to do the task at hand.

So, by staying his hand, Kaidan had honored her more than if he'd defended her honor and attacked. The thought brought a bitter taste to his mouth. If there hadn't been a hidden subtext to Hackett's words, it was likely that she would have briefly considered the idea of lying with Darius as an absolute last resort option.

Mission accomplished.

A surge of possessiveness overtook Kaidan and he pressed himself into her, his mouth moving to her neck. Shepard melted into his embrace as his ministrations to her neck made her knees weaken. Wrapping an arm around her hips, he pushed her into a crate and continued to lavish attention on the side of her neck. Kaidan would make damned sure that he would be the only man she'd be with ever again.

"Rutting over the corpses of your slain enemies," a gravelly voice chuckled, "you two should have been born as Krogan."

Kaidan jumped away from Shepard, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Shepard stood slowly and straightened her back. Her face turned red to match the marks her Lieutenant left on her neck.

"Your human modesty is your own genophage," Wrex grumbled, "It's a wonder that there's that many of you to begin with. You don't accomplish anything by mounting each other with your armor on."

"Anything of use back there?" Shepard asked, pointedly ignoring the Battlemaster's quip.

"Nothing unless you have a desire to use red sand," he replied.

"None whatsoever," she murmured.

The trio trudged off to the mako, Kaidan sneaking a grab at Shepard's behind when he thought Wrex wasn't looking.

* * *

A freshly-showered Shepard grabbed a seat across from Kaidan at the mess table. In front of the Lieutenant lay an overflowing tray of chicken sticks and fries. The Commander observed the haphazard way in which he ate. An undetermined amount of chicken sticks married with a couple of fries were given a cursory dunk in sauce before being tossed into a hungry mouth. The process repeated itself sometimes before the previous batch of food had been swallowed.

Yet the table remained clean despite his rapid intake of food. Kaidan ate with the ferocity and cleanliness of a hungry biotic that had learned to eat at BAaT and had been punished for each count of messiness, no matter how negligible.

"How about you sauce up that stick and toss it at my mouth?" Shepard asked, eying the rapidly emptying tray.

Kaidan's hand froze in mid air as he timidly swallowed his food. Reaching over to the sauce, he dunked the chicken stick before hesitantly tossing it toward Shepard's open mouth. The stick missed its objective, the sauced end smacking against Shepard's cheek then tumbling down to bounce off of her chest to land on the table.

"And now you've got your sauce all over my face," she murmured.

Shepard wiped the sauce off with a finger. She caught the eyes of the man across the table before her tongue darted out to lick the tip of her finger. Suckling gently, she smirked at the low whine that came from his throat.

Kaidan's biotic desire to eat warred with his intense desire to continue playing Shepard's naughty game. He was hungry; he'd given his biotics quite the workout in the earlier fight. But here was his chance to continue where they'd left off. Maybe he could have both at the same time. A sneaky hand trailing up his thigh changed everything made him forget about food altogether. He glanced away from the tray of food.

There was sauce on the table.

"You missed some," Kaidan murmured.

Shepard shot him a questioning look.

"The table," he ordered, "and my stick is still covered in sauce."

Her face scrunched up in a silent laugh before she picked up the stick and gently licked the sauce from it. Placing the stick on the tray, Shepard leaned over to lick the splatter of sauce from the table.

"Down you go," Kaidan grinned.

The devious hand from earlier returned, this time stroking the thick bulge that lay against his thigh. Kaidan's breath left his mouth in the form of a pleasured hiss. But as soon as the sauce was gone, Shepard's face left the table, taking her hand with. She stood and stared him directly in the eye before retreating to her quarters. Kaidan followed her, his nerves hyper aware of the feeling of the clothes on his body.

And for a brief moment their eyes caught, the unspoken word 'now' passing between them.

The doors to the captain's quarters slid shut.

* * *

"So, it appears that you like your doggie to be rough," Shepard chuckled, peeling the side of her face off of the table.

She ran her hands through her hair where his hand had been while Kaidan relocated to a nearby chair to remove the pants that still hung around his booted ankles. Shepard followed suit, discarding her torn thong along the way.

"Well, I mean, you said harder and then..." the Lieutenant trailed off and his eyes widened. "We didn't use a condom."

"Relax," Shepard smiled, "I'm on tri-monthly injections." She walked past him, brushing her hand over his shoulder.

For a while the room was completely silent.

"And then what?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan shot her a confused look.

"You were saying something earlier," she offered.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "I was saying that I remembered when..."

Shepard lifted an eyebrow at her Lieutenant's slowly reddening face. Hadn't they just had sex not more than five minutes ago?

"You said a while back that you liked it rough," he murmured, "really rough."

Shepard smiled at him. It was funny how in one moment, he'd be an aggressive, passionate lover then in the next he'd be back to the same bashful Kaidan he'd always been.

"So, what was in the bag from The Toy Chest?" he asked, regaining his sly smirk.

"That's for you to find out later," Shepard replied.

Kaidan chuckled and drew her in for a kiss. He was a bit nervous to find out.


	18. Pondering and Planning

A/n: Fair warning for everyone: this fic is winding down to completion. After it's complete, I do have plans for this story arc. The first of these plans is a prequel named "Apparent Magnitude". It'll explore ME1 and how Kaidan and Shepard met, became friends, and fell in love without realizing it.

I apologize for the short chapter, but I had to get something out there. About 300+ words of it are censored for the FF people, but it was either put out what I had or try to stuff more in here and have the quality suffer.

_**The explicit version of this chapter is on AFF. There is a link in my profile here. **_

* * *

Urdnot Wrex felt restless.

It was an unsettling feeling for the ancient Krogan. For centuries he'd wandered the galaxy, living off of the greed and fear of others by taking contracts as a hired gun. He'd severed his ties with his people and had abandoned them to their fate. Among the Krogan, he was both feared and reviled as an outcast who had been betrayed by his own father.

Wrex snorted and glanced at the heaping mess of his family's armor that lay against the vacant gun cleaning station. Both the armor and station stood for times past; they were small monuments to once great warriors. Yet they were both entirely different. Williams' station was new and barely used while the armor of the Krogan was old, battered and useless.

He chuckled darkly as the scent and sounds of humans rutting above him started again. Humans were fertile and genetically diverse; perhaps the Council would eventually create a genophage for the ambitious newcomers when they overstepped their bounds. But humans weren't merely a race of warriors. They were musicians, artisans, scientists and business-savvy. In some ways, they were much more formidable than the Krogan. And they were so numerous that they didn't have to worry about when their next generation would come. The act of mating had become less about procreation and more of a pastime or bonding exercise.

Wrex eyed his family's armor again. Was there any way he could restore it to its former glory?

A loud moan sounded above, causing the Krogan to growl in frustration. He could either mope about his lot in life, or he could give a damn about what was going on around him and do something. Perhaps he'd have a talk with Shepard when she left her quarters.

That was, if she left her quarters.

* * *

"Is it always going to be this incredible?" Kaidan murmured, his hoarse voice dancing across her ear.

"It better be, mister," Shepard chuckled.

"Nothing but the best for you," he replied, giving her a small peck on the mouth.

Kaidan picked her up and placed her on the bed. The couple snuggled beneath the sheets, happy to finally have private time together.

"So, now what?" Shepard asked, turning in his arms to face him.

"Uhm, as much as I want to," he chuckled, "I don't think I'll be able to have another go for a bit. We've been at it for quite a while."

She rolled her eyes and huffed; clearly he'd said something wrong.

"No, I meant us," Shepard murmured, "Now what?"

He paused for a moment before kissing her on the forehead.

"We get this reaper business done," he replied, "Then we'll retire and get married."

Kaidan said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. And as Shepard snuggled closer to him, she came to the startling realization that it felt natural to her as well. She'd never considered marriage before; she'd never thought beyond the next day.

Planning outside of military operations was foreign to the Commander.

But they'd known each other for the better part of a year and had trusted each other with their deepest secrets. Kaidan had become everything to her.

"My home is with you, Kaidan," she smiled, "I can't imagine being anywhere else."

"I feel the same way, Shepard," he replied.

An unbidden, horrifying thought came to her mind.

"What if something happens to one of us?" Shepard mumbled, "What if I get spaced or something?"

Kaidan sighed and ran his hands through her hair.

"I don't know," he replied, "but without you, my life would be miserable. We run some high risk operations, but when the mission is over, it'll be different. I'll be glad that you'll be with me when it's over."

"So, we'll kick the Reaper's asses then retire and get married," Shepard chuckled, "sounds like a plan."

She scooted closer to him and inhaled deeply, reveling in his comforting scent. Shepard found herself wondering how in the hell she'd gotten to where she was. She was happy and for all intents and purposes, she was engaged.

Did she truly deserve this?

Shepard had been a terrible person all of her life. As a Red, she stole from anyone she could, slept around and harmed others, all while under the influence of any substance she could get her hands on. Even after she'd sobered up and joined the Alliance, she reveled in the violence, clawing her way to the top of the pack by any means necessary.

But it didn't matter to him. This was something that Shepard found difficult to process. She sighed, unable to figure the whole thing out. Perhaps if he could overlook it, then she ought to learn to do the same.

Kaidan planted a soft kiss on her forehead, quietly reaffirming Shepard's thoughts. She closed her eyes, glad that she had his comforting presence in her life. They snuggled closer and fell blissfully asleep.

* * *

A pair of large, shiny eyes stared at the Commander's door in confusion. Small primate hands attempted to push the portal open, only to find a cold, unyielding slab of steel. A mournful hoot sounded throughout the empty mess area.

Simon had been forgotten.

The worst part was that the colony leaders were mating and the rest of the colony was completely isolated from them. It was like they didn't want to be protected while they mated; like they didn't want to be watched. Everything inside his little pyjack body told him that this was wrong.

He could hear that they were done for the moment, the stale smell of previous matings wafting through the air. But something was off with the scent as well; the colony female was infertile. And yet they were mating. The whole thing didn't make sense.

"So you feel left out as well?" a voice came from above.

Simon turned to see the blue female towering behind him. He cocked his head to the side, wondering what she'd do.

A pair of soft, feminine hands gently wrapped around him as he felt himself being lifted up to a soft chest. Simon rested his head on the blue one's shoulder, tucking his hands in close to his body.

"It's okay," she murmured, "I'm left out too. But I know they're happy."

The woman turned to walk toward the med bay, a frown marring her pretty features. They passed the nervous one known as 'Murray'. And as the doors of the med bay closed behind them, Simon spotted a tray of food on the desk. His large eyes remained transfixed on the food as Liara sat.

"I figured you were hungry," the asari murmured. How long had the poor thing gone without food?

Liara looked at the clock on her terminal and drew a sigh of relief when she saw that the pyjack wouldn't have missed a meal. Her eyes traveled to the blank metal wall of the ship in guilt.

She'd thought that Shepard had forgotten Simon altogether; this was an ungracious thought. The Commander probably had an alarm set to remind herself to feed her new pet.

Liara sent a quick message to Shepard's terminal as to the location and status of Simon. It wouldn't do to have their time interrupted by having to leave the room to feed him. Perhaps they'd like to have a nice breakfast brought to them in a few hours. Both of them needed to keep their energy up, especially Kaidan, who required an extremely large amount of calories.

This brought another turn to her line of thought. Why did she feel the need to be nice to both of them? Was she truly in love, or was she merely attracted to Shepard?

Since she'd joined Shepard's team, Liara had felt like a bumbling fool. She didn't know military protocol and had been much too weak to join in fights for over a week. By then, they'd defeated Saren and stopped his invasion.

But what of Shepard?

She knew many things about the Commander, but she didn't know the woman too personally. There was instant attraction, but perhaps she had misconstrued this as love.

A sour feeling settled into the pit of Liara's stomach as she considered this answer. Had she been lying to herself all along?

As Simon helped himself to his meal, her hands found their way to his glossy fur. It was strangely comforting to find companionship in the small creature, though it did little to ease her confused heart.


	19. The Hybrid

A/n: Hey everyone. I know it's been a few months since this has been updated. It's very hard to be motivated when it feels like Bioware is ignoring the Virmire survivor entirely. That being said, I'm trying to push through this writing slump. Hopefully y'all are still around to read :/

* * *

The brush felt like a claw raking itself through her hair.

It was the same kind of brush she'd used for years, though it was much too large for the amount of hair the Alliance allowed her to keep free of a bun. She'd never been content with her hair; hopefully she'd die with the secret that her hair was a light mousey brown instead of its fake glossy black. Throughout her career as as professional junkie, she'd had her hair every possible combination of unnatural color and black. Upon her retirement and subsequent joining of the Alliance, only the black remained.

The large rectangular brush slogged through Shepard's hair once again, becoming ensnared by a mammoth tangle. Memories of a rough hand fisting itself into her hair the previous night played through her mind. Her eyes wandered over to her ruined thong on the floor, a devious smile spreading across her face.

Shepard hastily drew the brush through her hair, ignoring the violent feeling of tangles being ripped apart. When she found herself free of tangles, Shepard snagged the pair of destroyed panties and shoved them deep into the pocket of her fatigues.

Her feet carried her to the elevator; when it landed, she glanced around the cargo hold with a grin. It was empty.

With purpose, she strode over to Kaidan's locker, her hand wrapped around the balled-up panties in her pocket. Shepard opened the locker, removed the panties, and stuffed them into her Lieutenant's locker behind his armor.

That'd give him something to think about.

* * *

Kaidan secured his armor and grabbed his sidearm, ensuring that it was firmly in place. He reached for his shotgun and paused in mid grab as something out of place caught his eye.

In the back of his locker, a small bundle of cloth rested, its red ruffled lace stark against the grey interior of the locker. The Lieutenant hooked it around his finger to investigate. The cloth unraveled, a broken string swinging loose to dangle in front of his face. The majority of the fabric was stiff as if it had been soaked through and dried in a heap.

"Oh, you naughty thing," Kaidan murmured.

For a moment the Lieutenant simply stood in front of his locker, eying the incredible prize in his hands. It was the pair of panties that he'd ripped off of Shepard in the heat of passion.

Behind him, Kaidan heard the elevator doors open. He reluctantly shoved the panties into the back of his locker for safekeeping before turning to face approaching footsteps.

It was Shepard, the enabler herself, a sly grin spread across her face. Garrus followed behind her in short, stiff strides.

"I got your message," Kaidan smirked. He shut his locker door while his eyes wandered over her spindly armor-clad legs.

"Good," she replied, "don't forget it, Lieutenant."

He moved away from the lockers to give Garrus room to suit up. Giving the Commander one last heated glance, Kaidan watched Garrus' movements intently. Though the turian moved with the same dexterity that he usually possessed, there was something hasty in each action that he performed.

This assignment was vastly different from others. It was something personal that Garrus had dealt with for years; it was an unclosed case that the former Officer couldn't let slide. The turian tracked an illegal organ developer all the way out to the Kepler Verge. Not even a name change could save the doctor; Garrus' sleuthing skills were on par with those of the Spectres.

Kaidan gave Garrus a nod before they followed Shepard up to the elevator, a quiet ride and trek to the front ensuing. The Commander stopped in front of the cockpit and pressed a button to activate the intercom.

"Medical team, are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes, Commander," the voice of Dr. Chakwas replied.

Shepard nodded and shut off the intercom. She'd told the medical team to be on standby to assist people of multiple races that could have serious medical complications from Saleon's experiments. After their arrival, they'd signal for transport to pick them up for further treatment.

"Establish communication with the MSV Fedele," Shepard ordered.

"Connected and awaiting communication," Joker replied, pressing a few buttons on his side console.

The Commander stepped toward the console, shooting a glare in the direction of the communications speakers.

"Attention MSV Fedele," Shepard said, "this is the SSV Normandy. We were in the area and noticed that you are running silent and are willing to provide assistance as needed."

A minute of tense silence ensued, the Commander's eyes narrowing at the console.

"MSV Fedele, we have a Council Spectre on board and it would be wise of you to respond," she snapped, "if you do not reply, you may be charged with obstruction of justice."

Still, more silence.

Shepard nodded to Joker and he shut off the comms and extended the airlock port to connect with the MSV Fedele. Wordlessly, the ground team followed her to stand in the decon scan in order to enter the other ship. As soon as the doors closed behind them, Garrus shifted behind her.

"You alright, Vakarian?" she asked, her eyes darting to pin the turian with a sharp look.

"Never better," Garrus chirped. He stroked his rifle lovingly as his raptor-like eyes focused intensely on the door in front of him.

In a matter of seconds, the airlock to the foreign ship opened and the team sneaked in with their weapons at ready. Shepard signaled the trio to halt as she peered into the disheveled cargo area of the ship. Seeing nothing but a row of stacked crates, the Commander inched forward cautiously, her boots barely making a sound against the metallic floor.

It was a bad location; the crates blocked them from seeing most of the room. Shepard double checked her radar and saw that there was no indication that there were hostiles in the room. Quickly, she whipped around the corner with her team, guns at ready.

Her boot made contact with a blue substance and lost traction; the Commander landed sharply on her knee. She hastily stood as her eyes darted about for any sign of hostiles.

They were surrounded by corpses, all in various states of putrification. Shepard had no idea what in the hell they were; the corpses certainly weren't of any dead body that she'd seen before.

And she'd seen a lot of corpses.

A movement to her right drew her attention and Shepard's shotgun whipped around to find one of what she thought was a corpse in her sight. Its gnarled arms lurched forward, shaking as they slowly brought the creature into a more visible position.

"What the fuck is that?" the Commander murmured. She'd shoot the damn thing if it so much as farted at her.

The creature attempted to sit up but fell on its elbows; five-fingered talons scraped along the floor of the ship in a high pitched screech. The human-like skin of its palms sloughed off as it attempted to sit up again and it fell into a heap of blue blood. Letting out a low keening sound, the creature rolled over and pinned Shepard with its raptor-like eyes.

"Uh," Shepard murmured, unnerved that she was stuck in a staring contest with it, "stay here, thing. We'll get some help in a minute."

It blinked its eyes and laid down, seemingly satisfied with the Commander's declaration. Shepard shrugged and motioned her team to follow. They waked up a short set of stairs and turned right to face a decrypted door. Immediately, Kaidan set about the procedure of hacking the lock on the door, the team at ready to cover for him.

The door opened to reveal a salarian, his tattered labcoat covered in blue splotches.

"Oh, thank you so much for finding me," he gasped, "I hid in here when those things attacked me and I locked the door and they couldn't get in. I'm not really sure what they are but I didn't want to test out their claws because those look like they'd hurt a lot and -"

"Alright, slow down," Shepard said. She regarded the salarian in front of her. Was this scrap of a creature really worth the time? By the telltale pock marks on his arm, the Commander could tell that the Doctor had been shooting up. He'd been doing it for a long time as well; his slender salarian frame was disgustingly thin, as if his spine would snap under the weight of trying to support his horned head.

"Garrus, are you sure this is the one?" she murmured, unsure if she wanted to put the salarian out of his misery or to provide help.

"Yes, that is Dr. Saleon," he replied, "I'd know him anywhere."

"Saleon?" the doctor interjected, "I don't know of any Saleon because I am Dr. Heart. I specialize in organ replacement surgeries which can be of the utmost delicate nature. Under me, patients have a higher survival rate for this extremely risky surgery."

"Right," Garrus scoffed, "Well, I'd harvest your organs first but we really don't have the time."

Dr. Saleon froze, his eyes growing wide. He reached for a gun on his left but was shot down in mid-grab. The doctor's lifeless body crumbled to the floor.

A moment of silence followed, Garrus staring at the body of the person he'd been tracking for so lon.

"Alright, let's see if we can find any information about that thing in the other room," Shepard commanded, ending the silence.

Kaidan followed her around the room, trying to find useful information among the unsanitary medical equipment. Finding nothing, they circled back to the entrance to the room. Garrus was still there. He continued to stare at the lifeless body of his prey, unmoving.

The Commander and Lieutenant exchanged a nod before exiting the room, leaving Garrus behind. Together they entered the cockpit to attempt to find information; all backups would likely be on the main computer.

Kaidan sat down at the terminal in the cockpit and began to carefully remove all of the security measures that Dr. Saleon had put in place. Scanning the newly opened files, he searched for any kind of clue as to what the doctor had been doing.

"Find anything yet?" Garrus' voice chimed from the doorway.

"Looking right now," Shepard replied, nodding toward her Lieutenant.

Kaidan paused in his reading, his brow drawn into a tight frown. Blinking a few times, he typed in a few more keywords and continued to read.

"This is not good," he sighed, running his gloved hand through his hair.

"What?" Shepard asked. Garrus began to pace the short area of the cockpit.

"It seems that Dr. Saleon was trying to increase the universal marketability of the organs," he replied. "The creatures in the other room were his attempts at making some sort of human-turian hybrid."

Shepard glanced back at the solemn turian behind her; he'd paused in mid stride.

"Remind me to never fuck you, Garrus," she chuckled.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Garrus snorted, "I don't want to get my neck snapped by a biotic kick any time soon."

"Does it say how he came up with that idea?" Shepard asked, returning quickly to business mode.

"Could be the meth he decided to start shooting up," Kaidan murmured, "he's got dozens of logs of buying the stuff."

"Why would he choose that?" Garrus wondered. "I mean, there are safer, less antiquated and easier to find drugs out there. Instead, he goes for the obscure human drug. Not to mention that it's illegal everywhere. At least sand is legal in some places."

And now they would never know; Dr. Saleon was dead. Shepard shifted in her seat, anxious to leave. She didn't want to think about someone else's drug habits.

"It doesn't matter now; what's important is figuring out what to do with the remaining survivor in the other room," Kaidan interjected, cutting off Shepard's thoughts.

"The prognosis is grim," he continued, glancing at the rest of the team, "essentially, the hybrid creature's organs are attacking each other. Its body is literally killing itself by the second and there is no foreseeable cure."

Shepard stood slowly, her mind mulling over the obvious decision she had to make. She felt her team follow behind her as she reentered the cargo bay. The creature was waiting for her, its eyes locked on to her position. Now Shepard found herself able to see which parts of the creature were from inherited from a human and which were turian. Knowing its origin had little effect on the uncanny creepiness that it exuded.

"So, you're going to die," she addressed it, "Either it can be slow and painful or quick and painless. Your body is slowly destroying itself. There is no cure."

The Commander drew her pistol and held it against the creature's head. It maintained its gaze with disturbingly blue turian eyes as it leaned the side of its face further onto the barrel of her weapon.

Shepard exhaled and fired.


	20. Waiting, Watching

A/n: Hello all. It's been a while. I'll admit that it's been very difficult to get into writing with the lack of showing an interest in the VS on BW's part. Yes, I know about BW's gameinformer announcement, but I'm extremely leery of BW and how they've handled their characters, marketing, QA, etc. However, I'm going to claw my way to the end of this fic. There isn't much farther to go and it'd be a shame to stop now.

Misc: If anyone's interested in seeing my art, I have a deviantart with the same name (fortunesque). I plan to add some gaming fanart to my classwork that I already have posted.

Sidenote: I'm writing some Fallout: New Vegas stuffs. If you like a twist on canon, you might like what I come up with. Keep your eyes peeled :)

Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of sexual acts (voyeurism) and I'm quite frankly too lazy to censor this time. Skip the second/final section if you don't want to read :P

* * *

Garrus cleaned his pistol from the one shot that it fired.

As a favor for Shepard, he'd already cleaned the blue blood off of her armor and pistol. She hadn't asked for him to help; the turian felt like it was the very least he could do for Shepard helping him close a chapter in his life.

He stared at his pistol, remembering how easily Saleon fell. Was this really a closed chapter?

He should have felt satisfaction. He should have felt like he'd made the galaxy safer from a mad scientist. Shooting Saleon ought to have been satisfying; instead Garrus found himself staring into the gaping maw of discontent.

His taloned hands worked the action on the pistol. All the parts moved as they should. There was absolutely nothing that could be improved on the weapon. This irritated Garrus; there always was a way to improve something.

He fiercely slammed the clip chamber back, his frustration growing when he again found the weapon to be flawless.

"You know, you can't fix something that isn't broken," a voice sounded behind him.

Garrus gently put the weapon down and turned around. The scent of alcohol drifted across the space between him and Kaidan Alenko.

"I know," he grumbled.

"And sometimes things stay broken despite your best efforts," Kaidan trailed off.

Garrus wasn't used to people getting into his business, especially if they appeared to care. The only times he'd gotten attention from his superiors was generally for something risky he'd done on a mission. Garrus wasn't fooled, though. He was a foreign guest on a human ship. Though they'd given him a sense of camaraderie, Shepard would toss him out on his ass if he did something that jeopardized the mission. Garrus respected this; it was her ship.

He respected Shepard as a person as well as a commander. As time passed and he worked with Shepard, he grew fond of her precise, prompt methods of working. She even used the rules to her benefit while working; it was truly an interesting and useful skill. He turned his attention back to the man in front of him.

"Look, I appreciate what you're doing but I'm fine," Garrus sighed, "I've just got stuff to think about."

He wasn't in the mood to spill his guts, least of all to someone intoxicated.

The Lieutenant nodded and turned to go back to Shepard. Across the hangar, Tali emerged from engineering. She passed by Kaidan, her pace picking up. He said something to her; Garrus heard a nervous giggle drift toward him. The Lieutenant disappeared into the elevator and the quarian immediately relaxed. Curious.

"You do know your interest is misplaced," he said as Tali approached him.

"My interest?" She started.

Garrus stared at her blankly and she relented.

"I know," the quarian sighed, "and it's not really an interest so much as attraction."

"Oh?" he countered.

"Humans," she replied, "Don't you find them fascinating?"

Garrus hadn't given it much thought and he shrugged.

"Did the Alliance send a copy of the geth data to you?" he asked. He didn't want to talk about humans and their confusing ways.

"Ah, yes," Tali sighed, "though it took them a while to send it. Still, the fact that this is an official Alliance set of intel is very helpful in my pilgrimage."

"I don't see why Shepard didn't just give it to you," he replied, "the Alliance wouldn't have known about it and it would have guaranteed that you got the data and received it quickly."

"Well, I'll admit that I was mad at first," she shook her head, "but I couldn't let her go against the laws of her people. If a quarian did such a thing, they would be tried for treason."

"Hm, that is right," Garrus murmured.

"Anyway, I was just out for a quick stretch," Tali chirped, "it was nice talking to you."

Garrus nodded at her and found himself alone in his thoughts once more. He regarded the pistol on the bench again and picked it up. Fluidly, he drew the action back, surprised when it caught and didn't close until he roughly slapped it. The perplexed turian dismantled the weapon, peering at all of the small parts for the issue. Each part looked as it should.

Methodically, he put the weapon back together and drew the action back once more. This time, it worked perfectly. His eyes trailed over the picture of the late Gunnery Chief that sat on the workbench. If Williams had been alive, they could have talked about the pistol.

Aching discontent reappeared as he thought of the dead soldier. He wondered how her family was holding up; he wondered how his own family was holding up. A pang of regret washed over him as he thought of his ailing mother. Looking around the ship, Garrus felt almost claustrophobic. Whatever he was supposed to be doing in his life, he was no longer supposed to be here.

* * *

If there had ever been an occasion to drink, Shepard had found it. She didn't remember the amount that she had to drink and it didn't matter. All that mattered was forgetting what happened earlier in the day.

A hot breath in her ear caused a shiver to surge down her spine. Shepard stretched and yawned, leaning back into an embrace of muscular arms. Her skin tingled as alcohol slogged its way through her system. Behind her, Kaidan pressed closer, his insistent hand traveling from her shoulder southward.

"If you two are going to do that here, I'm just going to warn you that I will take pictures," Joker's voice sounded in front of them.

"Oh, I bet you would love that," Shepard retorted, standing slowly.

Behind her, Kaidan shifted in the copilot's seat. He eyed her up and down as she stretched.

"Come on, cowboy," the Commander murmured, "let's go saddle up."

Wordlessly, they shuffled toward Shepard's quarters, the smell of alcohol trailing behind them. Joker chuckled to himself and pressed some buttons on his console. There was nobody around and the show was about to begin.

Within a minute, moans and gasps poured through the speakers. The pilot shifted in his seat as he watched Alenko clumsily rip Shepard's clothes off and and roughly enter her after dropping his pants unceremoniously. Most of the time, it took one look and the couple would trip over each other to get a quick fuck in before they had to work. And they rarely had time to get completely naked. Joker was fine with this; he didn't want to see Alenko's ass.

He switched cameras to get a better view of Shepard. With each one of the Lieutenant's thrusts came a smacking noise, the Commander's tits bouncing merrily in time. A hand snaked around to where the couple was joined. Joker leaned in to watch Alenko mercilessly rub Shepard's clit with his large, calloused hands.

"Shit!" the pilot cursed as Shepard screamed loudly.

His hand smacked the button that would turn the volume down. Turning around, Joker saw that Pressley was the only person on deck; the old man was in his own world, staring at a screen that displayed star charts. Nobody had noticed and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He turned back to his private show in time to see Alenko collapse on top of Shepard.

"Son of a bitch," Joker swore.

It had been another quickie. Frustrated, the pilot turned the camera view off, unaware that the couple was just getting started.


End file.
